Finding Your Inner Peace

So many people talk about finding your inner-peace. The question is, how do you really do that? What exactly is inner-peace? Having inner-peace may mean different things to different people. Is it having your bills paid off? Being in a perfect relationship? Having your dream job? Truth is, it's not any one of those things by itself. It can be a combination of one of those things and more. It is whatever truly makes you feel calm, happy and relaxed on the inside. You could have a stack of bills sitting on your kitchen table and still feel peaceful inside. Let's explore how that is possible.

I used to have anxiety all of the time. I caught myself self-sabotaging a lot by talking negatively about myself, as well as thinking negatively quite frequently. I had grown up in a very abusive environment. Unfortunately, in doing that I learned a lot of negative behaviors. I was called names, told I was stupid and that I probably wouldn't amount to anything worth while. I ended up going to therapy and one day it just clicked, "Behavior dictates outcome." If I wanted to live a positive, peaceful lifestyle I had to train my brain to think that way. I learned how to do that and it made a tremendous positive difference in my life. I eventually went to school and got a job in special education where I did behavior interventions for a good part of 24 years. I learned not only how to help myself, but how to positively help others.

I learned how to feel, heal and deal with my obstacles and negativity. It's ok to feel bad, angry, hurt or upset. The trick is to not allow yourself to dwell there. Give yourself a day if needed, allow yourself to feel the feelings, make a good plan to deal with them and let the healing begin. The first thing you need to do is forgive yourself for anything you may blame yourself for. Next, if someone else hurts you, learn how to let it go. Releasing all of that toxic negativity from your brain and your heart will allow you to start your journey to finding that inner-peace. Let me share some strategies that I use and also teach to others. Here are a few techniques you can practice that will help you and motivate you.

- Meditation: Take 5 to 10 minutes in the morning to meditate. If you have never meditated before that's ok, here's how to start. Find a quiet place where you won't be interrupted. Sit down, close your eyes and take 4 deep breaths in and 4 deep breaths out. Allow yourself to focus on the breath. Listen to the sound of the air going in and out. If you need more than 4 breaths, take as many as you would like until you feel your body calm.

- Positive affirmations: If you aren't big on meditation, you can set those same 5 to 10 minutes aside and recite some positive affirmations. Pick some that will make you feel stronger and better about yourself. For example, "I am strong, I am smart, I am happy, I am healthy, I am successful." Say them slowly and confidently. Close your eyes, relax and allow the positivity to flow within you.

- Journaling: Start a daily journal. Be completely honest with yourself about everything you think and write down. Take this opportunity to write down some pros and cons in your life. Figure out areas you want to improve upon. Write down why you think those areas need improvement and what are some goals you can set to make those improvements. Write down both positive and negative things that happen in your day. Journal before the day begins and again at bed time. This way you have time to reflect on what you wrote. Journaling is a sort of self-therapy. It's like talking to a therapist but the pages are talking back to you instead of a person. By all means though, if you think you would benefit from a therapist, find one that's a good fit with you.

- Exercise: Exercise is so good for you. You don't have to join a gym but you need to find something that gets you moving and hopefully working up a bit of a sweat. When you push yourself a little bit physically, it kick starts those endorphins in your body. Endorphins contribute to happiness. Whether you choose to go on a walk, hike, bicycle, join a gym or some other physical activity, it will benefit you both physically and mentally. You can even start your day with a good stretching routine or some yoga. Whatever you start, stick with it. Consistency is the key. Eventually you will notice the difference in your physical and mental well being.

Trying these few simple strategies and techniques can help start you on your journey to finding inner-peace. Let's face it, life is full of obstacles and difficulties but we don't need to let them consume us. You will actually be able to deal with your obstacles better if you feel calm inside. Sometimes when we get anxious, we can't think straight. Isn't it better to approach a problem with a calm and clear mind? I think so. Learning how to calm yourself and live a healthier lifestyle will help you live a more peaceful life. You don't need a perfect life, you need a peaceful one. Living a peaceful lifestyle will help you be able to obtain those goals you have and perhaps realize some of those dreams in a more productive manner. Be consistent with your strategies. Give yourself 30 days to try them. If at the end of the 30 days you see and feel a difference, stick with it. If not, try some other techniques that might calm you better. Remember, "behavior dictates outcome". The way you behave, trains your brain. You have the power within you to change any turmoil you may be having. You have the power to find your own inner peace. It's as simple as just starting. You got this!

Written by: Sue McGaughey

Photo credit: Sue Mcgaughey