Chasing Happiness

“Please don’t call here again!, Click.”

I had made my last call for the day. As required by the office manager, we are only allowed to stop calling once we hit forty “Not interested” responses a day; However, today was Friday. To pump up morale, we are “gifted” a half day and only responsible for twenty not interested. Unfortunately, most of the offices we were calling on were also in on the half day morale booster, so it took til exactly 3:47pm to hit my quota.

After a short visit to the bathroom, I packed my stuff up and made my way to the elevator. Before the doors could shut, a large freckled hand poked thorough.

“Wait!” It was Preston. He was one of the better performers in the office and after having a successful day, he had quite the pep in his step.

On the descent down, he broke the awkward silence with, “Got any big plans this weekend?”

“No.” I replied in a solemn.

“It's the weekend, Why don’t you come hang with a few of us tonight! We are hitting happy hour to celebrate the end of the week.” said Preston.

“Nah, I’ll pass.” I said with a solemn tone.

It wasn’t that I didn't want to go. I had gone to happy hour with that group many times before. I was just not in the right headspace. The last couple of months have been rough for me.

I’ve been working in this position for two years now. I was ecstatic in the beginning. Growth, career development, the money; all things that were attractive in the beginning. Unfortunately, things that were promised never came true. I have encountered many obstacles. Some small and some big. The reality is that this opportunity did not mature into what I thought it would.

My response to the issue was simple, yet effective. Or so I thought….

Every Friday for the last 2 and half months, I would take myself to Roger’s. A hole in the wall bar no more than two miles from my apartment. I would order a Miller Lite and two shots of Jameson whiskey to start and then would quickly run those numbers up with more beers and more shots. By midnight I would stumble home and pass out on my couch with a six pack and the tv blaring. Hungover the next morning, I would wake up without recognition of the previous night.

Stepping out of the elevator that friday, I had the same intention as the previous ones. I would drop my work stuff at home, call an uber, and hit Roger’s for my usual memory erasing routine.

This Friday was different though. Getting out of the uber, I looked at the parking of Roger’s and realized there were tenfold more cars than usual. I hopped out of the uber and started walking toward a security guard. He was large and clearly in charge.

“What’s going on at Roger’s?” I said.

“50th Anniversary.” He said.

“Damn.” I said under my breath as I started to walk away.

I always went to Roger’s because there were never more than fifteen people in the bar. That capacity was perfect. It meant I never had to talk to anyone except the bartender.

“Well, this ruins my routine!” I thought to myself.

Looking to the street I realized my uber had already zipped off to his next customer. It was on foot from there.

I quickly examined my options. There were two other bars I knew of within walking distance. One a chain restaurant that was sure to be packed and one a college bar, which I had no intention of visiting. I decided to walk to the gas station and up my investment from a six pack to a full twenty-four pack. I figured that would do the trick and I can drink it in the peace and quiet of my own home.

As I was making my way to the gas station, something caught my eye. No specific name, just a sign that said, “Bar and Smoke Lounge.”

“It’s worth a shot,” I thought to myself.

I walked in, greeted by a large smoke cloud and the cracking of billiard balls. I did a quick scan of the room. Eighteen people. Perfect.

I sat down, ordered my usual and boom, routine back on.

The bartender was a pro. He knew I wasn’t in the mood to chat and gave me my order and quickly moved on to the next patron. I had put down three beers and was polishing off my third shot when a gentleman decided to plop down right next to me.

“What the hell!” I thought to myself.

There were so many open seats and he decided the empty stool next to me was the perfect landing spot for his ass. He stayed quiet for a few minutes with the occasional glance at my direction. Eventually, he broke the ice.

“You drinking to forget or you drinking to celebrate?” He said in an inquisitive tone.

I gave him a side eye look and said, “What does it look like?”

“Drinking to erase your memory!” he said with a smirk.

How did he know that this was my routine? My oh so precious Friday ritual.

After a few silent moments, he proceeded with, “Anything I can help with?”

‘You wouldn’t understand.” I naively said.

“Try me!” he said with a smile.

I stared at him for a solid two minutes before deciding to indulge. I explained to him my situation. I went on for two hours and didn’t skip a detail, I told him about my job, losing the love of my life, my misery, my regrets, my doubts, my loss of faith in the universe and the fact that I am just not happy anymore.

To my surprise, he didn’t say one word til the end. He knew that I didn’t need someone to tell me this or that, but rather to listen. As I wrapped up and finished with the final details of my arrival at this bar, he said, “Young man, I will not tell you what to do. I will not give you answers to each individual problem and obstacle you are facing because I do not have those specific answers. But I do have something for you. Give me twenty minutes”

“Twenty Minutes? What the hell?” I thought to myself.

He scurried out of the bar and after about a half hour came back into the bar with a black moleskin journal. It had no writing on the outside, just a sleek, deep black color. He handed it to me and said, “Son, this is a collection of lessons I have learned for the last fifty plus years. I want you to have it.”

I looked at it in confusion and murmured a thanks in reply. He told me to read through every page and by the end I would find the answer to my problems.

For the next two days, I did just that. I read every page. It was incredible. His experiences and knowledge were astonishing. Topics such as: Overcoming obstacles, true love, having kids, taking care of your family, relationships, friendships and on.

As Sunday night came to a close I reached the end of the book. I was a little upset because his promise didn’t come true. I didn’t have the answers I needed.

Until…

I tossed the book on to my couch. In doing so, a folded up piece of paper fell out. It was one last journal entry. I jumped on it. Could this be the answer?

The last entry:

CHASING HAPPINESS

“Son, Happiness does not exist. Happiness is an ever leaving object we chase. It’s a drug. You get a quick high from it, but as it starts to wear off we begin trying to find more of the same drug to continue the high. Unfortunately after that first high, you will never reach the same level of satisfaction. Chasing happiness will drive you mad. The desired outcome should be Joy. Joy in what you are doing day in and day out no matter the result. Dig deep and find out who you truly are and find out what you truly want to dedicate your life to. Once you discover this you will see the world in a new light. You will enjoy the company of your friends, family, the barista on the corner and everything around you. Nothing will get to you anymore because you are above it all. You are enJOYing life. This my friend is Bliss.”

-Jack

The answer was received. Inside that note was an offer. Apparently “Jack” owned his own business and he wanted me to come work with him. He agreed that upon acceptance of the job, he would write me a $20,000 signing bonus. You better believe that when Monday came, I was starting my day in a new position. A second chance at life. My path to Joy had begun.