Another Monday

So it is Monday again and what can I say a two day weekend just is not enough. Same routine different week. Having read multiple books, joined an endless list of “like-mind” online groups, paid for numerous “Miracle Courses” it is still another Monday and my manifesting techniques have produced A whooping -one dozen bales of turf.

Do not get me wrong, it is Winter and turf for the fire is a great prize but it is not quite the luxury life all my readings and online courses had promised me. Me and the Universe need an intervention. Our relationship is in serious trouble -he s distant, doesn’t answer my calls, for all I know he is hooked up with and manifesting with another woman, giving her all his attention. If he does not start responding soon- I may just have to call it quits. But how exactly does one break up with the Universe ?

I mean I have dedicated hundreds of hours to my mission - I have visualised everything from the winning lottery jackpot to marrying British Comedian David Walliams (I am a very understanding woman- he could still see “his” Simon Cowell as often as he wanted- no visualisation in the world is going to be powerful enough break up Damon- I am not a complete idiot )- but hello Universe other people keep winning my jackpot and David Walliams does not seem to be getting the “Call Me Vibes” Im sending him- maybe his Universe mobile is on silent?

So lets get the vision board out- my luxury home office looking out at the sea on the beach of my favourite holiday destination – My luxury home and of course loads of pictures of cash and cheques – pictures of my son with a graduation hat photoshopped on his head – my numerous car pictures and luxury holiday destinations – my beautiful perfect teeth and perfect weight size and every possible photo of David Walliams imaginable pasted continuously throughout – come on Universe – my beautiful boards are available one in each room of the house and on my phone and laptop.

“You have reached the Voicemail of The Universe, I am not here right now, please leave a message after the tone”

GRRRRRRRR

Okay Mediation time – “find a nice quiet place where you will not be disturbed” – physically not an issue but I have a brain that likes to take multitasking to its own unique extreme- I can plan an entire weeks schedule for both home and work, do a budget (its post Christmas so I have none- so budget is perhaps wrong word- maybe play money tennis between bills and paydays would be more accurate),have at least four rehearsal conversations ahead of one actual conversation with my son and decide when to book a suitable Vet appointment for the Cat- all in rapid succession in my brain – great for troubleshooting not so great for meditating and concentrating on my manifestating goals. You would imagine though the Universe and I have being together so long now- he surely knows how pick through my thoughts and sort them in order of priority (admittedly I cant but surely the Universe is all powerful he can ).

Here come the Affirmations-

I Am A Multi-Millionaire

I am my Own Boss

I am Mrs David Walliams

I am financially free

Seriously Universe why cant you hear me ?

Hello is the3re anyone out there listening ?

It is finally decision time do I book couples therapy for me and the Universe, resort to witchcraft – join another group or buy another book or course?

Maybe just maybe it is actually to remove my limiting negative beliefs and start taking reasonable action to e starting my best life in small reasonable steps?

Nothing will fall into our laps while we stuff our faces watching endless hours of Britains Got Talent- we need to meet the Universe halfway-

It is another Monday, another new week full of new opportunities and beginnings – another fresh start-

Believe in yourself – You are unique – You are your own Unicorn