4 Lessons On Success I Learned From My 4 MMA Fights

The photo above was taken 4 years ago during my last mixed-martial-arts fight — a fight that I would go on to lose in devastating fashion.

In the dark days after my loss, I despaired. I thought that the countless hours I spent on martial arts all came to nought. However, upon further reflection, it dawned upon me that while I don’t physically fight in a ring anymore, my pugilistic pursuits taught me several universal lessons on success, lessons I apply in my day-to-day life as an entrepreneur.

I have taken the liberty to compile 4 of my favorite ones here. If applied, these hard-won lessons will teach you how to win at life – and the best thing is, you don’t even have to be punched in the face to learn them!

It’s not about what you want. It’s about what you’re willing to sacrifice to get what you want.

Friday was sparring day.

This meant that while everybody my age was out partying and letting their hair down, I was in a grungy fight gym sharpening my skills. I distinctly remember limping home on several occasions and encountering drunk revelers with pretty girls on their arms. However, far from being jealous or upset, I was happy.

That’s because I knew that every day I spent training instead of horsing around put me one step above the competition and one step closer to my goals. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger said in his famous 2018 speech:

“When they saw me in the gym in the Pumping Iron days, they said, why is it that you are working out so hard, 5 hours a day, 6 hours a day and you have always a smile on your face? The others are working out just as hard as you do and they look sour in the face. Why is that?

And I told people all the time. I said, because to me I’m shooting for a goal. In front of me is the Mr. Universe title. So every rep that I do gets me closer to accomplishing that goal. To make this goal — this vision — turn into reality. So I couldn’t wait to do another 500 pound squat. I couldn’t wait to another 500 pound bench press. I couldn’ wait to do another 2000 reps of sit-ups.

I couldn’t wait for the next exercise, for the next half hour of posing, and all the kind of things that you have to do to be a champion.”

Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl agrees with Arnold. He writes in his memoir that,

“What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him.”

Most people think that suffering is something to be avoided, but the truth is, there are few pleasures in life as fulfilling than giving your utmost for the pursuit of a worthwhile goal. When all is said and done, there exist only two choices in life. You can either:

1. Sacrifice for what you want, or

2. Let what you want become the sacrifice.

Ask yourself: are your long-term goals worth some short term discomfort? Are you willing to sacrifice pieces of yourself on the altar of success? If the answers are in the affirmative, train your mind to look forward to work. To look forward to writing another sentence, to lifting another rep, to running another mile!

Keep in mind that every single minute you spend on your craft is another minute spent freeing the angel of your future self from the marble of the present. Hone on your craft with a smile on your face.

That is the attitude of a true winner.

Don’t practice passively. Practice with purpose.

However, it is worth noting that bullish hard work can be laziness in disguise.

There’s a girl I know who prides herself on her work ethic in the gym. Let’s call her Cheryl. Cheryl dutifully shows up for every class and yells with unbridled enthusiasm every time she hits the pads. She tells herself that she leaves no stone unturned in practice. Yet she’s been training for years for minimal improvement.

That’s because her training methodology is fundamentally flawed. She shows up, yes, but instead of playing an active role in her improvement, she is content to go through the motions like a dancer who rehearses the same routine every day, or a chef who cooks the same dish for every meal. As a result, her growth plateaued.

Malcolm Gladwell’s famous 10,000-hour rule is often misunderstood. People think it means “If I just show up, shut up, and put in the hours, then I will succeed.” What it actually means is that anyone can become an expert at their craft if they put in consistent, purposeful practice. Ander’s Ericcson, the researcher behind the 10,000-hour rule, states that purposeful practice is defined by four characteristics.

Purposeful practice has well-defined goals. E.g; to be able to play Moonlight Sonata within a month, to write 1,000 usable words a day.

Purposeful practice is focused. Attention is a scarce commodity these days. Instead of trying to multi-task, set aside some time solely allocated to practice. Practice time should be treated as untouchable. Sacred. I myself adhere to the Pomodoro method when writing, and it has doubled my literary output.

Purposeful practice includes some form of feedback. It’s great if you have a mentor or trusted friends to give you direct feedback. If you don’t, journaling is a great option. John Danaher, arguably the best Jiu-Jitsu coach in the world, is a big proponent of note-taking, saying that “the sheer act of writing aids retention.” Personally, I journal 3 pages a day. It's amazing to be able to look back at my own thoughts once in a while and see how far I’ve come.

