Dealing with Change Do’s and Don’ts

People are pretty uncomfortable with change. Some, including myself have a habit of dealing with it by, not so much pretending it isn’t happening... but by ploughing on as if it has already happened. And it hasn’t happened... yet. This particular modus operandi has been my go to action to deal with any number of uncomfortable situations.

GETTING USED TO THE NEW NORMAL

I do remember sitting in a hypnotist’s office some years ago struggling with a break up. It was a break up I could see was going to happen at some point, I felt it would ... it was complicated ex wives and husbands, multiple children and a stepchild situation. But it was actually a good relationship...but I left anyway.. and I could not understand why I felt so bereft. I mean it wasn’t going to work was it?

The hypnotist said “you haven’t given yourself time to adjust”,.... and this has been a recurring theme for me over the years... not being prepared I suppose to wait for things to take their natural course..I needed to know where I was with it, right now!

I reckon that that way have operating had only made leaving things way harder ... I mean I’d liken it to ripping off a band aid, except in these cases the pain goes on on and on... and that’s not meant to happen.

If you know something is going to end or at least change so drastically as to be counted as an end.. wouldn’t you act on that promptly? I have.

HIDING

I wonder if there any others out there who do this... if you are hurt, even if you know in your own head it’s not something you should feel hurt about, YOU feel it and you reflexively withdraw, run away and don’t talk about it anymore? I know I have done this and I’ve also indulged in its evil polar opposite.... saying exactly how wrong I felt about that, thus perpetuating the cycle... of judgement and anger. People are so strange. I sometimes think being a human is like dodging rabbit traps all day. I have even managed to be the evil one in other people’s stories. And that despite trying as far as possible to be fair and honest. Honestly that one sucks the most. I reckon we are tied down to societal expectations to the extent that people can’t be flexible... black and white thinking prevails... woe betide you for putting a tiny toe outside the rules even if it feels energetically right. Anyway to save any dragging on of unpleasantness I will be frank about my need to go...now if not sooner. It seems not everyone see things that way...

MIRTH OR ANGER?

While we are on the subject of people and their competing perceptions, this is an interesting tale of crossed wires

I was at work one day ( I work in a school) and one of the kids was making me laugh.. I called out their name in mock indignation and thought no more about it. Within an hour I was in the Principal’s office, a nearby parent had reported me for shouting at the children!! Fortunately the principal totally understood, my accent and the fact I have quite a loud voice, would have given rise to the misunderstanding. But that’s my point you may as well wrestle with an eel, than pin down the way people think do and say what they do. There are far too many imponderables.

But anyway perhaps that’s another thing I have learnt in recent years. Bolting from something uncomfortable, uncertain and possibly unproductive at the speed of light seems like commonsense, particularly if you can back up your action with good reasoning . It seems that isn’t always appreciated.

WORDS ARE WEAPONS

People say do and act with impunity, not aware of the power of their words or the thoughtlessness of their actions, but they believe they are in the right... so suck it up buttercup. Well no I don’t think I will... if the vibe is wrong..no matter how right it was before. I’ll be gone, might try and take my time about it...no rush is there?