There's No Such Thing As a Best Friend

I had a strange and twisted relationship with my previous profession.

I think I'll call him Joe. I think I chose the name Joe arbitrarily, however, there was an actual Joe. He created the company which I worked for. Which makes Joe a building, a company and a real guy.

I never met the real guy. I started working for him six years after he passed away, but I was already familiar with his legacy. I had read his biography while I was still working in television.

Joe Papp invented off-Broadway theater in New York. He felt that the works of William Shakespeare should be free and accessible to everyone, regardless of their background, education, or financial resources.

He bought a flat bed truck, and traveled around to different parks in New York City. He hired actors, who preformed Shakespeare's plays, right on the back of that truck.

The truck finally broke down in the middle of Central Park, so he decided to build a 2,000 seat theater right there. He had neither electricity, nor running water, but Joe made it happen.

After a few years, he created a downtown theater space as well. He found a huge, old, building, which was abandoned by HIAS, originally designed to be the first lending library in New York. Joe did that, after having worked in television a few doors down from my very first TV gig.

I worked for this man, his company, in his building for nearly 20 years. And for most of that time, I loved it. I had a great deal of fun, in a creative field, until it just wasn't fun anymore. Did it change, or did I change, or both?

I held the very same position the entire time. I didn't do much, nor had any major responsibilities, and never asserted myself to a higher professional level.

I'm not sure why that is. I'm not blaming anyone. I'm simply sharing my view after five years of separation. I spent too much time in my relationship with Joe, and I feel as if I would have grown more had I left earlier.

But I know that I was respected and loved by so many. These people remain my dear friends. And when we lose someone, I still feel as if I'm a part of the community.

But here I am, writing a blog post about connections and relationships. And this is what came to mind.

Right here...right now....right here...right now.

Who is/was your best friend? What made the connection so strong?

When I was younger, my dad would tell me "there's no such thing as a best friend." I think he was simply offering advise with that statement. That if you declare that someone in your life is ahead of the rest, you're sort of demoting the rest of your friends. Wouldn't you rather walk around in life with a lot of little pebbles, or one big heavy boulder? Which is more sustainable?

But I have had some great friendships in my life, and I am still connect to many of them today.

There was the little girl I grew up across the street from. She was indeed my best friend for a very long time. I think we just grew into different interests in high school.

During the growth of the baby bust generation, the suburbs were hit pretty hard. Robert E. Picken Elementary School had closed, so I was sent to Eastplain. In Mrs. Jeskin's second grade class, I met another little girl. When students would give animal reports, she would always raise her hand and ask "how does it take care of its babies."

Dudes, that was 45 years ago. We have remained friends to this very day. We discovered booze and boys together. And after I was away at school for a year, I made her come to Buffalo. There are so many memories. 10 years ago, we lost our moms within eight days of one another.

There's my best friend from youth group who showed up at the hospital at one o'clock in the morning, the night that my mother had passed away, just to drive me home.

One of my best friends from college called me this week, totally out of the blue. I had been thinking about her a lot, and thought to myself that I should reach out to her. She read my brain.

There's my ride-or-die friend from the house that Joe build. She has done anything and everything with me, for me, and to me. We come from completely different backgrounds, and I am thankful that Joe's spirit brought us together.

My dad was right. To declare one friend above all others when you're eight or fourteen, may not be wise for you to decide. Relationships are conceptually tangible. But when I sit and think about it at 53, I don't decide who my best friends are. Time has made those decisions for me.

So Where the Hell Have I Been?

The Earth has shifted, and I have experienced a job change. Ideally, this is not the work I wish to be doing. But change doesn't happen over night, and this new location came at the right time. And I am pleased.

My body is already thanking me. And my apartment is beginning to look like a home again. Beneath the film, there has been a return to running and meditation. I am finally sampling suggestions from my 21 Day Plant Based Plan tune-up. It's so nice to be amongst the living again.

But Here's How I Really Feel

Based on where I live and work, it's not a matter of if I catch This Thing. It's simply a question of when. I have let go of my control over this situation, since it's totally based on the actions and behaviors of others. I wear my masks everywhere, even to take out the garbage. My neighbors rarely do, including the dealer, who lives in my building. He sets up shop by the front door every day. But now that the governor has lifted prohibition, my maskless, dealer, schmuck neighbor is going to need to seek alternative employment. What the hell is that guy going to put on his Linked In page? Can he list "destructive litterbug" under special skills?

Meanwhile, I have indeed been vaccinated twice. I got the earliest freakin' appointments I could. While I see my career as being in the toilet, somehow New York sees me as essential. Okay, fine. In this State, Empire has jurisdiction over such a thing, so go ahead. Consider me Pfizer Pfrost.