Expressing Yourself

Until I started focusing on my inner qualities, my beauty never jumped out. My “canvas” has always been expressed in my hairstyle. I don’t have any tattoos, but always wanted one. I guess I live vicariously through my daughter, as she has more than ten tattoos. I have always been known as “the girl with big hair”.

I guess being known that way is better than being known as “bitch”. I may be known as that too, haha. I never realized how much my hair defined me when I was younger. Once I stopped and thought about it, I had an aha moment. Often times when you see a teen do something outlandish they are crying out for help.

As a teen I had a mo-hawk, then I switched to eally big hair. Even my clothes were not the so called “style”. I always looked different. I think I thought I liked that then. I really wanted to be noticed. I never thought about why I wanted that look until I became an adult. I wanted someone to ask if I was doing ok.

My self esteem was at the lowest it could have been as a teen. I’ve also felt that way as an adult, but then I realized I should look at my self worth as well. As I grew into an adult I still had different hair styles. I even went so far as buying a hair salon. You know when people say you can’t or you will never? Those comments motivate me to prove hem wrong. I guess it’s called being competitive, it may be that, but for me it’s personal. Yes I want to prove certain people wrong, but I also want to prove to myself that I can do anything. Feeling this way can be good if you know how to set personal boundaries.

You must have boundaries in anything you do in life. I see now, as an adult, that I want my beauty to be about my inner qualities, not just my hair. I think by expressing myself with different hairstyles has always made me feel like I was in control or in charge of my life. That sounds really crazy now that I admit it, but I think it’s true. I think that a woman’s hair is the first thing anyone notices about her. So when anyone, even when I look at myself, looks at me I want them and myself to believe I’ve totally got myself and life together.

I can honestly say that I do NOT have all of life’s answers. What I can say is that I am strong. So my hair has made me feel in control and in charge, but has also given me strength. I know for a fact I didn’t get a job once due to my hair. I had to have strength to get past that. This type of thing happens and will continue to happen to open minded people who express themselves.

For example, my daughter works in healthcare, but has a hand tattoo. This one thing defined her in some college classes, and jobs. Tattoos do not define who you are, they are expressions of yourself. So many look at art on your body as “bad”. It is up to us to have the strength to prove to them we are smart and capable of anything.

Now that I’m done preaching, I will continue. We all want to be respected in life. No matter how we look, we deserve respect. Having helped homeless people, I know every human being wants respect and deserves it. There’s an old saying, “You can’t like another person, until you like yourself”. This shows how many unhappy people are in this world. Think of all the hurtful things people say to the homeless. All of the countless times you have been judged. Those people obviously hate themselves and want to bring all those around them down. When you express how you feel with body art you are showing how much you like yourself. Liking and loving yourself are always good things.

It is not arrogant to be true to yourself. It’s not always easy to be true to you, but it can be done. Some may even call it selfish. To those few that say that, I say fuck you. We all deserve to be happy and have the right to express ourselves. Body art, hairstyles, sexuality, any way we choose. My expressions will always be through my hair. That always seems to make others know I’m approachable. I want to help people feel that way because they may need a listening ear. Always express yourself in ways that compliment you and make you happy.