Speak up about your needs

I remember that there was a time in my adolescence when I was particularly sensitive, I hated it when my parents entered my room without my consent, hated it when they touched everything I had, and hated it even more when they did things for me.

Even hate to what extent? When I came home from school and found that my room had been cleaned up and many things had been repositioned, I would also get inexplicably angry.

During that time, the relationship between my parents and I could be said to have fallen to a freezing point, I blame my parents do not understand me, always repeatedly offending my forbidden place, but in fact, at that time even I could not understand why I was so furious.

Now, when I think back on that time, I slowly begin to understand why I behaved in such a perverse way back then.

Generally speaking, we call this a rebellious period, as if it is a symptom unique to adolescents, at that time my parents, including me, more or less understand this, so there are many many misunderstandings and conflicts.

This is not the so-called rebellious period, but "I", as a person, for the first time in the thought of maturity, "I" is no longer a child, there is a sense of territory, even if it is the parents and relatives, I also need them to keep a certain distance from me, fully So, this is the essence of the so-called rebellious period.

To put it bluntly, I was not a white paper with no privacy, even if my privacy was ridiculous to my parents who raised me, saw my bare bottom, and gave me everything, but to me at the time, it was incredibly important.

Some people may say, you are a white wolf, parents are concerned about you, parents are not others you do so will chill their hearts.

But I'm sorry, I can't agree, it's not detachment, it's a sense of self-territoriality, a declaration of independence, a "sense of proportion" that adults should be conscious of in their interpersonal interactions.

It is not that the close people must be close to no distance, or even negative distance, there is distance, and what is not okay? Everyone has their secrets, who have their privacy that they do not want to show to the next person. When I was young, I was not rebellious, not to mention not young, but I wanted to fight with my parents for the "right to decide", but I did not want them to treat me as an accessory, or an object they could manipulate at will, or as a pet.

To put it bluntly, I want real respect, respect for myself as an adult, an independent individual.

The same is true of parents, no exception, not to mention the next person. But for the sense of proportion, perhaps it is close to the people but easy to ignore, so it is more likely to produce conflicts, and more difficult to find the loci afterward.

Add to that the fact that young people are too self-conscious and can't take into account others when they encounter discomfort, they will only blame others for not knowing how to introspect their lack, and the problem will only get more and more anxious and difficult to solve.

The company's main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers. Not that I deliberately want to say what she wrote in the background, it is this girl, who is a little too outgoing, too like to take out their domestic affairs and outsiders pour.

Others I do not know, but she said a lot to me, even if they do not want to listen, due to the face also having to listen.

From Xiaoping's complaints all the time, I learned about her family situation.

Xiaoping is a foreign girl, also married to the local, and her husband did not live with her mother-in-law after marriage, but after the birth of a child, because both husband and wife have work and no time to take care of the child, so the mother-in-law joined the small family.

Since the arrival of her mother-in-law, Xiaoping's complaints have not stopped: "My mother-in-law is not a good one to get along with, she is similar to the double-sided tape in the Julian mother-in-law, can like to reveal the privacy of others."

Xiaoping and her husband live a relatively free and easy life, there are some more private objects between the couple, which are placed in the drawer, and usually do use no one will open them. But Xiaoping said that since her mother-in-law came, she opened all the drawers and cleaned them all over again, and the things were re-categorized and neatly coded, afraid that Xiaoping did not know that she had come to go through them, and those intimate things were naturally treated in this way.

The company's main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the public, including the following

"The two of you are living that thing, I am also a person who has come through, and not seen, what can be bashful panic."

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be handled well, and mutual understanding should override the sense of proportion and distance, just like I did when I was young, and later I realized that even if I had my reasons, why should I be so rude and unreasonable to my parents who gave birth to me? I have not repaid them have the right to ask for so much more? Is there no better solution?

The answer is yes, in fact, as long as I speak openly about their needs, and they are honest with them, even if they do not understand, will also change, relatively, they also make appropriate psychological adjustments, and both sides adapt to each other, slowly change together, rather than asking one side, so that is the right way to promote the relationship.