What The Hell Is Mental Masturbation?

I do love to set goals.

After doing my [self-reflection] (https://thisisstillme.medium.com/33f61a767520?source=friends_link&sk=undefined) for 2022, I was getting all ready to put pen to paper and suss it all out, when I saw an Instagram post from [@dr.stefan.gospodinov](https://www.instagram.com/dr.stefan.gospodinov/?hl=en) about [Mental Masturbation](https://www.instagram.com/p/CmoyCH8I0Bp/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link). Yes, you read that right.

I was very cautious when I googled it, but when I did, I was surprised to find that it is actually a well known, common thing, a well known, common thing that I was completely unaware of AND I have been doing for years!!

So what is it you may ask? Don’t worry, I won’t make you google it.

In a nutshell and to quote [Dan Koe](https://twitter.com/thedankoe/status/1530117108385910785), Mental Masturbation is;

> The process of raising dopamine in the brain by telling people your goals, plans, and how you want to change but never actually doing anything about it

>

And I for one am extremely guilty of doing this.

There is so much conflicting information out there and I have always been led to believe that by sharing my goals and intentions, I was keeping myself accountable, however, after reading this, I am not so sure.

I always get really excited about setting goals. Each year/month/week I am going to be thinner, healthier or successful, sometimes all three if I’m in a good mood.

When I set my goals, I genuinely do believe that I am going to eat salads every day, even though I hate them or go running three times a week, even though my knees can’t take it anymore.

Setting goals really does make me feel excited and over the years, setting “new years resolutions” has become the ultimate goal-setting task. A whole 12 months of goals right in front of me! I am practically squealing with delight. But, I always have 12 months ahead of me, so why should I be waiting for January to come around?

I had already decided that I wasn’t getting sucked into the whole “new year, new me” rubbish, although I fully admit I am finding it hard not to get swept up in the excitement of it, but what about sharing my goals and intentions with other people? I’ve been doing that on a weekly basis for a while now and feel like I’m not really getting anywhere. Maybe it’s time to try something different.

So here is my plan. I am going to fill in my [Law of Attraction Planner](http://freedommastery.com?p=S1bvpD_Oi) when it arrives, its full of insightful questions about my values, my visions, my goals and my why.

This will help me find out what’s truly important to me. This self-reflection is key for me and I like to do it on a regular basis.

Then I will break each goal down in bite size pieces and small achievable tasks, which are then broken down over, months, weeks and days.

Instead of sharing what my intentions are for the coming week, I will share what they were for the previous week and how that went for me. That way, I am still sharing my intentions with you all, as that was one of the most popular posts in my [survey](https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/QKM63QK) results, but I also get to keep them to myself for a bit longer, giving myself time to actually assess and achieve them.

Will you be setting and sharing your goals for 2023? ❤️

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