"I Don't Need Another Daughter!"

This story is based on real events that happened in the 1970s in the Soviet Union, before use of the ultrasound became common for pregnancies.

***

"You came here to do what???" Tatiana asked her husband's identical twin incredulously.

"To adopt your baby," Pavel responded, swaying awkwardly from one foot to another as he and his wife were standing in the small office of the maternity hospital’s chief doctor in front of their sister-in-law. Tatiana was sitting on a hard chair near the doctor’s desk. Visitors were not allowed in the maternity hospital, but in this case the doctor was sympathetic and even left the room while they were having this tense conversation.

Tatiana shifted to the other side of her buttocks, holding the flowers they brought and grimacing in pain, trying to find a more comfortable position. Just the day before, she gave birth to a healthy baby girl weighing 10.8 lb (4.9kg) at 22 in (56 cm) of length that nearly "tore her apart," as the assisting nurse said, due to the size that by today's standards would be categorized as "macrosomic."

"What? Why?" Tatiana still couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"We were sure you'd agreed. We've prepared all the documents, to make it easier," Pavel's wife Elena said, holding a paper folder and blushing with either embarrassment or discomfort, or both. "All we need is your signature."

"Why would I want to give up my baby, after I carried her for nine months in my belly?" Tatiana asked, careful not to offend them and trying to make sense of the situation. She wanted to add, "And after I went through this violently painful, albeit short three-hour labor?" but decided to spare them the details.

Tatiana wished her husband were there to ask him what was going on. But he was most probably "celebrating" the birth of his second daughter with his buddies, drunk out of his mind. She was ashamed for him, especially seeing how all other women's husbands hung out impatiently outside in anticipation, despite the bitter February cold, and jumped for joy, yelling their wives' names through the windows and asking to show their newborns.

"Boris said you both decided that if it's another daughter you'd give her to us because... you know... you both wanted a son and to us the baby's gender doesn't make any difference," Pavel tried to explain.

Tatiana was speechless. She knew that her husband's twin was infertile. Apparently, it is quite common with the identical twins that one of them can't have children. She was very sympathetic with their multiple attempts to get pregnant before the verdict became final. Just like with many other couples, the doctors tested and treated Elena for several years before they figured out it was Pavel who was infertile. They recently started discussing adoption and Tatiana was in the loop on those conversations. Not in her wildest dreams could she imagine that her husband would suggest they should adopt her baby. Without even discussing it with her!

"Well, the gender doesn't matter to me either. It's my daughter and I'll love her just as much as I love my first born," Tatiana responded quietly, trying hard not to blow up at them. Their behavior suggested that they honestly believed she had agreed to the adoption. After all, they made a 12-hour train ride for this and were happy and enthusiastic when they came.

Tatiana felt a strong urge to call her husband and tell him everything she thought of his stunt. Instead, she simply said, "I'm sorry you came all this way for nothing, but I would like to talk about this with Boris. I just can't even imagine what possessed him to suggest this..."

"We are so sorry," they both said, finally realizing what was going on. "He told us you were fully on board. We were surprised, to say the least, but very happy," Pavel added as Elena's eyes welled up with tears of a broken dream. They were ready to leave.

"Please bring him here tomorrow," Tatiana suggested. "I would like to look him in the eye and ask how he could do this to all of us. He hasn't come here to see us yet. We can talk about it together tomorrow."

They nodded reluctantly and left. No one showed up next day.

***

Tatiana was discharged from the hospital with her newborn daughter three days later. Her husband never called or came to the hospital, so she took a taxi home. All this time, she couldn't stop thinking about the adoption debacle and what she would say to Boris when she'd see him. She was glad she'd sent her three-year-old daughter to her parents' because she was pretty sure she'd find her husband drunk at home. In her mind, Tatiana was already filing for the divorce.

When she entered their apartment, she was hit by the stench of vodka, sweat and vomit. There were empty bottles, trash, and dirty dishes everywhere in the living room and kitchen. Boris was sleeping on the sofa, wearing only his boxers, drunk snoring, drooling, and snorting.

Tatiana went to the bedroom and put the baby into the crib. Then she sat in an armchair across from her husband and looked around. She had an urge to break down and cry but decided to be strong for her daughter's and her own sake. Boris was not a good supportive husband for her even on the best day, but this was too much.

She went into the kitchen and started cleaning. Her parents were supposed to come the next day, to bring her toddler home. Tatiana didn't want them to see her home like this. Her parents suspected there were cracks in the marriage but she still didn't want to upset them.

