Dear Younger Self

In my 26 years on this earth, I have learned many lessons. I've learned how women are in this world. I've learned how loud women are perceived in this world. I've learned how heavy women are perceived in this world. I've learned how genuine women are perceived in this world. I've learned how intelligent and passionate women are perceived in this world. As I was growing up, I was constantly adapting to the room I was in. I never wanted to stand out, fear of judgment controlled by actions.

When I was an excited kindergartener, I loved sharing all the knowledge I learned in school. I loved learning about new topics of how the world works. Then I received my first lesson, "No one likes a "Know it all"." It's shameful to discuss the information you have in your head. I was often told that "No one cares", "Why do you even know that?", "Your head is filled with useless knowledge." So, my younger self shut down and stayed quiet. I kept my head in books and my mouth shut. The irony of that decision is my profession, I am a middle school Social Studies teacher. Where it's my job to spew information that I learned to everyone in the room. It's my job to talk all day about my passion for history and sharing that passion with others. Every day I teach my students to appreciate history and they leave with encouraging thoughts. They say, "Ms. Romaniello, because of you I enjoy Social Studies now!", " Your class was always loud and fun which made me look forward to it!" So sweet girl, keep on sharing your passion for information with the world. Hold on to the joy of learning new things. People will admire how much you know. People will be grateful for how much they learn from you. When you share your passion people absorb it.

While growing up, I learned that people did not appreciate a "Chatty Cathy". In middle school, this lesson slammed me in my face. My parents and I went to visit my sister at her university. So, I decided to fill up our 8-hour road trip with deep conversations about religion, geography, and societal flaws. I was 12 mind you. By hour 6, my parents begged me to be quiet by bribing me with a $20 bill. My heart sank and I buried my face in a book to hide my tears. The good old phrase I would constantly get was "Geez, does she have an off button?" It caused me to shrink into my shell. I came into this world an extrovert and learned to be an introvert. In big group settings, I would barley talk unless spoken to. I would hold back opinions and insights. I would never raise my hand in class even when I knew the answer because I did not want to be known as the "Know it all girl who talks a lot." Now, me being able to hold a conversation is one of my best qualities. I help guide conversations at work and with friends. As a Gemini, my soul lights up from a good deep conversation. I believe you connect with people through the spoken word. My Love Language is words of affirmation after all. So my dear little lady, keep on speaking up. Make new friends from thoughtful conversations. Crush interviews with your way with words. Have people yearning for your last word. Students enjoy your class discussions about society and its imperfections. Have people feel at ease talking to you because you always have something to say. advocate for those who cannot speak for themselves. Girl, no you don't have an off button because there is so much to accomplish in this life. So, keep on talking.

When I was young, I was never considered the "Skinny" girl". I had thick thighs and a little pooch. I was considered chubby throughout middle school and some of the high school years. I was self-conscious and carried anxiety with me wherever I went. I was constantly worried about my personality and likeability. I would go to food for comfort. Food never judged me and it made me happy. What made matters worse was the daily taunts about my weight from my skinny pretty older sister. She would call me fat every time at ate something unhealthy in front of her. She noted I would be so pretty if I lost weight. Disclaimer, now she has apologized multiple times and admitted to making fun of me because she was jealous of my intelligence and humor. Unfortunately, her methods led to me losing weight. I would eat less and exercise more. The dark side of working out was my reason for it. I worked out to not be fat, not to be healthy. I was so focused on my appearance I never appreciated my body. I thought if I'm skinny people will like me and boys will date me. I thought my worth was dependent on my weight for the longest time. Dear pretty gal, do not worry about your weight. You will grow up and learn healthy lifestyle changes and have strong thighs from years of soccer and volleyball. You'll love workouts because they make you strong and healthy. You'll meet a man that will love all of your body as he should. You will be athletic and enjoy being active. Your weight does not define you. You will still have a little pooch because your body will one day carry a child and that's okay. At the end of the day, the only opinion that matters is yours.

Life is too short to put yourself in a box. Show the world your true authentic self, flaws, and all. Be loud and passionate about how topics you enjoy. Share experience with people, and eat what you want in moderation. You are going to be an amazing teacher, a great friend, a fantastic girlfriend, a loyal sister, and a sweet daughter. You have so much to offer the world and people are counting on you. So, Dear younger self, you got this.