11 Ways to Diffuse Wedding Drama

Your wedding is supposed to be one of the most important and happy days of your life. For many planning a traditional wedding however, with all the various costs and choices that go into the big day, it's very common for conflicting opinions to create tension in the weeks leading up to the "I Do's." As much as you might have visualized your wedding day, so too have your family members. Your parents, grandparents, and siblings may have expectations and opinions of their own that they'd like to share—whether you're open to their suggestions or not. Overall, people feel like they have wisdom to share or a stake in your wedding day, so you have to be strong and make sure that you're making the choices for you and your spouse, not for anybody else.

Thankfully, there are a few ways to diffuse wedding drama before any of it gets blown out of proportion.

Send out invitations selectively.

The first way to diffuse wedding drama is to anticipate who could cause any new problems, or fuel any pre-existing ones, and then carefully consider whether or not you want them at your wedding. If your wedding is going to be one of the happiest days of your life, you want to be surrounded only by those who lift you up, and will support you and your fiancé in your new life together.

Make meticulous seating arrangements.

While it'll be really easy to exclude that friend you haven't spoken to since high school, or that cousin you've never actually met, from your guest list, there are certainly going to be a few difficult personalities that you will feel obligated to invite.

In these cases, it's best to pick seating arrangements very carefully, so that none of these difficult personalities are too close to each other... or to you.

Even though you'll have a lot of opinions and lot of input coming your way during the wedding planning process, you ultimately need to focus on what you and your fiancé want your wedding to look like—you need to do whatever feels comfortable for you.

Be selective about the conversations you're having on your big day.

You and your new husband or wife will obviously have to make the rounds during your wedding celebration to thank all of your guests for coming and sharing this special day with you. However, another way to diffuse wedding drama is to avoid spending extra time speaking with anyone who might raise your blood pressure a bit too much. Spend more time speaking with your best friend from college, rather than your mother-in-law who hates your dress and the venue.

Delegate tasks out to people who want to help.

Take advantage of the people that are supporting you, and the services for which you're paying for. There are plenty of reasons to hire a wedding planner, one being that wedding planners are invaluable during times of drama as they deal with these kinds of conflicts on the regular. You can confide in your wedding planner, and they'll help you discover solutions to any problems you anticipate or are currently facing.

On the day of the event, you can also ask for your Maid of Honor or Best Man to run interference for you. This could mean distracting any troublesome relatives, mediating any little conflicts that pop up, or just speaking with the DJ if they're playing too many Beyoncé songs and driving the older relatives from the dance floor.

Relying on those around you to help the day go successfully will ensure that each of your guests, but most importantly you, have a good time. It will also help you recognize the community that you have around you—helping you appreciate the day just a little bit more!

Choose services wisely.

Another way to diffuse wedding drama is to choose who will be providing specific services for your wedding as wisely as possible. For example, you may have a friend you grew up with who has a professional photography business and is willing to give you a discount for their services—but if they dated your fiancé or your sibling when you guys were teenagers, you have no way of knowing if something could pop up unexpectedly on the day of your wedding.

While these kinds of situations might seem like great ideas at first, as they're easy ways to save money, they could turn into moments and memories that you'd rather not have associated with your big day. If drama is a cause for concern, it may benefit you to pay just a bit more for someone who is not your, or your family's, friend. And then, if anything does go wrong at the wedding, there isn't a friendship hanging in the balance afterwards.

Besides, there are plenty of other ways to save money on your wedding.

Prioritize your wants and needs.

While delegating out tasks will go a long way to help you manage and handle drama the day of your wedding, during the planning process, it's best to prioritize that which is most important to you. As your family members likely have thought of your wedding, your mother or grandmother may have an old piece of jewelry to give you that they expect you to wear. In these cases, think about the parts of your wedding that you've dreamed about for years—was there another necklace or bracelet that you envisioned yourself wearing? Or was that one aspect of your visualization that you failed to dream up? In that case, it's clear that you were more excited about other things—and perhaps, you can appease your family member by wearing whatever they've gifted you to avoid family drama on your wedding day. However, if you've had your wedding outfit planned since you were 15 years old, respectfully decline the offer and explain how important this specific decision is for you.

Manage your emotions.

In those cases when differences of opinion and personality clash, be sure to step away from any situation in which you feel angry or frustrated, and wait to talk about the conflict until you've calmed down. The last thing you need is to say something in the heat of the moment that could keep your family members from wanting to attend your wedding or support your relationship.

Similarly, on those days when the wedding planning gets overwhelming, be sure to find ways to relax, and ways to help you move through whatever conflict has arisen. Then, the next time you approach the conflict, you will hopefully be more prepared to calmly handle the situation.

Find quiet spaces.

On the day of your wedding, it's paramount to remember that this day is for you and your fiancé. Though conflict might pop up and you may feel like you need ways to diffuse wedding drama, ultimately, this day is to celebrate the love that you and your significant other have for each other. It will be helpful to find quiet spaces where you can take a moment away from the crowd and the noise to remember why you put up with months of planning. This is sure to get you excited for all the moments you'll now get to spend with your new husband or wife in the years to come.

Ditch tradition.

If drama is a real cause for concern as you're planning your wedding, perhaps going the traditional route is not for you and your partner. After all, while your wedding can be an incredibly fun time to spend with your friends and family members that you love, it's ultimately a celebration of the commitment you're making to your significant other. That is the focal point of the day, so if you find that you're not that interested in all the choices and drama that could crop up while you begin planning, perhaps a courthouse wedding with only those closest to you is more your style.

Drama isn't always wedding related.

Another thing to keep in mind is that the drama that pops up during a wedding is not usually about the wedding, but about relationships and how they have changed, and will continue to change. If drama starts during the planning process, it may benefit all parties involved if you sit down with each other and talk through where the drama is coming from. This discussion is bound to have a lasting impact on each person involved, and this impact is sure to last well beyond the length of your wedding day.

Take your time.

There are plenty of ways to diffuse wedding drama, and plenty of resources you can turn to in order to help remedy these situations. However, none of the drama will go away if you ignore it. It's best to take a proactive approach to these problems, so that on your big day, it's easier for each person to move past any petty grievances to support you and your fiancé.

There are many choices to make when planning your wedding, but taking your time, and considering the implications of each decision will pay off big time in the end.