Boris woke up, probably from the sound of clanking dishes. Or maybe he just got hungry. He entered the kitchen and went straight to the fridge, looking for food.

Tatiana turned around to face him and he immediately launched into a verbal attack, "How could you do this?"

"Do what?" she asked, trying to keep her composure.

"Refuse my brother's request to adopt this baby? You know they need it more than we do!"

"Do you even hear yourself? 'This baby'? It's our baby!"

"I never wanted it," he said, trying to stabilize his hungover body against the wall. Tatiana was suddenly overwhelmed by the feeling of disgust. "I don't need another daughter. The guys at work are already calling me the X-chromosome factory and a daughter machine."

"Are you kidding me? I don't care what your drinking buddies tease you."

"Well, I do. A man must make a boy, an heir. I'd told you that if it's a girl again I don't need it."

"It? This is our daughter, not a toy! You can't just give her away or up for adoption."

"I can, if it's to my own brother! How could you be so rude to them? They were so upset and left right away, without even spending the night!"

Tatiana couldn't believe her ears. Her blood started to boil but she tried to keep her voice down, not to wake up the baby. She hissed, "Don't even try to turn this on me! You decided everything behind my back and told them to come without even telling me anything! They came with the paperwork ready!"

"Because I knew you'd say no to me! I thought you wouldn't have the guts to say no to them in their face, after all they've gone through trying to get a baby!"

"You didn't even have the guts to come with them to the hospital! What were you doing, drinking with your buddies or fucking some whores?"

"None of your business! I had the right to drink my sorrows away after I called the hospital and they told me you had another daughter!"

"Sorrows? Sorrows? What's your sorrow? I was the one who carried her for nine months and gave birth to her! You never helped me with anything, not even carrying groceries or preparing anything for her!"

"It's a wife's responsibility! I am a bread earner, not your helper! I will never be your doormat!"

"Just listen to yourself! Other husbands help their wives, especially when they get this big..."

"Big?" Boris chuckled. "You were huge! Your belly was so big my mother and all our neighbors wondered if you were having twins! Runs in the family, you know..."

Tatiana was stunned by this sudden revelation. She loved her mother-in-law and always protected her from Boris’ attacks and attempts to diminish her. "Oh God, no! Do not even drag your mother into this! What exactly did she say?"

"Nothing, she just suggested that if you were having twins we could give one baby to Pavel..."

"Do not lie to me! The woman who raised the two of you on her own after the war that had claimed her husband would never say something like this! Was it one of your drinking buds? I know you'd not be able to come up with this on your own!"

"Well, I did. When my mother suggested you might be having twins, I said that we'd give the baby to Pavel if it's a girl, twin or not!" Boris was increasing his voice volume and now was shrieking, "See, I can come up with great ideas on my own! I’m smart!"

"And now you woke up the baby," Tatiana said as she heard her daughter cry. She went to the bedroom and closed the door behind her.

***

When Tatiana saw her mother-in-law, the latter confirmed she'd never suggested adoption and it was Boris’ idea all along. She also confessed that she always felt bad for Tatiana because she'd "ended up with the wrong twin, the one who loved no one but himself" and she deserved better, like the selfless and caring one - Pavel. But then she added that Tatiana wouldn't have been blessed with children.

Pavel and Elena proceeded with legal adoption and took in two little girls in the next two years. The girls flourished in the happy family.

Tatiana's marriage went downhill quickly. When their youngest daughter was about six months, Boris went on a business trip and never came back. They were divorced by a court decision in his absentia a year after he left. Tatiana filed for child support and every 2-3 months she'd receive a letter that her husband was located in some remote town of the Soviet Union and that the child support would start to be drawn from his next month's paycheck. Boris then would just move to another town. By the time their oldest daughter turned 16, Tatiana had a whole stack of official letters stating that the child support would be taken out of his next salary.

About 15 years later, one of the many twins’ cousins was passing by Tatiana's town and stopped to pay a visit. She told Tatiana that Pavel had died in a drowning accident and Boris appropriated his identity by stealing his documents at the funeral. Boris died of liver cirrhosis, a common cause of death in many chronic alcoholics, several years later.

***

"Why have I published this story in the Men Community?" the reader might wonder. - Because I am genuinely interested in men's opinion on how and why the identical twins could turn out so different, like black and white. How did one become a narcissist, given that their widowed mother loved them equally well, they went to the same school and grew up in the same conditions and circumstances?