Dear 2021 Me

Dear 2021 Me,

Well shit. I don't even know where to start. At least we made it through 2020, am I right? Yes, things could have been A LOT worse than they were but it wasn't like we were rainbows and unicorns every day either.

Remember we got back with our ex? YIKES. (jk lol...mostly) I mean, we knew what we were doing, right? (no, not at all *insert dramatic eye roll*) But hey, it's gonna get better. It's gotta get better. Right? Like, life isn't mean to be THIS hard...right? Relationships aren't supposed to be like a muthaf***ing onion. Where you cry the deeper you go down. It should be like cake. Complex. Layered. Delicious (you know, for people who are in to that kind of thing). And you eat and gorge yourself on this thing that's beautiful and sweet and tender, might not necessarily be the best for you, might second guess once that food coma and bloating hit you like a train, but ultimately you have no regrets. Because every moment was totally worth it. That's what I hope comes from this relationship for you. I know we made that decision to fly solo and stuff, but you DON'T have to be alone. We both know you don't want to be. And he loves you. So there's that. I know it'll work out. Give it time.

Remember that HUGE wall calendar I bought us? Before you go making all of these big plans for the year, for all of the things that we forgot to do in 2020, all of the things that we felt uninspired to do, I want you to pause and take a deep breathe. (Come on lazy bones, this part is important. Do it.)

(I mean it. F***ing breathe.)

Good. Now, goals are good and all, but make small goals. Attainable goals. So instead of "I must meet my water goal every day starting today and we must diet and eat green things to lose all the weight and hit the gym all day every day" and "I must finish every novel I've ever started writing" try goals like "finish that bottle of water before I go to bed today so I don't have to drink day old metallic tasting water tomorrow" or "I won't stop at taco bell on the way home after work" (besides you can drink like a whole bottle of wine for the same amount of calories as that fast food you were gonna overeat anyway, so which is the real win here?) and "I'll try writing once a week" (it'll flow when it wants to flow baby, you know this) I know you're gonna wanna get it all done. I know we like plans and seeing as far into the future as un-humanly possible, but just take it easy on yourself.

If there is anything that I've learned this past year, it's good to take a moment. A day. A week. To just do nothing. To focus on you. To just relax.

I know at this point you're probably getting tired of hearing from me. I know you're already planning, but a parting gift? You are beautiful even when you feel like a lumpy stinky potato. You are loved even when the walls feel like they are collapsing upon you and you think no one is in your corner. There is time to achieve your goals, so don't give up on them, they simply need more time. And like, go remember to smell the roses or whatever kind of flower mom puts in her garden (though side bar that might look really weird since they are usually REALLY low to the ground and you'd basically have to lay down on your front yard to smell them. So maybe just like, remember to go outside every once in a while? Talk a walk? Smell fresh air instead of that overpriced candle you insisted you needed that is supposed to smell like the outdoors but smells like everything except for nature?)

Don't make 2021 your year (too must pressure)

But do remember to love yourself and try to do something that brings you joy at least once a day.

You got this.

Love,

2020 Me