Charlie's Manuscript

My uncle's passing only compounded the discontent I had for life, even though I never knew Charlie, it was another reminder that death was inevitable. What was not inevitable was life, well, living it that is.

Already 3 years had passed since I graduated high school, and I still have no idea who I am, what I want to be, where I'm going, and most of all, why am I here. Just the thought torments me as I search the abyss for answers.

The day of Charlies funeral arrived and the family gathered at Grandmas. It was odd, since no one had seen or heard from Charlie for decades, apparently he took off to India, never looking back. My father had only told me fragments about him; "Wanted to become a yogi, and never stopped talking about the path to enlightenment, truly delusion if you ask me" I recalled.

It was a brisk evening on the south coast of Australia, and the family huddled in. Grandma read aloud the obscure letter she had received. It informed of Charlies passing, and said that he had made his peace with God.

Grandma babbled "Thank you all for coming, I think everything that needs to be said about Charlie goes without saying. I haven't touched his room since he left and I'd like everything in their gone, you can sort that out yourselves". Immediately everyone rushed to the house bumping and pushing each other out the way trying to get first game on Charlies stuff. I was left in the dust thinking 'is this how funerals usually go?'

The family exited with handfuls of things that looked of value. I glanced in to see the last item, a little black notebook, reluctant to take it I turned to leave as Grandma looked at me and said "everything".

As I returned home I contemplated on my life. My friends had moved city to study at university, and I had been stuck on a production line for years. I had shared love with girls, but our relationships met their unavoidable end. I had always dreamed of more, but each day I felt the vigor for life diminishing. Thoughts screamed in my mind "Why cant life be easy? Why can't it be effortless!" I dropped my head and stared into my lap, "Well, at least I have uncle Charlies notebook" I joked ironically.

Dad and I ate our usual tea and headed for bed, before closing the door, I softly asked "Dad, what is the meaning of life?" Dad pondered for a moment, "I'm afraid no one really knows son" and we both withdrew into darkness.

Once again I slept restlessly, I awoke during the night and rolled over to look at the time, 2:22 am. Unable to sleep I sat up and turned on the lamp, Charlies little black notebook sat beside me, "So, tell me Charlie, how are you going to solve my problems tonight" I sighed as I flipped to a random page. Scribbled in large letters read; 'There are no solutions to anyone's problems, there are only answers' I gasped! shocked at the serendipity of the moment, I gathered myself and continued to read. Charlies writings went on to explain how these 'solutions' we use are only propping us up for an eventual collapse, and finding the answer, or the root cause, is what will free us. The page concluded with 'Stop scrubbing shadows off the wall and turn the light on'. I was stunned in awe.

Uncle Charlie was shining new light on my issues and completely expanding my awareness, all from the grave! I fluttered through the pages to see glimpses of endless knowledge, it became clear this was some kind of manuscript of wisdom he wrote during his early life.

I flicked straight to the first page "There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth, not going all the way, and not starting" - Buddha. It flashed within me, I have never even started on the path to what I truly want to be. Never taken the first step, only endured the prospect of it never happening. Now is the time it must happen, right now, or never.

Loaded with inspiration I stood to my feet and began to wonder through the house, I had no idea where I was going. Opening the front door and entering into the street, I stood half naked in the cold, the crisp wind wisped around me as I fully embraced it with no resistance, it never felt so good to be cold. high in the sky a full moon was shining, it bathed me in its glimmer. I had forgotten the moon even existed, gazing into its pure beauty like it was the first time I had seen it. Completely mesmerized, I stood light footed soaking in the bliss of the moment, feeling my heart gently beat. I shed tears of relief as I delicately uttered "Today is the first day of my life..." The cold grew icy and I returned to bed, for the first time since I can remember, I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

I awoke the next day with a sense of gratitude. Filled with motivation, I took a deep breath ready to begin my adventure in discovering myself. A hike seemed like a great start. I gathered my things preparing to leave, passing through the living room I greeted Dad "Morning! I'm going for a hike, good day to get out and about, don't you agree?"

"You're full of energy today" noted Dad

"I'm feeling good, brand new day" I smiled back

"Its good to see you've chirped up"

"Yea, Uncle Charlies old notebook had some wise words in it"

Dad's face turned inquisitive "Ahh that old black notebook, I remember, he wrote in that all the time, I'm surprised he didn't take it with him when he ran away"

"ran away?" I puzzled.

"Yes ran away, leaving his family behind, such a selfish act. Right before being promoted at the factory too." Dad lent down to lock eyes "Look mate, I know we haven't spoken about uncle Charlie much, but he didn't follow the norm. And it looks like it got him killed half way across the other side of the earth"

"Grandma said he made his peace with God Dad..."