Purposeful practice requires the practitioner to get out of his or her comfort zone. This last point is the most important. It is vital you not only shake up your routine once in a while but that you always try to exceed what you have done the day before. The runner who only runs 30 minutes a day at the same pace, never more and never faster, will never improve beyond that point.

Hard work will get you far, but only so far. To get beyond an intermediate level, understand that there is a difference beyond passive practice and active, purposeful goal-oriented practice. And the latter is what winners spend their 10,000 practice hours doing.

Practice purposefully to succeed.

The people you associate with will determine the life you live.

Stop hanging around people who don’t want to win.” – Gary Vaynerchuk

When I was 17 years old and wanted to be a professional fighter, I could be found in the gym 5x a week. When I was 21 and wanted to get into entrepreneurship, I took every opportunity to hang around businessmen twice my age.

And when I realised my true ambition was to be a full-time writer, I immediately signed up for a week-long writers retreat in Bali.

These experiences taught me that skills alone are not the key to success (although, obviously, they are still very important). The key to success is to surround yourself with people who empower you. This may be a controversial thing to say, but research indicates that your ZIP code plays a huge role in your financial future– your surroundings seem to matter more than how intelligent you are, or even how hard you work.

Take the writers' retreat, for example. There, I got some great fiction writing tips from published authors, but the real game-changer was getting to live shoulder-to-shoulder alongside two dozen fellow writers. We shared laughs and beers every night beside a roaring communal campfire. And as the flames slowly died down, we would tell each other stories. Recite poems. Read and appraise each other’s work. That week spent with these writers not only made me feel supported, it also bolstered my confidence. It made me feel like I, too, have what it takes to become a successful writer.

The people you surround yourself with matter more than you think. Sun Tzu already figured this out 2,500 years ago, writing,

“Even the finest sword plunged into salt water will eventually rust.”

So take some time to re-evaluate your surroundings. Fake friends holding you back from the life you want? Cut them off. Toxic relationships affecting your mood? Cut them off. Snide family members making disparaging remarks that dishearten you? Cut. Them. Off.

Muhammad Ali once said that “It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.” Make sure to give your shoe a good shakedown before embarking on your journey of a thousand miles. You might find that the climb is far easier without heavy baggage holding you back.

Seek an environment conducive to success.

You define what success looks like.

“Look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, what do I want to do every day for the rest of my life? Do that.” – Gary Vaynerchuk

In the 21st century, success has become increasingly synonymous with wealth.

While material wealth can certainly be a type of success, success, in general, means nothing more than getting what you want. The Google Dictionary’s definition of success literally states that success is, “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.” Thus, to succeed, you must first know what you want!

I know it sounds like a no-brainer, but your purpose is of the utmost importance. It is the driving force behind all your actions, and will directly affect all the above points we went through. For example, if your definition of success is to be wealthy, a step in the right direction might be to sacrifice relationships for work, practice skills like investing and finance and surround yourself with other wealthy individuals. However, if your definition of success is to be able to spend lots of quality time with your family, then the rules are very much dissimilar — they might even be reversed.

This means that success is ultimately personal. My version of success is being a 6-figure writer living on a beach somewhere, practising martial arts till the day I die. That’s my idea of heaven, but to you, that might sound like torture. As they say, one man’s meat is another man’s poison.

Remember, you succeed or fail on your own terms. If you sacrifice your heart’s desire to fit somebody else’s definition of success, no matter how rich, famous or esteemed you become, deep down, you will never consider yourself successful. Because even if everything looks shipshape on the surface, in your hearts of hearts you will know the truth. You will know that this isn’t the life you want to live.

So set out in fearless pursuit of what sets your soul on fire! No matter how obscure or laughably far-off it seems, you owe it to yourself to give your dreams your best shot. Looking back, some of the happiest moments of my life were when I was sleeping in the gym in a bid to become a professional fighter. I didn’t achieve it, but I came pretty damn close — and more to the point, I woke up every single day with a smile on my face, raring to take another tiny step to make my dreams, and mine alone, a reality.

Remember, the first step of success is to define what your version of success looks like. Think: what does a perfect day in the life of a perfect you look like? Hold that perfect, cut-glass image in your mind’s eye. Visualize it. Then take massive determined action to transform your visions into reality.

That’s how succeeding is done.