Finding Motivation

It's 10:00pm and I am diving into a cup of coffee, because even though it's close to bedtime, I feel so unaccomplished. I haven't been motivated. Today has been overwhelming, and I feel the only thing that could potentially perk me up and get me writing is a glorious cup of coffee. Oftentimes as a writer on here and elsewhere, I just have so much trouble staying focused and working towards my goals. I sit there and think, "All I have to do is write ___ many articles," which in itself seems overwhelming enough. But the thing is, I don't want to be one of those part timers; I live for the day when I can say this is the way I live.

Relatively speaking, I'd like to be paid to be a writer and make a living off of my work. Everything I write, every sentence, every word, every noun, every verb, is carefully crafted. The time and labor spent in extracting the ideas from my brain and generating these articles is so lengthy, but when I'm motivated to do it, I thrive. However, when I'm unmotivated, depressed, and just feel like I can't accomplish anything is when it feels the absolute worst, especially when you are always expected to cheer yourself on because others just don't care, or don't have the time, or you are just a lot more isolated than others.

I've looked at a few articles online about motivation and what they say helps people become motivated. After reading a list from one, I found myself thinking "this is all easier said than done". It can be so overwhelming to will yourself to be motivated, especially when you don't have any type of support from friends, family, or anyone else around you. Sometimes, you just have to keep going for YOU and no one else.

I had a recent financial issue not too long ago which required me to work for 14 hours straight the other day so that I could pay for this obligation. At a certain point, I was so exhausted, I think my brain just turned off for a bit and I was only going through the motions, hoping I was going to meet my goal by the end of the day, and I did. With that being said though, having that strong of willpower is hard. It's hard to make myself work for that long, knowing that I'm wearing myself out, that I won't have any free time to do things like write articles on here, or relax and enjoy my time.

The point is, after I read this list, I just thought of how exhausting it might be to go through that whole "will yourself to be motivated" thing. I mean, you can will yourself to do anything, but that doesn't mean you will enjoy it, doesn't mean you will be any more motivated, and doesn't mean that you will be able to put yourself through that kind of mental strain again. However, if we never TRY, we will never KNOW.

The list also suggested just staying active to try and get your brain to start feeling motivated to do something. I get that one. I can see how being more active can help with that.

My main hang-up with everything is just getting started. There is this little invisible stop sign in front of me that prevents me from even moving past it, like a barrier for my soul. My body and my mind won't let me climb past it sometimes. It's the worst feeling. You feel like you have this huge weight on your shoulders, yet nowhere to release the weight. It can be absolutely devastating if you let it control you.

Something else that has a direct impact on people's motivation is their mental health. I know this. I for sure know this because I suffer from anxiety and depression, which I feel like can be some of my biggest barriers when trying to accomplish tasks and achieve your goals. I want to give up and quit so easily because my mind tells me all these negative things like I will never be able to reach my goal. I know a lot of people suffer with this and the negative self-talk as well. I don't really know what the cure is there except to maintain your medication and appointments with therapy, but even with all that, I am still struggling. The biggest struggle is to continue to stay motivated even when no one is watching, looking, or listening to you. That is where I'd like to be.

So, I guess the biggest question, and what I should be answering here is "how do you become motivated during a time in your life when things feel so dark and hopeless, and you have no support from anyone else?"

Well, for some people, the darkness and hopelessness motivates them because they know if they get through it, there will be better days ahead. Some of us choose to stay in that dark place for far too long, wearing out our welcome because we feel like we just can't get through them to the light at the end of the tunnel. Some of us, in that exact moment of fear and darkness, just shut down. However, the strongest of us, despite all of the obstacles we face, all of the adversities we have been dealt in this life, we keep writing. You have to remember that your words are important and valuable, and meant to be shared with the world if that is what you wish.

Even with so much positivity and strength, I always lose motivation when I need it the most, and during the most dark times in my life. I don't know why, but I imagine others have the same issue. The only thing I can confidently say to you is that you are not the only one. There are others, like me, experiencing the same thing you are. And maybe if you knew that, and knew that others have been in your situation before or are right there with you right now, well, maybe that would motivate you to keep pushing forward. Because that's all we have, isn't it? Each other.