"Son, we say these nice things about people when they pass, but you're getting older now and need to here the truth. Charlie could've been successful, a manager in the same factory you're in. But he threw his life away, and for what, some unrealistic dream. That's who he was. One day you could manage that factory, if you work hard enough."

"Manage it? I'm quitting tomorrow"

"What?" Dad snapped

"I'm miserable there, I want to find meaning in life!"

"Listen to me boy, that's not how life works, you've put in enough time at that factory to be considered for a promotion. Work hard and that will sort out your problems, we've talked about this!"

"Thats trying to scrub shadows off the wall, just like Charlie said, he didn't run away he escaped!"

Dad paused and turned blank "Give me that notebook"

"No."

"Give it here! that things dangerous" Dad lunged for the black relic as I shifted back. I dashed for the door full of emotions, narrowly escaping "Dont throw it all away!" he bellowed as I ran towards the bushland.

I retreated far into the forest as possible. Crammed with angst, I sat atop a rock and reflected on the relationship with my father. How couldn't he see I was wasting my life, I know he wants the best for me but it feels so wrong! What do I know, I'm just a kid, maybe my Dads right. But this path just feels so wrong!

I threw my hands up in befuddlement, rummaging my belongings. Charlies black notebook flipped over and flopped to the ground open on a page, I picked it up and read 'You don't have to be a master of the piano to know when someone plays the wrong key'. I was speechless! Again, my dilemmas were answered, it was a miracle. in a moment of grace things became clear, follow what you feel.

I began to ascend through the trees, dancing my way far off the beaten track. I ventured through nature embracing all that was coming to me in child like moments of joy.

I do have a purpose in life, there is a reason behind it all. These beliefs were being anchored into my soul with each breath of the fresh woodland air.

I peered ahead to see a man hunched over into himself by a ledge, he was wearing a suit with a briefcase. As I got closer I whistled out and cheered "Think fast brother" I chucked my water bottle to him. The businessman snapped around and caught the bottle, however he didn't look glad.

I perched next to him and asked "How's it going?"

with a look of agony that man turned and muttered "What is the meaning of life?"

Without a second thought words fell out of my mouth effortlessly "To have fun"

The businessman brightened "aha.. that's not bad. Jumping from this ledge wasn't going to be fun, but it was going to solve what wasn't"

I gathered the seriousness of the situation "That wont solve anything my friend, don't scrub shadows off the wall just turn the light on"

The man chuckled "I've never heard that before, I like that, but my lights long gone buddy. I've done the same thing everyday since I left school, I don't know what's left in this world for me"

I aimlessly glanced into Charlies notebook and read aloud "If the only tool you have is a hammer, everything becomes a nail"

The mans disposition changed as his troubles began to unravel inside him "I... suppose you're right... what is that black notebook you have?"

"Take a look, comrade" I handed the book over and he began to read. We sat and laughed together at Charlies writings, detailing the simplicities of life, It was like we were old friends. After only a handful of pages the mans spirits were completely lifted. He looked to me with relief and said "I think I know what needs to be done, I think its time I try something new"

I gestured to the notebook "Take that with you when you do mate"

"I cant take your book"

"Its not mine, I inherited it from my uncle"

"I definitely cant accept it then"

"Listen, that notebooks special, its served me in ways I cant explain, and now I feel all I need is within me. You take it, use it as you will. If you feel its offered all it can, perhaps someone else can benefit."

"What do you want for it?" displaying his business demeanor

"Nothing my friend, I'm happy to share"

The man was astonished by the generosity of a stranger, and he felt the love of giving. In an act of freedom he held out his briefcase "So am I"

I took the briefcase. It wasn't an exchange, but two people unconditionally sharing. We wished each other well and left, both knowing good times were to come.

Later on, I looked inside the briefcase, my god, it was stacked full of cash, there must be $20'000 dollars in here! I could not believe someone gave that away. Revelations of the importance of sharing came to me, and I knew exactly what to do.

returning home my entire family's cars were parked outside, I entered and was met with shouting from everyone.

"Where's that book!" "Sit down and listen to us now!" "We have worked to hard for you to go astray!" The family was worried Charlie had corrupted me.

I took a breath and calmly responded "Relax everybody, please. Charlies black notebook? I threw it away. And yes, we have all worked far too hard, and deserve a break" I slapped down on the table 10 tickets and $13'000 dollars in cash "We are going to India, my treat".