Every Pain Has a Purpose

When you get a random text message from a friend with some good, Godly advice, do you ever sit and think, "Wow, I've got some really great friends"?

Well, I do! And I'd like to share a thought-provoking message a friend of mine randomly sent me one regular afternoon.

She sent:

"There is purpose in pain. Push forward and identify the purpose. Don't let the pain keep you stagnant and confused.... Stop asking God for what you aren't going to take care of..." ~Bishop TD Jakes, The Turning Point

As random as her message seemed that day, it was on point and on time. It stopped me in my tracks because the part about allowing pain to keep you stagnant and confused resonated with me. I have been there! I began to think back to all the times during my painful moments that I've quoted,

"I need to get off of 285. I'm wasting a lot of gas." (For those who don't know, I-285 is an intrastate highway that circles the city where I live, and if you don't find an exit, you will continue to circle the city).

I've also been known to quote,

"I just want to get off the fence. It's uncomfortable here."

Wasting gas "circling 285", and sitting on uncomfortable fences was enough motivation for me to do something about my situation. So I did, and life is much better now.

I decided to write about the lessons pain has taught me in my response to her. I've listed them below. Let these lessons be an affirmation for you, and confirmation to you that every pain has a purpose!

My Response to my friend:

"THIS!! My Pain's Purpose was....

1. To remind me that God is ALL I need when I'm feeling lonely and alone.

Lesson:

Naturally, I am an introvert. Being alone is not my problem. However, I have felt lonely both in a crowd and when I was alone because I was dealing with abandonment from some of my closest relationships with others. That feeling cuts deeps and while I wanted to be "included", I was too depressed to be included. (That was part of the trip around 285 I referenced above).

When it all boiled down, it took me a while to understand that my one true companion, the one I was talking to on a daily basis-all day, everyday-was God! It took a while to see that through my abandonment from others, I still had Him.

2. To show me that I am a woman with a voice (and I need to use it)!

Lesson:

Being a quiet introvert has its pros and its cons. I enjoy the time I spend with myself, and others, to a degree. After too much interaction, I need that alone time I was so desperately crying about above.

But in this case, the act of being too quiet, too shy, too introverted cost me the opportunities to speak up for myself. The pain of allowing others to speak and do for me because I was too _______ (fill in the blanks), helped me see that too much of anything is not good.

All it took was that last straw for me to WAKE UP, GET UP, and SPEAK UP for myself. I frequently referenced a quote from speaker, Les Brown, that states, "When the pain of change supercedes the pain of where you are, you'll change."

And just like that. I decided a change was not only needed, but necessary for my growth and happiness. I was hiding under the guise of being an introvert when really what I was feeling was low self-esteem, lack of confidence, lack of strength and power, and lack of direction. "No more!", said I to myself! I purposely became more social, and by that I mean posting and commenting more on the social media platforms I use(d), and attended more women's events, networking events, and outings. I used my voice and made myself come out of the natural Cancer shell I was so uncomfortably comfortable in, and saw drastic changes within myself!

3. To inform me that what you tolerate-with ANYTHING-will continue, and eventually become what you accept.

Lesson:

Remember the lesson we just learned about not speaking up? #3 tells exactly why it was a problem for me, and probably is, or will be, for others. I feel like it should be a law to life in some way. I had to understand that being the quiet, non-combative, "don't rock the boat" woman I had become was not serving me, it did not serve those I was still responsible for caring for, nor was it part of my purpose. As I grew through Lesson #2, Lesson #3 inherently came with it.

4. Words have POWER!!! You will be held accountable to them at some point! Be careful with what you say. You never know when your card will be pulled, or when you'll be required to live 'em or eat 'em!

Lesson:

Life is just easier when you mind your mouth! There's that age-old saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all", but I'm not all for that phrase, especially in light of the previous lessons we've talked about.

I do, however, love the phrase, "it's not what you say, but how you say it". There is a way to say anything- whether through anger, hurt, or happiness. Either way, whatever channel of emotion your words come through, be sure to filter, test, and refine them before releasing them for production. Doing this will produce a closer end result to what you were probably looking for.

5. God will show you ALL the signs you ask for.....however, they mean nothing if action is not put behind what you think the signs He's shown you mean."

Lesson:

Raise your hand if when you're going through something, or have a big decision to make, you ask God, Source, your Creator, or even the wind to blow your way and show you a sign that what you're feeling or thinking about doing is "right". Yep, been there too! But what I learned was any and everything you ask for shall be given to you. Check out Matthew 7:7-8 for more proof on this.

Through my trials, I had asked God to show me a sign about how a friendship, relationship, or workship needed to change. He showed me alright. I was catching clocks at the same time everyday. I was seeing birds, I was hearing the same message from almost everywhere. Even the calendar synced in September 2019 with Palindrome Week.

*Palindrome: A series of letters or numbers that are the same forward as they are backward. ex. 1991, Hannah (one of my favorite childhood stories by the way).

I took that as a sign to mean that whatever decision I needed to make, project I needed to start, or act that I should, or should no longer commit to doing, the will have the same result if I try to turn around. Even after Palindrome Week I found myself seeing signs that I attributed to mean something profound in my life.

What am I saying? God gave me all the signs I had asked for, and even ones I hadn't-just happened to stumble upon them. I had to grow to learn that a sign is just a sign without movement toward your goal for asking for it in the first place. Simply put, this lesson reminds me of a money quote a wise friend once said to me in conversation and it has stuck with me since he uttered the words. "It's not how much money you make. It's what you do with the money that makes the difference."

Ahhhh! So you mean to tell me it's not how many signs you see, it's what you do with the signs that make the difference? YES! That's exactly what I'm saying! I still believe in, and see signs that I deem necessary for my life's decisions. It's just now, I act on them to see the difference I'm hoping that particular affirmation will grant me. So by all means, take all that you've been asking for and DO something with it!

I'm so grateful that my friend sent me that snippet of an hour-long message that touched her enough to share it with me. It gave me a chance to reflect on the past to keep me focused on my future. It was refreshing to look back and see that my pains had served their purpose. We both carried on with the rest of our day, but these Top 5 lessons carried me THROUGH the rest of my day! I hope they do the same for you.

Happy carrying on....and remember:

Like what you read? Share these, and your pain with a purpose tips. Or... give a tip $$ ;-)