Loves story

As Valentine’s Day falls within Black History Month, we asked Black couples to share how they celebrate Black love. Words like “joy,” “power” and “intentional” top the list of their love stories. In a mix of romantic, inspiring and empowering anecdotes, find out how these six couples are honoring their Black love.

Responses have been edited for length.

Lizzy Mathis is an entrepreneur, TV personality, founder of The Cool Mom Co. And a parenting contributor at In The Know by Yahoo. Isa Rahman is a model and the founder of Well Citizen.

We live in Los Angeles, have three kids and have been married for 12 years.

What is your “meet cute” story?

The first time we met was in passing, a quick hello on set working. A week later, I spotted him at an industry event, and he walked right past me. I nudged him and said, “I think I know you from somewhere.” He said “maybe” and kept walking. Not thinking much of it, I continued on with other conversations. Later in the evening, I noticed him eyeing me from across the room. He finally walks over, and we have a 30-minute conversation about life, family, ambitions — all the things. It was a randomly comfortable talk. At the end of the conversation, he said to me, “You’re going to be the woman I marry.” Once again, I didn’t think much of it, but we continued to see each other every day from that day on. Fast forward to our wedding day, four years later, and his mom whispered in my ear: “The night you and Isa met, he called me at 3 in the morning and told me he had just met his wife.”

What does Black love mean to you?

Everything. I’m so thankful for another human who can accept all of me: My flaws, my strengths, my history and my future. Black love comes in many forms, and whomever you love, accepting all of you is a powerful thing.

How do you and your partner celebrate Black love?

By showing love every day. Love comes in the smallest gestures and the biggest moments. Love is supporting each other’s dreams and accepting each other’s faults. Love is being encouraging and being present. We try our hardest to show up for each other in a world that may not always show up for us.

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How do you model Black love for your kids?

Family is the foundation. We work very hard at making sure our children know how much we love each other and how much we love them. We spend a lot of time together as a family and don’t shy away from disagreements or problem-solving. We want them to know that love is happy and pure, but it also requires work and dedication.

Where do you draw your Black love inspiration from?

Honestly, we draw inspiration from each other. Every relationship is so different, and you never know what another couple is going through. We know the story we are writing is unique to us.

What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?

I hope there is good food, a good rom-com and red wine involved!

We are Terrell and Jarius Joseph. We are two dads who are simply trying to change the narrative on what it means to be Black fathers. Specifically, we are redefining what marriage, parenting and family look like. We live in Atlanta, Georgia, and we are full-time content creators and LGBTQ+ advocates. We met at the age of 18 in 2011 and just celebrated 10 years together at the end of 2021.

What is your “meet cute” story?

We actually met at a haunted house as freshmen in college. We were both in relationships at the time and had no idea that we would be where we are today. Terrell is so afraid of snakes, and during the haunted house, there were some fake ones there, and he lost it! So much so that he ran up and grabbed my jacket in fear. He swears he wasn’t thinking about it when it happened, but I knew it was him flirting. We ended up connecting a few weeks later after both of our relationships ended, and the rest is history. It’s been amazing to watch each other grow up and share so many experiences together.

What does Black love mean to you?

Black love means power and strength! When we think about our culture, our ancestors and our history, we see the fierceness of our people. We see exactly what we overcame and how it sharpened us. And when two Black people come together in love and submit to that love, the possibilities are endless. In that, it is often difficult to feel supported being Black gay men. So we vowed to change the narrative that Black love can only be celebrated between a man and a woman because it’s so much more than that. Our public visibility of our love is what’s needed so that others that may be in similar situations that we were in feel comfortable to live out loud and celebrate their love, no matter how it looks.

How do you and your partner celebrate Black love?

We celebrate our Black love by embracing it in every way, no matter who it makes uncomfortable. We unapologetically share it with the world to show up for the people who need to see that it is possible and attainable. In everything we do, we celebrate our Blackness just as any other characteristic about ourselves. So often, we are just labeled as “gay dads,” and we are constantly correcting it to ensure it reads “Black Gay Dads.” We also do not shy away from conferences, opportunities, etc. That may traditionally only recognize Black love in the way of just a man and a woman. Again, we are all about visibility, and that involves putting ourselves in rooms and situations where we are not always top of mind, but we know being seen will make the difference.

How do you model Black love for your kids?

We model Black love for our children by displaying it openly and transparently. We lean into our Blackness and don’t shy away from it. We show and teach them the power of Black love, but also that it can be safe and vulnerable. We raise our kids to have open minds in every aspect of life. We speak affirmations over them and have them repeat positivity over themselves. We strive to allow them to read books, watch TV shows and play with toys that look like them to show them that anything is possible. Too often, Black families are portrayed as broken, and we want our kids to know that those representations are not what it has to look like. We also allow our kids to see Black love by our peers and family. It takes a village to raise a child, so we always want them to see that representation in more than just their fathers.

Where do you draw your Black love inspiration from?

We draw our Black love inspiration from witnessing the love our parents showed to each other. While everything was not perfect, it gave us a solid foundation to build on when we became adults. As mentioned before, it’s always helpful to surround yourselves with others who also can hold you accountable. Our circle keeps us accountable and reminds us no problem is greater than our marriage and relationship. With that, it’s easier to not only be inspired but to inspire others around us.