Leaving an unhappy marriage

No guarantee leaving an unhappy marriage will make you happier; there is never a guarantee.

Most people believe that when faced with an unhappy marriage, there are only two choices: stay and continue to suffer, get a divorce and have happiness.

But you have more choices than staying or walking out. Staying does not always equal suffering, and leaving an unhappy marriage does not always lead to happiness.

Marriage is very complicated, and every couple is unique.

The worst a couple can imagine is simply a bump in the road leading to another.

Each person in a marriage is unique. Before you met, you and your spouse both had different experiences. Some of this shaping works and some may still be a struggle because it can trip you up at times.

Then there are the experiences you have had together, some of which may be good. In some ways, you and your spouse may not even agree on which experiences were good and which were not.

But, now you've reached the point where you're looking for information about divorce.

Divorce is one of the most painful life events you've ever had.

If you've never experienced it, it can hurt you in ways you can't imagine. And, if you've had a bad marital experience before, each divorce can hurt differently, because no two marriages are the same.

Divorce allows you to live alone or with new friends. If you have children, they will likely be given 2 homes: one to live with you and one to live with the other parent. And, if you have children, this means that you will not be able to get out of the relationship with the father/mother of your children for the rest of your life.

Divorce may give you the freedom to stop doing something after the divorce. But you have to choose to carry them out, and for some situations, that's a tough choice.

Leaving an unhappy marriage does not guarantee that you will be happier, because it is not just your marriage that is making you unhappy.

Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between being dissatisfied or partially unhappy with your life and being unhappy in your marriage, and viewing your marriage as a problem rather than looking for other possible sources of misfortune is the easiest thing people think of.

Other possible causes of misfortune include work, relationships with family or friends, parenting, empty nesting, challenges to physical or mental health, lack of a sense of purpose, comparing your life to that of others, and so on.

On the other hand, your marriage is indeed causing you pain.

Perhaps you and your spouse have become fundamentally incompatible.

Perhaps something unforgivable has happened.

Maybe you have forgotten how to communicate kindly, r even not to communicate at all.

Diagnosing the root cause of unhappiness can be more effective for you than choosing a divorce

There is no one-size-fits-all diagnosis, and there is no one specific thing that can kill a marriage. It's easy to believe what you feel on the surface and often miss the essence of the problem.

A series of small, almost imperceptible moments make a person feel like they have suffered an injustice.

Perhaps we never ask ourselves the right questions.

What did I do to cause this situation?

What other steps could I have taken to avoid the breakdown of my marriage and the breakup of my family?

What could have been avoided if I had made better, less selfish choices?

These are difficult questions.

If you lie to yourself, you will keep blaming your husband/wife and feeling sorry for yourself like the helpless wounded person you are.

When you are willing to tell yourself the truth, your inner self will give you the answer.

He is the one who makes you hold back tears, should he be given the chance to right some wrongs, or maybe the wrongs themselves lie in yourself.

Even if marriage is the root cause of your misfortune, leaving now may not be the right answer

You can only make the best choice about your marriage when you figure out your root cause regarding what is causing your unhappiness.

By discovering the answers, you will be able to know whether leaving an unhappy marriage or continuing with an unhappy marriage will ultimately lead to happiness for you.