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Why You Don't Need Only Money to Attract a Woman

The Unavailable Advantage

By The BreakdownPublished about a year ago 5 min read

In today's world, where the allure of wealth often seems to dominate our collective consciousness, a pervasive question arises: Can a man who isn't wealthy still captivate the hearts of women? The standard narrative suggests that women are primarily drawn to men with money. But if this were universally true, what happens to most men who are not rich and likely never will be? The reality is that many men who fall outside the wealthy category still find love and companionship. So, what do these men know that others don't?

The Reality of Wealth Distribution

To provide some perspective, consider this: As of 2021, there are approximately 56.1 million millionaires globally. Of these, men account for about 70 to 80 percent. Interestingly, most of these millionaires are between 50 and 70. The highest concentration of millionaires is found in North America, followed by Europe and Asia. Given a global adult population of around 5.3 billion, this means that only a tiny fraction of men are millionaires. Most men are not exceptionally wealthy, and yet, many still find partners. This begs the question: What is their secret?

The Psychology Behind Attraction: More Than Just Wealth

Contrary to popular belief, wealth is not the sole factor that makes a man desirable. One of the key traits that women find attractive is a man's perceived unavailability. This might sound counterintuitive, but there's a fascinating psychology at play here.

The Allure of Unavailability

The concept of unavailability can take many forms. It might mean someone who is emotionally distant, already in a relationship or seems out of reach for various reasons. But why would anyone be attracted to someone who isn't fully accessible?

Scarcity Principle and Perceived Value

One explanation lies in the scarcity principle, which suggests that people value what is less available. When something is scarce, it appears more valuable. In the context of relationships, an unavailable person can seem more desirable because they are not easily attainable. The challenge and excitement that come with scarcity can be incredibly alluring. Humans often seek excitement and challenge, and pursuing someone unavailable can feel like an adventurous quest, providing a sense of thrill and accomplishment.

The Desire for Validation and Idealisation

Furthermore, the attraction to unavailable individuals can be rooted in the desire for validation and self-esteem. Being chosen by someone hard to get can give a significant ego boost, affirming one's worth and attractiveness. The more complex the conquest, the higher the perceived value of the reward, which, in this case, is the attention or affection of the unavailable person.

There's also an element of fantasy and idealisation involved. When someone is unavailable, projecting and idealising fantasies is more accessible. Without full access, people fill in the gaps with their imagination, often creating an idealised version of the person. This idealisation can be powerful and intoxicating.

Avoidance of Commitment

For some, being attracted to unavailable people is a subconscious way to avoid commitment. If someone is already in a relationship or emotionally distant, there's a built-in excuse for why a deeper connection cannot be formed with the person. This can appeal to individuals who fear vulnerability or are unprepared for a serious relationship.

Mastering the Art of Unavailability

Recognising these dynamics, it becomes clear why being less available can be a man's superpower in attraction. When a man is unavailable, it can increase his perceived value. By not always being accessible, a man signals that his time and attention are valuable, making him appear more desirable and intriguing.

Maintaining Mystery and Independence

Another benefit of being less available is maintaining an air of mystery and enigma. Mystery is a powerful attractor because it piques curiosity and keeps people engaged. When everything about a person isn't laid out on the table from the beginning, it leaves room for imagination and keeps interest alive.

The Role of Confidence and Boundaries

Confidence and independence also play a significant role. When a man is not constantly seeking attention, it shows he is self-sufficient and confident in his life. This independence can be beautiful, demonstrating that he doesn't rely on others for happiness or fulfilment.

Setting boundaries is another aspect of being less available that can enhance a man's attractiveness. It shows that he values his space and time, encouraging mutual respect and a balanced relationship dynamic. By avoiding neediness and demonstrating self-respect, a man can be seen as high value, making him more appealing to potential partners.

Practical Steps to Master Unavailability

However, being unavailable doesn't mean neglecting or ignoring a partner. It's about maintaining independence and cultivating self-respect while ensuring a balanced relationship dynamic. Here are some practical steps to master being unavailable in a healthy and attractive way:

Cultivate Your Interests and Hobbies

Personal interests make you more exciting and signal that you have a fulfilling life outside the relationship. Dedicate specific times to pursue these interests, whether sports, music, art, or any other activity that brings you joy.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries ensure that both partners respect each other's personal space and time. If you've planned time for yourself, stick to it. It shows that you value your own commitments as much as you do hers.

Focus on Your Goals and Ambitions

A man with goals and ambitions is attractive because it demonstrates drive and purpose. Allocate time to work towards your personal and professional goals. This means taking time away from your partner to focus on work, study, or personal projects. Keeping your partner informed about your ambitions and progress helps her understand and appreciate your commitment to your goals.

Maintain a Robust Social Life

Having an active social life indicates that you're well-rounded and not solely dependent on your partner for companionship and fulfilment. Regularly plan to hang out with friends and family to keep your social circle active and prevent over-reliance on your partner.

Practice Self-Care and Personal Development

Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally makes you a better person and a more attractive individual. Incorporate exercise, eat healthily, and invest in personal development through workshops, courses, or self-study.

Be Selectively Available

Being selectively available means being present and attentive during important moments while maintaining independence during less critical times. Focus on making time with your partner high-quality, being fully present, and engaging in meaningful interactions.

Build Anticipation and Excitement

Anticipation keeps the relationship exciting and prevents it from becoming stale. Occasionally, surprise your partner with spontaneous plans or thoughtful gestures. Don't reveal every detail of your day-to-day life, leaving some room for discovery and discussion later.

Balance and Authenticity in Relationships

In conclusion, while unavailability can sometimes be a strategic advantage, striking a balance is essential. Authenticity, respect, and clear communication should always be at the core of your relationship strategy. The goal is not to play games but to encourage positive behaviours and build meaningful connections. By understanding these dynamics, any man can enhance his desirability and create a fulfilling and balanced relationship.

So, the next time you wonder why some men seem to effortlessly captivate women, remember that it's not just about wealth. Sometimes, the key lies in the art of being strategically unavailable, maintaining your interests, and building a life that is rich in experiences and personal fulfilment.

EmpowermentManhoodMasculinity

About the Creator

The Breakdown

We breakdown things for men to become better versions of themselves

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