Match-making

I had just finished my studies by securing scholarships twice at university level .I was a bright student throughout my academic career and was always acclaimed by my teachers, passing each year with outstanding performance always felt an honour to me.

The student life was over and it was now time to move towards practical life.I never knew that practical life would be totally different from student life or in other words it will be a totally bad experience where it will be so difficult for me to fit in.

I belong to Pakistan where females are not given rights equivalent to males, be it an employment opportunity, moving independently in society or taking any decision of life like choosing a life partner.The society is modernising but orthodox views are still prevalent at lower and middle class level.

Next phase of life after completing qualification is marriage in Pakistan as it is in any other developing country.

I have wheatish complexion with acne scars on my face which were the result of prolonged acne.I never paid much attention to it, neither did my family, as studies were my priority.

As the process of match-making started and people were invited to have a meeting with me and my family, I experienced a totally different aspect of life.

I was being rejected with derogatory remarks which was so heartbreaking for me.It was the first time I was experiencing social rejection in my life and it was a shock for me.

People would come with some fairy in their mind and seeing a girl with average looks instead was not which they expected.They even never tried to hide their facial expressions as if the person in front was not a living being.

Some of them, straight away asked for my sisters so they could choose from them whichever they would find prettier and according to their standards.

Others would quietly go home and would never contact again.It was annoying to have this session of presenting myself and seeing unhappy faces of people.

Few of them agreed, proper engagements were done and later they refused, saying we were not sure.

I was astonished at the standards of society like the qualifications, ethics and other things were meaningless.The only thing mattered was the skin tone and the well-being of the family.

It was more like doing shopping and choosing the best article at last.After a while, I came to know that the search of people never stops, they are always in search of better commodity even if they had already found theone which they like.

All this continued for almost 8 years with three engagements broken, my personality had shattered and I was unable to accept the mentality of people.I was born in the same culture but I never knew this aspect of society.

On the other side,the looks of men never mattered, my family hardly visited any family as we were not given the option to choose.We only had to accept whoever agreed for me even if I didn’t like him.

I never knew that I would fail in practical life so badly.My friends who were better-looking than me got married within a year or two because they focused on looks and grades never mattered to them.

The result of all this is that all of my friends have grown up children now but I still don’t have any child yet because I don’t meet the standards of the society required for being a marriage material if one has to go for arranged marriage.