12 Lessons Learned in the Last 12 Months That I'm Bringing Into 2021

They say hindsight is 2020, and right now that couldn't be truer. Last year was a struggle for me—I'm sure it was for you too—but living through it really put life into perspective.

Most of the goals and resolutions I was working towards in January 2020, became outright impossible as the year dragged on. My focus moved from living my best life and thriving, to simply... surviving.

With one hell of a year behind us (or should that be a year from hell) now's the time when I'd usually be busy making plans and setting resolutions for the year ahead. Not this time.

It's not that I won't be setting goals at all. It's just that I want to slow down this month and use it as a chance to reflect on what I've learned.

By reflecting on the past, I am in a much better position to clearly see my priorities at present, and then—based on these priorities—set goals for the future.

So, with that in mind, here's what I learned...

12 Lessons I Learned in the 12 months of 2020

January: Wasting away the days with loved ones is never a waste

When I booked my flights home for Christmas at the end of 2019, I planned to spend just a week and a half at my family home. Obviously I'd no idea what was to come in 2020; I wasn't feeling particularly homesick. But as the holidays approached, I realised that I should extend my stay and enjoy more family time before jetting back to Berlin, where I live and work. After a lovely couple of weeks with my parents, I hugged them goodbye and my Mum mentioned that, sure, you'll be back again in a few months. Little did we know the world would be in turmoil by March, and I wouldn't be able to return to Ireland as planned. But even before I knew what the year had in store, I was truly grateful that I'd extended my stay at home and spent those weeks with my family.

February: Winters are warmer with friends

My wonderful friend Michelle came to visit in February. Thrilled to show her around, we soaked up Berlin's sights and enjoyed the nightlife. We had to wrap up, the city gets pretty cold in winter. At the time I wondered if she would have preferred to visit in the summer, but in actuality she chose the best time to visit, as the world was about to plunge into COVID chaos.

March: You don't need to leave the house to get dressed up

As Europe went into lockdown, Zoom quiz nights replaced nights out in bars and restaurants. There was no reason to get dolled up, at least not below waist level, but I donned my glad rags anyway. Getting dressed up for just myself was a great way to boost my self-confidence and add a bit of excitement to yet another night at home.

April: You don't need to get dressed up to leave the house

It's a pandemic, who cares if you pop to the shop in your sweatpants? You could be wearing your pyjamas and I wouldn't bat an eyelid. As long as you're wearing a mask over your mouth and nose, I can assure you no one will care what you look like as you panic buy a 24-pack of toilet paper.

May: Staying connected is possible no matter where you live

The months dragged on, and most of my free time was spent in my apartment in Berlin. Luckily, though, I could connect with friends and family back in Ireland every day. Whether it was a Facetime with a friend, or simply sending a thumbs-up to my mum on Facebook Messenger (an easy way to check-in when you're not free to chat), technology allowed me to feel close to my loved ones despite being in different countries.

June: Constraints lead to creativity

A lot of my goals for 2020 had been to do with my photography business. But with people staying home to keep safe, it was difficult to meet my targets for photoshoot bookings. I decided to embrace the new reality. If a photoshoot wasn't possible outside, maybe I could use technology and bring it inside. I experimented with remote photoshoots, and I also embraced self portraiture.

July: Slowing down is important, and necessary

Had it been any other year, I would have been heading off for my summer holidays this month. Alas, that wasn't to be in 2020. But after hustling hard for months working on my online business in lieu of photoshoot bookings, I decided to take a break as planned. I couldn't go abroad so I took the time to instead enjoy what Berlin had to offer. I also enjoyed time reading, doing crafts, and simply relaxing. The time out allowed me to dive into my business with a renewed enthusiasm when it was time to get back to work.

August: Always be grateful for the little things

If there's one way that this year has changed me, it's that I will never take life's simple pleasures for granted again. In August, there was some sense of normality in Berlin. Shops, bars, and restaurants were open, albeit with new restrictions. I went for brunch just twice the whole summer; with the virus still in circulation I was weary and cautious. Mostly I sipped cider in Berlin's parks. Never again will I take for granted boozy brunches, nights out until sunrise, or simply people watching in a cute coffeeshop. I can't wait to do all those things again.

September: Mindfulness is so much more than just a buzzword

This month I took part in an excellent online workshop called Introduction to Mindful Living by Carolina Pomilio. While it was just a two-hour session each week, it brought me so much value every day, as I often recalled the last lesson and reminded myself to focus on the present moment. I took the time to stop and label my emotions, without judgement, when they threatened to bubble over. This simple act of mindfulness was paramount in managing anxiety as COVID cases began to creep up in Germany.

October: Age is just a number

It's a cliché, but it is so very true. I turned a year older this month, but I couldn't go out and celebrate it like I usually would. After what the world has gone through since the start of the pandemic, I will never judge anyone for going out and living their life however they want to live it, regardless of their age. You can catch me at Ibiza celebrating my 80th birthday.

November: If you feel unmotivated, it's time for a new challenge

By November I was feeling a little listless. With so many of my goals for the year now unrealistic, I needed a new, achievable, challenge to focus on. I decided to write an article every day for a month, choosing Vocal as my publishing platform of choice. I carved out time each day to hit my target, and as my list of articles grew I felt proud of the knowledge I was sharing. By the end of the month, writing had become one of my daily habits and I felt much more motivated to write and create.

December: When you can't thrive, it's okay to simply survive

I looked back at the goals I set for myself at the end of 2019 and saw in black and white how little progress I had made on the targets I had considered so important. Some of them seemed almost ridiculous in hindsight, especially travel-related goals... In this pandemic?! I did not exceed or even achieve most of my 2020 goals. But that's okay. I survived.

Living through last year gave me perspective. Travel, climbing the career ladder, material items, and other markers of success can bring excitement and some satisfaction, but ultimately it's your health and relationships that are the most important thing. This year I may not have reached all my goals. I may not have lived my best life. But I did do my best. And that's enough.

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Follow me as I navigate 2021 on Instagram @byclairep and @shotbyclairep.

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