The Day My Surrogate Mother Crashed My Wedding

I always hear about these 'horror wedding stories' that young singles circulate among their friends. It usually involves the bridesmaids sleeping with the groom or the best man fathering the bride's honeymoon baby. My fiance and I were level-headed, we weren't alcoholics or wild partiers. We both made sure that everyone in our wedding party would have scruples and not be crazy enough to do anything stupid. They all passed the normalcy test. So we felt that we would have a memorable wedding but not too memorable for our wedding guests to gossip about our wedding for years to come. But what happened at my wedding, I could never imagine happening anywhere to anyone. Guess what? It happened to me.

As for June weddings, the weather was perfect. Our wedding day was sunny with a few puffy clouds above us, warm and dry with a soft westerly breeze. My groomsmen were at my house laughing and celebrating. It's a tradition that each groomsman takes part in dressing the groom. I never was ever closer to my friends than at that moment before the wedding.

Jack handed me my black paisley suspenders. Jack was my college roommate and convinced me to approach Sid and start talking to her. I feared that she would ignore me or even worse insult me. She didn't. If it wasn't for Jack, I would have never found the girl of my dreams.

Joey helped me fasten my gold cufflinks to both of my french cuffs. Joey was my best friend since second grade. We did everything together. It started by playing on the same soccer team for six years. We were both forwards on the team and we cheered each other when we scored a goal. He always brought out the best in me. When I first asked Sid out, I wanted Joey and his girlfriend to come also, sort of as a double date. I was nervous as all hell, and Joey had a calming effect on me. Joey had a buzz-cut marine look to him; with stern brown eyes. He projected this serious, marine-look persona. But when there was an awkward moment in the conversation, then Joey interjected one of his quirky stories that made the whole table laugh. He kept a straight face even when we were dying with laughter. We would be laughing, and he would always say, "Hey why are you laughing, That wasn't funny". His straight face made us laugh even louder.

And as we were laughing, I couldn't help staring at her. Sid would smile and laugh so heartedly; a strand of her long blonde hair would bounce downward and across her deep sapphire blue eyes. She would finger the strand away from her face. Everything about her mesmerized me. Gosh, I wanted to stare at her all night. She probably thought I was a goof. But I couldn't help myself. She was that beautiful.

Andrew helped me don my Tuxedo jacket. Andrew was a character too. He was really Sid's friend from high school. He was my friend too. We joined the same fraternity, and we were in the same frat class. Through initiation, we became the best of friends. He invited Sid to the Delta's fall social. The fall social was intended for recruiting frat brothers. This was the second time I met Sid, but the first time I met Andrew. Even though Andrew was a guest and was interested in joining the frat, he acted as if he was the host. He stepped behind the bar, passing out the shots to all the pretty young girls. He even knew how to tap the keg. By the end of the evening, he was mixing the music for the frat party. Everyone thought he was a Delt-Sig; he even fooled me.

In between bartending and mixing music, Sid started to ask about me. Sid shot off question after question at Andrew. "Is he seeing anyone? Is he a jerk? Is he a nice boy? Is he gay? Do you think he is a loser? Don’t you think he’s gorgeous? What’s wrong with him?"

Andrew came over and started talking to me. He had a charming way of initiating small talk. After about five minutes, I was telling him my whole life story, my major, my career goals, etc. He knew everything about me including my GPA and my SAT score, all that and more within twenty minutes of talking. After the party, Andrew confided to me that Sid was interested in me.

Andrew was meant to be in sales because he was never at a loss praising me to her. I asked him, why he did it. He responded," I just had a good feeling about you, and I knew you were both perfect for each other. Your SAT scores matched."

An hour before the wedding, we all climbed into the minivan, and my parents drove us to the church. It felt surreal because it reminded me of when my parents drove my buddies and me to all the various soccer games when I was just a kid. As I eyed my mother from the back through the rearview mirror, she was getting misty-eyed over the fact that her only child was getting married. Emotions overcame me; I wanted to climb out of my chair and give my mother the most heartfelt hug. Instead, I heard myself saying out loud, "Mom, Don't tell Sid, but you are the woman I love the most in this world." She broke down and started crying. At that moment, my heart melted, and I began to cry. I never, ever in my life had cried before.

We arrived at the church a half hour before the ceremony. We made a bee-line to the front of the altar. We stood in front, fidgeting in front of the Church as the guests slowly filled the empty pews. One elderly lady in a beige long evening dress caught my attention as she waved to me. She had her hair coiffured up into a matching beige hat. A netted veil gently fell over her eyes. I had never seen her before and figured she was one of Sid's aunts. She came from a large family and most of her family were out of town. I meekly waved back; being polite.

