A Little Kindness Goes A Long Long Way

Way back in 2000, with a solid two-year background in commission-based, cold-call advertising sales behind me, I decided I'd had enough of staying in hotels three days every single week, always in a different city. Yes, I was good at it and made a great deal of money, but I was tired of always being away from home. And there is only so much of five-star hotels you can take. I sorely missed being able to leave work and kick back my feet in my own home sweet home. So I got a job in new car sales at a Fiat and Alfa Romeo Dealership.

On my very first day, I had no idea how the dealership operated, but I knew sales very well indeed, I had learned from one of the best. The secret to being successful in any sales is by using what is called relationship sales. What this basically means is that you try to relate to your potential customer's needs and desires. And that means spending time with them asking questions and listening very carefully to their answers. You also have to use a variety of techniques to do with closing a deal, more of which I will write about in a separate story.

At about ten thirty in the morning a very old, scruffy-looking man wandered aimlessly into the showroom. As he shambled his way into the Fiat side of the dealership, I followed him and politely asked if he needed any help. He told me that he already had an almost new car, which he had bought from the dealership six months previous. Then he started to ask me questions about some of the new models we had on show.

I spent about fifteen minutes with him and then offered to get him a coffee, which he accepted. A few minutes later, coffee in hand, we sat down on a showroom sofa and started to chat. Apart from his lack of sartorial elegance, there was one thing about him that struck me full in the face. By the smell of it, he was incontinent. Not to put too fine a point on it, he stank to high heaven of urine. However, off-putting as the stench was, I decided to stay with him and chat for a while.

The man actually spoke quite eloquently as he told me about his life history. He had been a fighter pilot in the second world war. And he told all about the planes and sorties he had flown. He also told me quite a bit about his personal life. His wife had long since passed away and all he had left was a daughter who did not want to have much to do with him. I felt deeply sorry for him, to be abandoned in such a way. And I guess, due to his smell of incontinence, it wasn't easy to make new friends. And so I listened, a lot more than any of the younger sales whizz kids would have done.

I sensed that he was lonely and all he really wanted was for somebody to listen to him. He just wanted an attentive ear and a cuddle. As time passed, I lost track of what time it was and forgot all about selling a car. I did notice us getting what appeared to be some disapproving looks from my colleagues, but I just chose to ignore it. Before long it was lunch time and I asked if he would like to go for a drive and perhaps a bite to eat some where. He accepted the drive, but he declined lunch. So, I asked him to choose a car to go out in and he was quite taken with a very nice brand new Fiat in a very cool sky blue Fiat sedan.

We were out for about half an hour, whizzing around some country lanes and having a wonderful time. Then we headed back to the showroom where I put the car back in place on the showroom floor. I thought that was the end of it and was about to bid him goodbye when he said

"You know Ralph, you've been ever so nice to me today. A lot of these guys wouldn't give me the time of day. But you've listened very intently to all my meandering stories without a complaint. And I know I have a problem with how I smell. But you never said a word about that.

Ok, I'm going to buy that lovely new car you very kindly took me out in, please. Can you get the paperwork ready and tell me how much I have to pay you? Then if we can agree on a day I can come to collect it, and I will out of your way."

The other salesmen were not best pleased with the amount of time I had spent with the old man and complained to the Sales Manager. He told them to shut up and to learn from what I had done. He told them...

"If Ralph does that every single day and sells me a car at the end of it, that will be three times more cars a month than any of you lot sell for me. So deal with it."

What I re-learned from that first day was the importance of humility, not just in sales, but in life. One day it may well be my turn to be in such a situation, and I asked myself, how would I like to be treated? It mattered not that the man had bought a car, it was something beyond that. It was about showing an elderly person in need some care and kindness, a listening ear so that he could validate himself in a world where far too often, we simply do not care to show any interest in validating anybody except ourselves.

About a week later the old man came in to collect his new car, which he paid for in cash. Then off he went as happy as a sandboy. About six months later the man's daughter came into the dealership in the car and asked if we would buy it back as her father has passed away. I felt very sad to hear of his demise, but I was even more glad that I had helped to make what was at least one of his last days a happy one.