Envy, that powerful emotion we are ashamed of
Don't lie, we all feel it, but won't admit it
Hey You,
yes, You reading this story, I'm sure you are familiar with the feeling.
Picture the scene:
it's a casual Sunday afternoon, a beautiful sunny day, you had lunch with your loved ones and decide to chill for a bit scrolling through your Instagram feed. (Oh, what a mistake that was.)
And the next thing you know, you get that familiar not so pleasant feeling as you see that one post.
You know what I'm talking about, don't try to be a bigger person.
All you can think about now is "I wanted that, too. It's not fair."
What you are feeling my friend has a name, and it’s envy.
The most simple definition of envy is: it's a feeling we have when we want something that another person has. It often manifests as this strong, almost painful, sensation in our bodies.
We all feel it
Don't be ashamed, we all feel it. We are humans, after all, it's somewhat normal.
That feeling of envy and the level of personal success are not connected, which means that successful people CAN feel envy as much as the "not so successful" ones.
Remember that next time you got that feeling scrolling through Instagram. Also, people you envy for something are likewise envious of someone else. It's a vicious circle in some weird way.
It's there for a reason
Like any other emotion we feel, envy has its place in our lives (like it or not).
There are some theories stating that envy had a key role in the emotional development of our species.
There is also this: envy is a strong motivator for some people. You can go from a procrastinator to a successful person in a jiffy just because you felt envy.
Let's picture another common situation: as you keep scrolling through your Instagram feed, you keep getting envious of profiles with a certain theme, let's say those are the people with jobs that are way more dynamic than yours.
Good job, you noticed your trigger profiles. Now let's do this. Keep a pen and paper next to you and write down profiles that make you feel bad and envious. Next to the profile name, write down WHY you feel the way you feel.
Did you notice some repetitions in that list? Do you strive to be THAT person or to have THOSE things?
If your answer is yes, maybe you can try creating those things and behaviors yourself so you stop being envious of them.
Let the envy guide you towards greater things for yourself.
Do something with it
Every emotion brings us some type of information, and it's up to us to figure out what it is trying to tell us.
Next time you feel envious try to answer this simple question: why do I feel envy of this person or this particular situation?
Instead of focusing on the person, focus on that thing, that experience, or that success that you want for yourself, and then think about how you can achieve it.
Yes, I know, it’s challenging to change established patterns overnight. As you work on them, try to make the process as simple as possible.
Specifically, try to temporarily reduce contact with people who make you feel bad, both online and offline.
Practice this approach gradually, and then (if you want) re-engage these people in your life, when you feel motivated and excited when you look at their success.
Guess what, and I will make it happen for myself!
Because if they can, so can you. Keep this in mind, always.
I got your back, don't worry.
About the Creator
Eleanor Annay
I wouldn't call myself a writer yet, but I'm getting there. I'm a creative soul enjoying writing and photography.
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Comments (1)
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