The church was steadily filling to capacity. Sid and I had invited 250 guests for the wedding; I began to worry that the church would not accommodate all that we had invited. My groomsmen were giggling and laughing. Obviously, they were anticipating the drinking and dancing that will take place at the reception. I was worried if everything would go as planned. All I could think about was did we have seating assignments for all our guests. Did we forget anybody? Sid and I checked the list several times over. But no worries, Sid arranged had arranged extra seating at a few tables and made arrangements to open up an extra table for the unplanned family that showed up without responding to our invite. one thing I loved about Sid, was her attention to details and contingencies; I could never be that good.

The time had come and my groomsmen proceeded back to the church entrance. The organists played the wedding march and I stood alone waiting for my beautiful Sid. I had expected my mother-in-law to be escorted down the aisle. To my surprise, the last in the beige dress boldly walked in step to the wedding march. At first, I thought it was probably a crazy aunt from Sid's side of the family. I probably hadn't heard her story. But for her to boldly crash the wedding march, I couldn't wait to hear the story. I smiled a little because I knew it would be a doozy of a story.

The 'Crazy Aunt' walked down the aisle. I expected her to sit on the bride's side of the aisle. Instead, she sat on the groom's side, directly in front of me. She stared at me with a sweet smile and tears in her eyes. She pulled a tissue to soak up her tears. She seemed so sweet sitting there. I tried to imagine, her story. I imagined that she may have recently lost a son and I reminded her of him. At that moment, my gaze turned to my mother-in-law walking down the aisle by Sid's brother, Nick. Nick sported a neon purple hairdo. He escorted her to the front pew to the bride's side. Nick turned around and stood next to me.

I gently leaned toward Nick and couldn't wait to ask. "Hey Nick, who is this lady in front of us?"

"Hell if I know, I thought she was from your side. She is sitting on the groom's side." was Nick's reply.

"I have never seen her in my life," I responded.

"She may be the black sheep of the family, someone that no one wants to talk about. Was she released from prison, or something?" was Nick's reply. Nick had a gothic almost morbid view of the world. He would always find faults with the world. I definitely never saw her before.

It felt surreal seeing my parents walk down the aisle together. Ironically, this was the same church where they were wed. It's weird how monumental moments in our lives come in a full circle. First, my parents and now Sid and I. My parents proceeded down the aisle and sat in the front row. My parents sat tightly at the far end of the pew, away from the lady in the beige dress. My mother was very cold to the 'Crazy Aunt', and she began to furiously whisper in my father's ear. I could see the look of horror in his eyes as his jaw dropped in shock. He bent over to take another look at the lady in the middle of the front pew. I saw my father, silently mouth the word, "F#&K". Who was this 'Crazy Aunt'?

The wedding march stopped and the bridal march played throughout the church. I gazed down the aisle and I saw Sidney, veiled in her white satin wedding gown. I was lost in time at that moment. Nothing mattered except her. I couldn't believe it. I was marrying the most beautiful woman in the world. She walked gracefully down the aisle alongside her father. And in a few moments, we would be standing side by side. I couldn't wait to touch her, to hold her hand. There was no doubt in my mind, I wanted to marry her.

That moment onward was a dream. The priest talked but my eyes were locked on my bride. She was stunning, perfect like the girl of my dream…no, she was the girl in my dream. The priest talked and I half paid attention to him. I wanted to soak in all of Sidney. The moment seemed so short. I heard the priest say, "Do you, Phillip Andrew take Sidney to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day onward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part.'

In an instant, I uttered, "I Do."

"Do you Sidney, take Phillip Andrew as your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day onward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part.'?"

Then I heard the most beautiful words my Sidney has ever said to me, "I Do."

"Phillip Andrew and Sidney have chosen rings to symbolize their unending love for each other. As you place this ring on Sidney's finger, please repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed, now and forever."

As I said my vow to Sid, I slipped our wedding ring on her finger, and she slipped our wedding ring on mine.

"With the Grace of God bestowed upon me, I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride."

I leaned over her and lifted her veil. I smiled as I looked deep into her eyes and gave her a long and tender kiss. It was as if I was kissing an angel. I wanted more. But kisses from angels are never enough, always wanting more. I heard cheers in the background and I felt my back slapped by my groomsmen. It felt like heaven at that moment. And Sidney was now with me, always.

I took my bride by the hand and walked down the aisle. Everyone was smiling at us, cheering as we walked toward the church exit. I felt ecstatic. What great adventures lie ahead, God only knows. But no matter, I had my Sid at my side.

I waited for the bridal party to come down the aisle as we formed the greeting line outside the Church. I saw my father and mother in the distance with long faces. All of a sudden, the 'Crazy Aunt' pulled my face down and gave me a big kiss, and muttered "My boy, my little baby boy I never imagined I would see you on your wedding day." She instantly grabbed Sidney and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I turned to my parents for some explanation but saw in their faces despair. I asked my father, "Who was that woman, do we know her?'

