Finding our way back home

We enter into this world through a breath from heaven, with a sense of wonder and eyes of childlike curiosity. Yet, somewhere along the way, we often lose our innocence, trusting abilities, and naive playfulness. Even our sense of home.

Why is that? And how can we find our way back into the simple joys of life, living in the moment, imagination running wild, worry-free, and sparks of creativity?

For me, I go back to the teachings from my "Grandmoo" Beach, who at 102 is still alive in 2020. Her guidance over my lifetime has literally saved me. Showing me the ways of cherishing family and friends, following one's heart and intuition, being kind, listening, and above all, never giving up or complaining... despite the oppositions and challenges one may be facing.

Backstory: She, Elaine M. Beach was born in August of 1917, 12 years before the great depression. At 18, she married her high school sweetheart, John C. Beach and they were married for over 50+ years before he passed in 1987, yet she was only with and loved one man her entire life. Remarkably, she has also lived through the depression, five major wars, Beatles explosion, Martin Luther King Jr., Elvis, John F. Kennedy, and cared for a family of four, plus numerous grandchildren. Her values, beliefs, and ways of life have always remained true and bright, much akin to the quote of St. Francis of Assisi, "Speak the gospel at all times, if necessary, use words."

So without further ado, I'd like to share the "4 waves of "beach" living," interchanging "ways" to waves for my Grandmoo Beach is like the ocean, her waves moving us, holding us, lifting us, carrying us, and giving us life... without the ocean asking for much back, or to ever be repaid.

Wave #1

Be kind to your family and neighbors, especially when they're not nice to you.

How do we love our neighbors as ourselves, or even a family member you're at odds with? It might feel easy to do when you're feeling loving, yet what about those times you're feeling frustrated or at your wit's end? I often observed my Grandmoo taking a "time-out" instead of "acting out" in words and deeds if she was bothered by what another person said or did. She focused on activities like playing cards, trimming her rose bushes, or dipping her toes into a pool, instead of partaking in an adversarial and difficult conversation. Many of my family members thought she was a softy, yet instead I saw and experienced a woman who was strong and kind enough to allow others to be who they were, even if she didn't really like what they were doing or saying. In her own stillness, she accepted them.

Wave #2

Get your hands dirty!

Often, during my yearly visits with my Grandmoo, I went up and down two flights of stairs with her in her big house in Seattle, Washington. It was her forty year practice in keeping a thriving backyard garden until she was in her mid 90's. She dug, poked, planted, picked, and pruned typically in a dress she liked or the jean outfits she had multiple sets of in her closet. Each day, she would come up to the kitchen table laying out the beauties she had grown with a big smile on her face and naturally, earthly crusted and soiled hands.

Wave #3

Have compassion for others, even when you don't understand.

What is it like to Walk a Mile in His Moccasins? (an actually quote from Mary Lathrap's thoughtful poem Judge Softly, written in 1895.)

And how do we really know a person's life just by their appearance? Yet, if we see someone with a shaven head, you may think or even yell out, "skinhead, gay, or freak." Without reservation, those were the various names I was called twenty years ago when I spontaneously gave my long blonde hair away one evening at a street fundraising event held by the San Francisco Police for Make-A-Wish America. In those few moments of surrender and creating a wig for a child with leukemia, I felt utter bliss... in giving another person a part of me. A part of me that would help them feel whole again. The following day, I woke up at my mum's house outside Sacramento, and the first words that my Grandmoo said to me on the couch while rubbing my freshly shaven head was, "Now we can see your beautiful face!" Tears slowly fell down my morning face... and there was this wave of love and compassion that transferred between us, and beyond us.

Wave #4

"Believe in the power of love!"

People in the modern era have shared that their loved ones with Dementia and Alzheimer's don't recognize or know who they are anymore. Maybe you have experienced this? In this wave, I would like to offer a remedy, in not giving up on those who are near and dear to you after they've been diagnosed with these conditions. Yes, it does take, trust and faith that our lifelong connections are surpassing many of the memory, communication, and thinking symptoms... in fact, I've found that communicating with my dear Grandmoo over the past few years is very similar to being around animals in the wild. To be able to enter into their world, one must be patience, kind, and compassionate... and above all, love! During my recent time with her this year, I would hold her hand and asked questions, with her responding in a yes and/or "uh hum," or a plain no.

"Are you ready to go?" She replied "uh hum."

"Would you like some water?" "Yes."

"Do you like me rubbing your back?" "Uh hum."

Then, she surprisingly said on her own, "Grandmoo" back to me with a sweet smile.