Are you afraid of success or failure?

Should you seize the opportunity or proceed with caution?

Whether you want to date someone or run a marathon, there are potential risks and rewards. Logically, you know that if you don’t try anything, you will get nothing. So, what is preventing you from achieving your goals and realizing your dreams? It may be fear of failure or fear of success, or both. Yes, it is possible to be afraid of failure and afraid of success at the same time.

Fear of failure is actually very simple. No one wants to put in the effort just to make their project tanks or plans fall through. To make matters worse, no one wants to feel that they are a loser.

Fear of failure

You failed in the past.

You are criticized or punished for making mistakes.

You are a perfectionist.

Your self-worth depends on your achievements and performance.

You feel like you are inferior to others.

Narrow, fixed definitions of failure and success.

You doubt your abilities, not sure you can really do it.

Fear of failure usually involves self-talk, such as: "If I don't try, I won't fail." It is safe to stand still, not to do new things, and not to accept new challenges. Indeed, all these things can lead to "failure".

It is important to distinguish between "I am a loser" and "I failed to achieve my goal." Everyone makes mistakes and there are failures. This does not mean that we have failed as human beings. Quite the opposite; failure is what makes us a part of humanity. We have an amazing ability to learn from our mistakes. Many of the most successful and smartest people have experienced multiple failures before becoming famous (try Google search failure + Steve Jobs or J.K. Rowling or Milton Hirsch or Walt Disney).

Now, things like Steve Jobs or J.K. Rowling may be both extremely attractive and overwhelmingly terrifying at the same time. But even a normal level of success can cause some of us to adopt self-destructive behaviors, trapping us into inefficient and unsuccessful habits.

1. Reasons for fear of success

2. You feel that you are not worthy of success.

3. You don't like to be the center of attention; feel very arrogant.

4. Your stress, pressure and work will increase.

5. People will be jealous and your relationships will be affected.

6. You may still be unhappy or dissatisfied.

7. Narrow, fixed definitions of failure and success.

You doubt your abilities, not sure you can really do it.

You may have noticed that #6 and #7 are the same as the reason for fear of failure and the reason for fear of success! This is where these two fears overlap. They are not opposed at all. Many people are afraid of failure and success. You can see how this can get you into an incredibly difficult situation.

How to overcome the fear of failure and the fear of success

Acknowledge and accept your fears. Fear of failure and/or success, you are not alone or unfamiliar.

See all possibilities. People who dare to take risks know that they might fail, but think it's worth it anyway. They also know that they may succeed.

Grow. Remember, failures and mistakes are common and amazing learning opportunities.

Failure and success do not define you. You are not "success" or "failure". You are much more complicated than the definition of all or nothing.

The visualization is successful. Close your eyes and use your senses to paint a detailed picture of yourself successfully achieving your goals. Do this several times a day.

Redefine success and failure. Create your own definition of success and failure based on your personal values ​​and goals. For someone, success may be a salary of $100,000, while others may define success as a strong, happy marriage. Was it a failure or a frustration to be hired? You can choose how to look at these things.

write down. Write down your successes every day and read your list regularly.

Get out of your comfort zone. Just step out of your comfort zone. Don't push yourself too tight or too fast.

Progress is not perfect. If you are a regular reader, you have seen me mention this idea before. I find it helpful to remember that even if you are not perfect, you are moving towards your goal. If I start running 6 miles today, but can only run 4 miles, I can choose to treat it as a failure. Instead, I chose to view it as progress because it was more than I could run a few months ago.

Well thought out: the more failures, the more successes.