"Phillip, I need to tell you something. Find me when you are done greeting your guests." My father took his position at the greeting line with my mother and left me in the dark.

After greeting all of our guests, Sid and I approached my parents outside the church. "Dad, what's going on? Who is that lady? Do we know her? Is she related to us?"

I saw my father's face go in contortions. It seemed to be changing from shock, to despair, then anguish and back again. It made me more confused.

I finally blurted out, "What is going on, out with it."

"Son, we love you very much. I don't know how she found out. She was never supposed to be here."

"Dad, who is she?" I never raised my voice to my parents but I was getting frustrated with not having my questions answered.

My mother walked up to me and held both of my hands in hers. She looked straight into my eyes and said, "She was the woman who gave birth to you."

"I'm adopted. Why didn't you tell me? And I find out now, on my wedding day?

"No, no, Phillip, you are not adopted. You are definitely our son, both of us." My father stopped there and let out a deep sigh. He came over to me and gave me a big hug and grabbed me by the shoulders and looked straight at me. "You are genetically our son, both mine and your mom's, but we needed some help. We paid that lady to carry you until you were born. Phillip that was your surrogate mother."

I couldn't believe it. I was having a moment; the kind where I can't believe this is happening to me. This came out of nowhere. No foreboding, no hints, totally out of left field. I was angry, shocked, and confused. It was too much for me to take in. I was ill-prepared to handle it. I became numb. Sid brought me back to reality and reminded me that we had to take wedding photos in the Church and at the Botanical Garden before the reception. I walked away with Sid in a daze, trying to make sense of it all. I couldn't. I walked back into the Church to the photographer's beckoning and proceeded to take our wedding photos. I tried to put on a happy face for the camera.

I needed those two hours before the reception to gather myself. Now that I know who she is. What do I do? Do I call her mom, too? I don't even know her.

"Sid, I didn't expect this. My surrogate mom is going to be at the reception," I confessed to Sidney in our limo drive from the botanical garden to the reception." Where is she going to sit?"

"Don't worry we will put her at the corner table. It's filled with out-of-town guests." Sid confidently answered. We won't even notice her. Toward the end of the evening, when the reception is almost over. We will go to her and be polite, make small talk, and be done."

"What if she wants our phone number or address?" I instinctively asked.

"Don't know, we just have to wing it," Sid answered as she threw up her hands. "Who knows, she may be a nice lady, Phillip. She may be alone and doesn't have any kids of her own. You may be all that she has left in this world."

Sid was right, I may be freaking out over nothing. She may be a lonely old woman.

Sid grabbed my hand and held it close to her heart. She looked straight at me and said, "Phillip, it's our day, let's not ruin the most important day of our lives. It's our wedding day, once it's over, it's over. Let's enjoy ourselves."

I leaned over and kissed her, "You are so right, I am not letting anyone or anything ruin this day for us."

We finally reached our reception venue. It was an old bank building from the roaring 20s that was refurbished into a banquet facility. With its tall ceilings and vintage chandeliers, it had a Gatsby feel to it. Sid and I fell in love with the venue when we first saw it; we booked the date before leaving.

We arrived at the reception ten minutes before the serving of the meal. Our DJ also served as master of ceremony and gathered the bridal party in the foyer of the grand ballroom. We all gathered around, and the DJ placed us in order of the announcement. In the foyer, standing alone, stood my surrogate mother. She had a tears in her eyes. Something in me told me, I had to talk to her.

"Sid, I know I'm going to probably regret it, but I need to talk to her now. Tell the DJ there will be a slight delay in bridal party introductions."

I walked up to the lady in beige and asked her if she wouldn't mind stepping outside for a minute to talk. She nodded. I offered my arm and she quickly grabbed hold of it, as we proceeded outside.

It was turning to dusk and the sky had that beautiful auburn glow. I walked over to a bench and we sat together. I didn't know how to begin, and I tried to gather my thoughts when she started to talk.

"I know this is not what you were expecting. But I couldn't help myself." My surrogate mother began to sob and it took a moment for her to find her composure and continue to speak. "I was first pregnant with you. I was idealistic and free-spirited, out of college, depressed, lonely, and broke. A basket case. All my friends were excited about graduating and moving on with their careers and lives. I was at a low point in my life after college. It started out fine then crumbled before my eyes. I had a great job lined up but gave up on it because my boyfriend wanted me to be with him in his new job in New York City. Then my boyfriend dumped me three weeks before graduation. Now I was scrambling to find a job, but they all were gone. I was alone, broke, and I felt like I was used and betrayed. I even thought about killing myself, that's how low I was. I wanted to do something good. Then I heard about being a surrogate mother. I thought that I at least do something good for someone else. The money was nothing to laugh about and I was bringing a beautiful baby to a loving couple. And carrying a baby made me feel better about myself. Somehow I had a purpose in life. I thought it was a win-win for everyone."

