How an Elopement changed my view on Weddings

There is a category on here that is highly under-posted and highly underappreciated. The reason for this is because in most cases, people aim to only experience this once, or don't really have the need to talk about it again, but this is where I come in!

Yes, we are talking about the marriage community page on the vocal, which doesn't focus on marriage at all as it centers around the wedding industry and all its woes and no's.

You can call me a wedding connoisseur, I specialize in the love of all things weddings and have done or have had a hand in the execution or capturing of hundreds of weddings.

However, the other day, I experienced my first elopement, and now I can't see a traditional wedding the same.

When I say elopement, I mean a true elopement, not a micro wedding where guests were in attendance, strictly two people marrying each other.

And it was life-changing.

I have worked a lot of weddings and at every single one, I leave saying something like, "Oh I loved that they did this, I would do that at my wedding". Am I married... NO, am I engaged, also no. I am not even in a relationship or anywhere close to commitment as such, however, that doesn't stop me from dreaming about having a big wedding production of my own!

After you work as many events and weddings as me and you still love the personalizations and love behind it all, at the end of the day, it's a timeline of events that we do most weekends. Not all weddings are the same but they all follow a similar timeline. Women get ready super early, men throw their suits on before the first pictures. You may have a first look, that is given a 15-minute timeslot in the day sliced between putting on the dress and pre-ceremony pictures. Trust me I love the production. However, that is what it often feels like a production. We add these moments into a timeline with expectations of them being big moments, then camouflage it like it wasn't a staged event with independent and dependent variables. It almost feels like we set the tee of a situation up, and the ball is supposed to be full of emotion! Trust me, it has its value, but after I experienced a true elopement where every moment was a true moment, it's hard to go back to the timeline of it all.

A special note to make is I live in Colorado, which is a unique state for weddings because you can marry yourselves, by law, it is not required to have someone ordained to say your I do's. Also, if you want to be extra dog-loving and unique in Colorado, your dog can be your witness, and sign your marriage license with a paw print.

Let me set the scene for this elopement though!

The couple both live here in Colorado, but both have parents that live in Pennsylvania so neither parents were attending. I was hired as a videographer for this event and when I arrived, the bride had hired a makeup and hair technician, a florist, and a baker for the cake. They had rented an Airbnb overlooking Pikes Peak and were in solitude down a bumpy dusted road. It was gorgeous and most of all quiet without an ounce of commotion. We had a timeline, but the flexibility was immaculate. They had two floors to this Airbnb and stayed separate but could talk to each other between the floors. They had orchestrated a first look in a beautiful picked-out spot where they would read letters from their parents and then exchange their own written vows and their rings.

At this elopement, everything in the morning was the same. We still captured the dress details and the vow books and florals; we still got each of them getting in their attire, the only aspect that was different was it was just them and for them. No family photos, just an entire day focused on the two of them and their love and commitment to one another.

The first look encounter was still timed and set up, but not so constricted, their time was their own to feel and have however they desired. They read their vows, a truly magical and emotional experience to be a part of, as they shared in solace with nature as their witness. They put each other's rings on and didn't quote any overused sayings that are in every ceremony monologue, and they kissed each other as if nobody was telling them to and nobody was watching! They celebrated as if the moment held no expectations and no outter relations, the moment was theirs.

We then went on to do a long session of photos where we got to play as we were not so much bound by time as we were by the light on this warm September night. We went back to the cabin, where they had arranged for a private chef to make them dinner to share, and then they went into their first dance on the back deck overlooking the mountains. The peace I felt sharing those moments with them was inspiring. Every intentional moment they had with each other was about them, which often dissipates in the wake of a large event. The amount of brides and grooms I have worked with who can't stomach any food because of their build-up to their day is a shame. Maybe because of the lead-up to such an important day, or maybe because of the amount of money they spent on such an important day. It often creates uncontrollable anxiety and a mountain size of unknown expectations.

There is so much pressure on a wedding day being the best day of your life and or worth the money you spent. There is so much pressure for everything to go right, just for most of your guests to leave early. This elopement simplified an occasion in such a calm yet respectful way.

As I mentioned before, I leave every wedding experience thinking, maybe I'll do this at mine. However, I could see myself doing an elopement and a reception at a later date. When I think about this, it may not be the main reason people elope, which is usually money-oriented but more so two separate occasions focusing my energy where it's deserved.

A traditional wedding day is LONG! Knowing myself at the end of the night I wouldn't even want to dance to the DJ's music I put good time and money into, especially as someone who doesn't drink. I would much rather have a day where the guest count is limited and the moments are only shared with those I will share my life with. Then celebrate later where I can wear my dress again and enjoy a gelato and mac and cheese and mashed potato bar. I would still honor my dad with a dance and I would still share my life and love with those I love, but not necessarily on the same day or time.

With all of this being said, I still love all forms of love, celebration, and tradition or nontraditional ways to become legal partners. I guess the concluding thoughts would be, to celebrate what is best for you, but something as simple as an elopement can still create just as magical moments as a big celebration!

Going forward, I believe weddings will look different for me, but who knows, maybe I will fill my schedule with more of these elopements in due time so I get to be around a little bit of both!

Just love who you love and celebrate how you desire, because at the end of the day, it's about who you get to share your bed with every night!