7 Masculine Traits That Are Slowly Going Into Extinction

There was a time, not too long ago, when the idea of a man in our African communities was carved with honour, calm, and a deep sense of responsibility. Masculinity wasn’t loud—it was steady. It wasn’t in the biceps, it was in the backbone. Our fathers and grandfathers weren’t perfect, but many of them held certain values that stood taller than any skyscraper.

These weren’t traits you saw at first glance. They were often silent—passed on by watching, by listening, by the beat of footsteps behind a father heading to the farm, or the sound of your uncle adjusting his radio while fixing the gate.

Today, in the chaos of modern living, screens, and endless distractions, many of these traits are slowly slipping into extinction. And with them, we risk losing not just a way of being, but a way of belonging.

Here are 7 masculine traits that are disappearing before our eyes:

1. Patience: Back in the day, our fathers would sit quietly for hours waiting for fish to bite or a visitor to arrive. They understood that some things took time. A man did not rush his words or his actions.

Now, with instant messaging and fast food, patience is becoming rare. Men are taught to chase fast results, quick money, instant respect. But the real work—building a family, raising children, earning trust—still takes time. True patience is no longer taught, and fewer men are willing to wait for what truly matters.

2. Emotional Restraint: This isn’t the same as emotional suppression. Our elders felt deeply, but they knew when to speak and when to hold their tongue. They didn't curse at every inconvenience or raise their voice to prove strength.

In today’s world, emotion is either exaggerated for attention or buried in silence. Balance is missing. Restraint used to mean dignity. Now, it’s mistaken for weakness. Yet, a man who can govern himself in times of chaos is still a king.

3. Integrity: There was a time when a man’s word was his bond. If Baba Musa said he’d pay you next week, you didn’t need a signature or a lawyer. You trusted his chest, not his cheque.

But these days, lies wear perfume. A man will borrow money with a smile and vanish with the wind. Promises are thrown around like party rice. Integrity is fading. And with it, trust between men, families, and communities.

4. Silent Sacrifices: Our fathers would give up meat so we could have more. They’d wear torn slippers and send us to school. They bore pain like bricks on their shoulders and rarely asked for applause.

Today, many men want credit for everything they do. If they pay school fees, they post it online. If they wash dishes, they want a parade. But the strength of a man often lies in what he does quietly, without needing the world to clap.

5. Craftsmanship: Many African men were artisans—blacksmiths, cobblers, carpenters. Their hands told stories. They built, they fixed, they created. Even if they weren’t rich, their work gave them dignity.

Now, everyone wants a laptop and an office. The pride in skilled handwork is dying. Boys look down on learning a trade, yet complain about joblessness. A man who can make something from nothing is becoming rare.

6. Community Leadership: In the old ways, the men of the village didn’t just lead their homes, they led their communities. They settled disputes, protected the weak, and gave advice with wisdom. Today, many men don’t even know their neighbour’s name. Leadership has been traded for isolation. But a man’s strength was never just for himself; it was for his people too.

7. Reverence for Elders and Ancestry. When an elder entered a room, men would stand. Names were spoken with care. Proverbs carried more power than shouts. We honoured those before us, and that honour shaped how we saw ourselves.

But today, the wisdom of the grey head is mocked. Youth feel they know everything. Ancestral ways are labelled "old school." Yet without roots, even the strongest tree falls.

If we are to raise better sons, build better homes, and protect what is left of our culture, we must call these traits back from the edge of extinction.

Not all that is old is outdated. Not all that is quiet is weak. Some of these fading traits are the very bones of the African man. And if we forget them, we risk forgetting ourselves.