A Letter to My Younger Self

Dear Younger Me,

There is so much I could say to you with the benefit of 43 years of living behind me; so much advice I could give to you. I could tell you not to make this decision, or that decision; but then my life as it is now would not exist. And whilst it hasn’t all been rosy, none-the-less, it’s been my life and it’s what has shaped me into the person I am now, and the person I’m becoming.

Instead, I just want to whisper a few pearls of wisdom quietly in your ear because I think there are things you need to know. This is just a snippet of what ‘older you’ has come to realise, there are many more things I could say, but I’ve chosen what I feel is the most important.

Firstly, I want to tell you that you don’t need to be scared. You’re always so scared of making the ‘wrong’ decision and of letting people down; afraid that you’ll mess up and disappoint everyone. Frightened that you’ll end up on the ‘wrong path’ and become someone you don’t want to be with no way back. You need to understand that there are no ‘wrong’ decisions in life—there are most certainly better choices, but you can never be ‘wrong,’ because with you, everything you do comes from a place of good intention and you always do what you think is best. You make decisions with your heart first and you always do the best that you can.

I don’t know when ‘doing your best’ became a thing for you and this is an admirable quality for sure, but just make sure you keep a check on this need to ‘always do your best.’ You may find in life that at times, you are your own worst critic but nobody expects you to be perfect. Don’t place so many expectations upon yourself. Allow yourself more freedom to fail, and be comfortable with that feeling. It bears no reflection on you as a person. YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE PERFECT! Please learn this now; it will save you years of hurt.

Secondly, there have been many times in life when you’ve been more than aware of the niggling feeling in your stomach, or the little voice in your head telling you that something—a person or a situation—isn’t right. And for whatever reason, you always override this with your need to rationalise and put other people’s feelings before your own.

Well, don’t. Just don’t.

This is your intuition. This is your greatest tool and your greatest power. It’s your true self speaking to you. Learn to listen. You must trust this as it will never lead you far wrong in life. It’s hard to do at first, but like anything, if practised, gets easier with time, I promise. This one piece of advice could quite literally save your life. It will keep you true to yourself and believe me, when you get older, you’ll realise just how important that is to you. Knowing yourself is truly a wonderful gift and believe it or not, not everyone possesses the capacity to do so. Some people live so far outside of themselves and are completely disconnected, but you have the ability to look within yourself and live your truth. All you have to do is be brave. Never be afraid to speak your truth.

Lastly—and this is the most important piece of advice in my opinion—I want to tell you above all else, to know your worth. You’ve struggled for so long with this; never really believing you’re even half as good as everyone else. Always doubting yourself; thinking that everyone else is doing a better job.

They’re not.

Other people are fighting their own battles too. The only person who doesn’t believe in you, is you. You need to start believing people when they tell you that you’re good at something. Don’t jump straight to that place of inferiority, and not feeling ‘good enough’. You need to recognise your value—and not only recognise it—but apply it. Be bold with it. I know it can feel odd and wrong sometimes to put yourself first, but the relationship you have with yourself will shape the relationships you have with other people.

Never be afraid to place yourself on an equal level with other people. Don’t let them treat you badly because you think your feelings don’t matter. THEY DO! Don’t let other people wipe their feet on you—you are not a doormat. You matter, and other people will treat you how you treat yourself. Why should anyone else see and recognise your worth if you don’t? Trust me on this.

You’re going to make mistakes, you’re going to be hurt along the way, but if you listen to my advice, you will hopefully be more in control of your own life and seize your power a lot sooner than if left to your own devices.

My parting words to you really, are just, try to not worry so much. Really. Don’t sweat the small stuff. It may seem like really big stuff to you now, but believe me, bigger stuff is on its way. Life marches on whether you worry or not, so just breathe and have faith in yourself. Trust yourself. Don’t be afraid to be the expert of your own life. Take ownership of it, and be true and kind to yourself, always.

Yours,

Older You xx