Wanting To Upgrade Your Life Isn’t Something To Feel Guilty About

My family was poor. My parents immigrated from Vietnam and worked years to provide us with a better life. They worked manual labor jobs to support a family of 7 (my parents, 3 kids, and grandparents). My dad's first job was pulling weeds. We've always been very cognizant of where our money went because we never had any.

Growing up poor has given me a weird relationship with money because saving and investing was all I was taught. It wasn’t just my family dynamics with money that’s made me so frugal but also what society and the general public perceive spending to mean.

Spending money to buy new things means you’re materialistic, wasteful, damaging the environment, or you don’t know what’s important in life.

Articles about overconsumption fill the Internet. Stories and lessons about how we should teach our kids what the real value of a dollar means and how we won’t be able to find that at the mall.

I’m not advocating or encouraging overconsumption. I still believe that if you just bought a giant TV last year, you don’t need to buy another this year. But some things in life need to be upgraded and if we can afford to upgrade our life without having to sacrifice something substantial or important, we shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting to improve our lives no matter how we choose to do that.

We all need a little luxury in our lives

With all the hoopla about saving and investing, it’s easy to feel guilty about spending money. But there are some things we should spend money on even if we don’t necessarily need it.

Things like a fancy dinner out, silk sheets for your bed, hiring professionals to clean your house, a private school for your kids.

Whatever your luxury item is, if it’s worth it to you to spend the money (without going into debt) then I challenge you to stop feeling guilty about it. You’ve worked hard for your money and sacrifices were made on your part in order for you to afford this luxury.

I have a few luxury items I spend or have spent on simply because I think they’re worth it.

• a $2,000 mattress foam bed

• a $2,100 sofa

• I travel somewhere internationally for about a month every year (or used to before a pandemic hit).

These are extravagances I’m happy to spend on because sleep is important to me, I like to be comfortable on the couch, and I love experiencing the food and culture of other countries.

What I don’t spend on is brand new anything for my son, I don’t buy a lot of clothes, we don’t go out for fancy meals, we don’t have luxurious cars, and I will only get the free phones when I renew my cellphone plan.

I don’t spend my money on a lot of things because they’re not important to me but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be important to you.

We all need a bit of luxury in our lives, whether that luxury comes from material good or experiences, (and without getting us into debt) we should be allowed to enjoy them free from guilt.

It doesn’t have to be save or spend. There is a middle ground

There are a lot of articles advocating the need to save, and at the same time, we are bombarded by advertisements encouraging us to spend. Events like Black Friday seem to offer us the best of both worlds where we can spend and save at the same time.

Consumers are often chastised and judged for taking part in Black Friday sales and buying things simply because they are discounted (some of the Black Friday videos from the shops in the US are, for lack of a better word, crazy). Some are so insulted and outraged at Black Friday here in Canada that they’ve started a “Buy Nothing Day” challenging consumers not to spend on Black Friday.

Although I don’t encourage overconsumption and buying things for the sake of buying, I also don’t believe we should be judged on how we spend our money.

We simply need to find a balance between spending and saving.

There is no need to buy everything and spend beyond our means but we also shouldn’t be guilted into buying anything.

Don’t upgrade for the sake of upgrading

I don't upgrade for the sake of upgrading.

It takes me an inordinate amount of time to fork over $20 for a new shirt.

If we’re upgrading to compete with our neighbors or because some company had one hell of a marketing team, we need to reevaluate our priorities and how we spend our hard-earned cash.

Don’t upgrade something for the sake of it. Upgrade because it’s important to you or will improve your quality of life. After all, you only have one to live and you should enjoy it while you still can.

Sometimes you just want something and that’s OKAY

Sometimes something shiny catches your eye and you just absolutely “need” to have it.

There’s no rhyme or reason and you can’t justify your desire.

You just want it.

And to that, I say go for it if you can afford it.

There are a lot of reasons why we shouldn’t buy anything but there are times when you only need one reason to buy it and that’s because you want it.

We can spend our whole life-saving. Saving for old age, saving for our children, saving for a trip we may never have the chance to take.

There are some things that money can’t buy and there are some things that money can. If we choose to spend our money wisely, we can save, spend, upgrade our life and be happy doing it.

This article originally appeared on Medium