10 Signs That You're a Good Listener.

You can tell a lot about people by the way they listen. Some of these examples may seem obvious and self explanatory, but others might be tricky to spot. How often do you catch yourself daydreaming during a conversation with someone? Is your mind wanderings always meaningless thoughts, or could they be memories from your past? Depending on how you answer these questions, this list of 10 signs might help you understand your level of empathy and what it means for relationships.

1. Listening leads to forgetting your own problems.

Good listeners are so into the conversation that their own troubles seem to vanish. Pay attention to how much you're thinking about yourself and how much you're absorbed in the speaker. If you listen well, it should not be possible for you to think about yourself at all times and break your focus on the person in front of you.

If a person talks about his problems and he doesn't get any replies like: I've been there too, or it's going to be alright, chances are he feels understood. And that's what makes him feel good and confident in your company, despite all his problems.

2. You find it easy to ask things back.

If you do see yourself thinking too much about your own problems, make a conscious effort to ask the speaker questions. This will automatically pull your attention towards him and make you focus on what he's saying. If you listen well, your brain will be working like a tape recorder and you'll be able to mimic the flow of conversation by asking relevant questions.

Since this will come naturally to you, it is not necessary for you to try and look interested by constantly nodding or smiling; the speaker will sense that your interest is genuine because he can feel that both of your minds are engaged in the conversation at the same time.

3. You're able to remember details.

If you're listening to someone, you should be able to remember what he said. If you failed to listen well, most likely, your mind will have been floating somewhere else. Try observing the speaker's body language as well as his facial expression during the conversation. Whenever he says something relevant, it will be easy for your brain to memorize his words and make sense of them later on.

If you're not listening well and your mind does not focus on what is being said, your memory will be too foggy and it will be hard for you to recall anything that has really happened recently.

4. You can answer questions on the spot with ease...and you do not rely on notes.

If you can't remember a thing, it's obviously because you have not really listened to what has been said. If a speaker asks you questions while he is still talking and he expects some kind of reply or feedback, you'll be stumped if your mind was drifting somewhere else. Strong listeners will focus on the person who is addressing them and they will make an effort to answer back without having to think about it too much.

They might even add in some details of their own, if they can remember them of course. Good listeners are able to pay attention until the end and memorize what has been said, just so they can respond properly.

5. You think about what the speaker is going to say next.

Many people like to nod and smile during a conversation, even though they might not really be following what is said. When you listen well, your mind will be fully engaged in the speaker's words and you'll want to make sure he says what you know he's supposed to say next. If you've given him some time to speak and then suddenly interrupted him, it means that you have not been listening carefully.

Good listeners will stay quiet until they are certain it is time for them to question the speaker or give their opinion on something he said. If you do interrupt, it means you have not been able to follow what's going on.

6. You can summarize the conversation back to the speaker and he will agree with your interpretation.

You must think that this one is pretty obvious, but many people get confused when they try to summarize a conversation; it's only natural because they weren't paying attention at all or they chose to listen only selectively to certain aspects of the speaker's words and tune out on everything else. If you really want to know whether or not you're a good listener, pay attention to how well you're able to summarize back both verbally as well as in writing. If you can do it, chances are that you have understood what the speaker said and you have been able to memorize his words as well.

7. You ask relevant and intelligent questions.

Good listeners will pose questions to the speaker when they feel they need some clarification or some additional information, without trying to dominate the conversation. If you find yourself asking questions out of curiosity, then it means that you are also interested in what is being said and you want to know more about it. Being a good listener also means that you should be able to stop your train of thought for a few minutes so that you can truly understand what is being said and make sure your opinion is well grounded on facts alone.

8. You're able to respond with some edge when the speaker asks for feedback.

When the speaker asks you to comment and give him feedback, he doesn't want to be patronized or heard with a condescending tone; he wants you to be honest and tell him things as they are, so that every opinion counts in his decision making process. Good listeners will not take everything that is said literally or literally they will try and analyze what is being said on all levels so that they can get a good feel of the whole situation, instead of ticking it off as right or wrong. Good listeners will also know how to articulate their thoughts well so that the speaker can understand them correctly.

9. You take notes, if necessary.

If you are taking notes while someone is speaking, it means that you're not only interested in what is being said your interest goes further into figuring out how and why things happened as they did, so that you can really make sense of it all. If you take the time to write things down and analyze them after the speaker has stopped talking, it means that your mind has been focused on what he's saying and taking everything in. If you don't write things down after a conversation with someone, then you're probably not a good listener.

10. You can look directly at someone when he's speaking.

This might sound like a very simple thing, but many people's eyes tend to wander about the room when the speaker is talking to them. This is obviously because they're not really paying attention, but it also means that you cannot be a good listener if you cannot look the speaker in the eyes. If your eyes constantly wander, then it means that there are more things going on in your head than what is happening in front of you.

Good listeners will make an effort to listen and not just look at what is happening near them; they will also try to pay attention to the speaker's facial expressions, so that they can understand the meaning behind his words.

Finally

If you can learn how to listen, then it really means that your mind is open and it's actually going to be focused on what the speaker is saying. It also means that you have learned how to wait your turn to say what you want, instead of interrupting or diverting the attention away from the speaker. Good listeners are able to step back for a few moments so that they can truly understand what's being said and then they add in their own thoughts when they feel it's time.