"Everything got better, once I started carrying you inside me. I had a better perspective on life. I began to focus more on you, my baby, than on my problems. I won't lie. It was hard giving you up, but deep down you didn't belong to me."

I began to feel sorry for her. I instinctively put my arm around her and gave her a hug. She looked up and continued her story. "After having you, life seemed to turn around. I met another guy who was wonderful and we later were married. After two years into our marriage, we had a baby girl, her name was Sidney." She started to cry again and I gave her another hug and allowed her some time to compose herself. "Everything went well. Tom my husband was a wonderful man and father. He brought me red roses on every anniversary. He was so good." She began to search into her beige handbag and drew out a couple of tissue and wiped her tears away.

"Our daughter, Sidney started having health problems in high school. She started to lose weight, and her appetite was gone. At first, I thought she was getting peer pressure to lose weight or she was having anorexia. I started to yell at her a few times, telling her to eat. It turned out she had cancer, pancreatic cancer. She left us a month before her graduation. It surprised us both. Then Tom had some chest pains over the summer. I thought it was anxiety and attributed it to the loss of our daughter. Well, he left two months after Sidney. Now, I'm all alone." She began to cry next to me, and I didn't know what to do. I just sat there hugged her, and listened.

"You probably think I'm crazy, but I couldn't help myself. Today is Sidney's birthday. When I learned that you were marrying a girl named Sidney on her birthday, something compelled me to come. I thought it was some kind of omen or twist of fate. I had to come to the wedding. But I see I upset your parents, and most of all you." She stood up and was looking down at me with a fondness that mothers have for their children. She opened up her purse and drew out a wedding envelope and handed it to me.

"Here is a little something from me. It's not much, but I want you and Sidney to have it." She handed me the envelope, kissed me on my forehead, and turned to walk away.

I couldn't let her walk away. I felt drawn to her, and without thinking, I said, "Mom, wait."

She turned around and walked up to me and wrapped her arms around me.

I held out my arm and walked her back to the foyer. I told Sidney everything that happened outside with my surrogate mother. Sidney made an extra place setting at her parent's table next to the bridal table. Phillip went up to his parents and told them about the hard life that his surrogate mother had gone through. His father was understanding, but his mother was not hot to the idea of letting her crash the wedding.

I walked up to my surrogate mother and asked her, "Mom, you never told me your name."

She smiled with joy and said, "Abigail Johnson."

"Mom, we have you sitting with Sidney's family. It's the table to the right of the bridal table with the red roses centerpiece. It's the only table with red roses."

I ran up to the DJ and informed him to add my new guest to the procession.

As I heard the DJ announce, "Ms. Abigail Johnson she is like a second mother to the groom." He hoped this would appease Abigail without instilling the ire of his mother. Too late now, the deed was done. I had hoped that people would assume that she was his old nanny or babysitter.

"And now introducing for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Phillip and Sidney Sherwood." The music was playing and we had planned to dance and skip to the head table. I saw the tears of joy in Abigail's eyes as she was standing at the reserved table. I walked around to my parent's table and I walked up to my mother and I hugged her, kissed her, and repeated the words I said a few hours ago, "Mom, you are the only woman I love the most in this world." With those words, my mother broke down and cried and gave me a long hard hug. She didn't want to let me go. The room started to applaud, then stand up and cheer. It almost became deafening. My mother let go, with tears in her eyes and I led my new bride to the head table.

As the guests were walking to the sweet table. It was time for our first dance. We danced to Sidney's favorite song. It was Sid's turn to dance with her father. I saw Sidney getting misty-eyed as she danced with her father. She no longer was daddy's little girl, but a grown woman. The next song was with my mom. I walked up to my mother and led my mom to the center of the dance floor. She started to cry again. Mom started to speak to me, "You know you are special, with a heart of gold. You didn't have to do what you did."

"I know, but she told me that carrying me, lifted her spirits. I can't turn my back on her now. She needs someone right now."

"I know, deep down I always knew you were special. Go on finish the dance with her. I’ll finish the dance with your father. It's alright with me"

I walked over to Sidney's table with the red roses. My eyes caught her eyes and she smiled with joy and excitement like any mother would at their little boy's wedding.

I walked around and offered my hand. She took it and we walked onto the dance floor. We danced. I never realized how much I lifted her spirits until I saw the twinkle in those eyes. She looked up and smiled without a care in the world. It made me misty-eyed.