The New Appendix

“It’s in my head.” I repeated over and over after a sedative was administered to me. It was to calm my nerves before giving birth to my son. However, the sedative did not calm me, it terrified me more than the birthing experience itself. It felt like my brain was dying while the rest of my body was still very much alive if I were to describe it. I have had attacks like these before after a night of heavy drinking, in which people around me including medical professionals would tell me I was just having ‘anxiety’, but when I would compare my anxiety attacks to others, our notes were not the same. For example, I could breathe just fine, but my head was telling me that something was amiss and that I was dying even though I never did in those moments. That one scary incident with the sedative happened in 2012.

Almost a decade later, I am in the hospital again due to a number of complications, one of them being extreme dehydration. My brain felt like it was on fire and I thought surely it was my time to go. However, after several rounds of saline and an MRI, they found something in my brain: a 1.36 cm calcified pineal gland tumor. Guess it was in my head after all. From being diagnosed with anxiety and several other mental illnesses, it felt like all the answers to most of my problems were located on the jarring image of my brain scan and the abnormal growth within.

I was told that it was an incidental find and nothing of concern, which I thought was odd for a medical professional to say considering something so criminal looking to me was located in an important organ of the body aside from the heart and liver. I knew this was the problem my brain had been warning me about for quite a while so I took it upon myself to do my own research. I joined several online support groups for people with the same diagnosis as me. These people were also written off and told by doctors and neurosurgeons that their pineal gland cysts or tumors were nothing to worry about and that they do not cause symptoms. Boy, are they wrong!

The pineal gland is a small orb-like structure located in the center of the brain near the optic nerves. It is sometimes referred to as the ‘third eye’ and is known to regulate our circadian rhythm. The pineal gland produces hormones such as melatonin, serotonin, and DMT, which stands for N-Dimethyltryptamine. DMT is what releases when you dream and also when you DIE. Yes, I too was shook when I made this discovery. It made so much sense and why I would experience these mini dying attacks, some would even call these episodes psychosis. However, these attacks would only seem to happen if I was too dehydrated, which happened often in my early 20’s, especially if I ever contracted a UTI. My theory is that when the brain with a pineal gland cyst or tumor is too dehydrated, it runs out of serotonin at some point and then it starts to secrete DMT. In my case, it would release the death DMT. To confirm this theory I went to one of the few neurosurgeons in the United States who is currently studying and removing pineal gland cysts. He said my pineal gland is very large and that he believes it is over secreting one of the three hormones, but he doesn’t know which one. I also brought to light the fact that when I take a sedative I go into psychosis, and he confirmed my other theory that since my pineal gland is damaged, it sends out the death DMT instead of melatonin. When I asked what causes enlarged pineal glands he said the short answer is: not much is known as for the cause, but it is becoming clear, especially after removing a pineal gland, that it acts like the appendix of the brain. It doesn’t serve a major role, but when it is enlarged or there is a growth on it, it can cause many problems. He even told me of a patient who was infertile because of their pineal gland cyst, but after removing it, his patient was able to have children. This goes to show that any time there is an abnormality in the brain it is bound to affect hormones, mood, and in my opinion, even personality.

The symptoms associated with pineal gland cysts are mostly headaches and blurred vision. I posted a complete symptom list in one of the links below. This goes to show that just because a tumor or growth in the brain is considered ‘benign’ it does not mean it cannot do damage or cause issues. There are also no medications known to shrink or decalcify the pineal gland. Most pineal gland cysts tend to occur in young women in their 20s and 30s more so than in men. However, there is a pub med article I will link below that entails a story of a 34 year old male with a pineal gland growth who suffered from schizophrenia, but shortly after resection of the gland he experienced complete relief of his schizophrenia symptoms. I’m not saying everyone with a psychotic disorder has a brain tumor, there are several factors that contribute to mental illnesses, but instead of doctors dismissing patients or writing them off as having anxiety or bi polar disorder, perhaps they should order or offer a brain scan before making a patient feel like their intuitions are wrong, especially when it comes to female patients. I wrote this in hopes of bringing about more awareness of the pineal gland. It is still considered a fail question on tests in medical school if a prospective doctor says that the pineal gland cyst or tumor causes symptoms, which is ridiculous because in my experience along with many others, we know that it does in fact cause problems.

Here are some links about the pineal gland:

www.pinealglandcystsandtumours.com

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov