The Leavin Tree

The old woman walked around the room.... touching the boxes of things she had lived with over the last seventy plus years. She clutched the envelope of pictures she had retrieved from one of the boxes her daughter had packed.

"You don't need them mom.... they'll just make you sad...well sadder than you are."

She had put them back but later taken them out of the box after her daughter had gone for the day. One more night....one more night in the house she had shared with her husband for thirty plus years.

She was on to a new adventure. "It will be good for you mother, there are people there your age there.... and activities that I'm sure you'll enjoy, and I will come as often as I can."

The old woman smiled and looked at the beautiful young liar in front of her, "It's fine dear...I'll be fine...It's just a place."

"Yes, like this is just a place, " the younger woman had said quite firmly...as she packed the last remnants of her mother's life in the Banker boxes.

"Dear, I'd like to go to the Leavin Tree before I go." the old woman had said in a rather demanding tone. The young woman looked at her. That look that was clearly letting her know what a bother all of this was.

"Alright. Tomorrow mother, but you know my time is limited. Wouldn't you like to be at the Villa while it's still light? "I told them we'd be there around three or four."

"There will be plenty of time.... I'll go down before you come to take me."

"Mother, wait till I get here...I don't want you walking through a field that is all grown up. God knows what is down there."

The young woman said it with such authority....as if the old woman had become an errant child that needed redirecting.

The old woman smiled. "Don't worry dear." she said and looked away.

The young woman had left shortly after. Kissing her mother on a wrinkled cheek and asking her to reconsider coming with her to the hotel where she was staying as she most competently took care of the business of father dying.

The old woman was alone now.... almost giddy in the sense her beautiful daughter had left. She thought about her daughter for a moment and wondered where she had failed. The young woman was everything she was not...."Maybe that's a good thing" she said to herself. "I hope she knows how much she is loved." The old woman thought about penning her a note. In the days of emails and posts and twits and chats...almost no one pens anymore. She thought about it again and put the idea to rest. "Just words." she sighed "just words".

The old woman set about preparing things for the Leavin Tree. She had a fresh melon delivered, some raisins, some nuts and seeds, apples and carrots, a small head of cabbage several small cans of cat food....the good kind. "Those cats won't know how to act," she said as she checked her stash. The old woman smiled when she thought of ordering this stuff without her daughter's knowing or approval.

The old lady walked out onto the porch and looked through the field at the tree. "I can get down there one last time." she said resolutely to herself. She clutched the envelope of pictures in her sweater.

She sat on the porch in the rocker he had made for them. His chair was conspicuously empty. The town smell came to her briefly. She whiffed it away, preferring the warm breeze that had carried the smell of poverty and rust. Yes, like her, the town was well past its prime.

She stayed there for a long time. They would be coming soon...the animals which visited the Tree almost nightly. When he was alive, they used to go to the Tree together, taking booty for those who visited there looking for a treat, an easy meal, a little bitey-bite. She smiled to herself and pulled a picture from the envelope. A picture of him coming out of the garage.... all big and sweaty and sure of himself. A tear gathered in the corner of her eye. She let in fall down her cheek, careful not to allow it to hit the photo. "One more night," she breathed softly into the falling evening. "One more night and then I'm gone."

The night was uneventful. She slept on the couch.

Her daughter had sold the bedroom suite to a young couple striking out on their own. They had explained they were not married yet, but hoped to be someday when they were more settled. "But, Hell they still needed a bed didn't they.?" "If only that bed could talk." The old woman smiled as she thought of all the love that had been made in that bed. She was glad that it was not the end of the road for the bedroom suite they had bought new at a high-end furniture store in the city. She carefully taped five one-hundred-dollar bills to the bottom of the dresser drawers. It was what the young couple had paid for one of the best pieces of her old life. She thought about them finding the money and being excited. Maybe they'd buy some bud and smoke themselves silly. Maybe they'd pay rent, or adopt a dog. Whatever.

She rose early the next morning. She set to preparing the last meal. A bagel with cream cheese and cup of de-cafe. She would have to put the coffee back into the box to go to the church. She sat about preparing the final meal for the little ones as soon as she finished her breakfast. Her daughter called on the land line and told her she would be there by one. "Mother please be ready to go when I get there.... I have got to get back home....and I'm able to get a flight out tonight...you understand."

The old woman understood. She felt sorry that the little liar's plans would be disrupted yet again. Oh well...

She carefully retrieved the bottle from her purse and put the vile in her pocket. She had dressed in a grey turtleneck, black pants and black sweater. She pulled on her boat shoes and picked up the tray that contained all the goodies for the animals that visited the Tree regularly.

She pulled some juice from the fridge, drank most of it and filled the bottle with Crown Royal. That should do it. She was ready to go now. Last walk to their tree. She walked past the place where the boat had been stored. She thought of fishing and the Lake and the smell of morning and water and him. She walked past the garage and stopped briefly. It was empty now...the machines were sold...gone...like they never existed. That tear crawled into her eye again. She brushed it away. Out of her eye she thought she saw him standing in the yard smiling.... probably looking for her or the dog. She thought briefly about the dog....it was amazing that he died so suddenly after her husband.... like he had waited for him to go.... God is good she thought. God is good.

She carefully made her way to the tree. She placed the food around the Tree area....far enough apart for the animals to eat together without fear of each other. She thought about the feral cats that she fed regularly and knew they would survive. The Old Marine down the road would see to that.

She found a comfortable spot and sat down and breathed in the day. She sat there for a long time. Thinking...just thinking. She pulled the photos from the envelope...a picture of her daughter when she was young...the dog she had loved.... a picture of him and a picture of them when they were much younger. She thought about their life together and was grateful for all God had given her.

After some time, she took the bottle from her pocket. She read the label. Ninety Ativan, plus those she had saved over time, well over a hundred. She took a big swig of Crown and downed a handful of the little miracles. She remembered that Ativan had been first diagnosed for pre-surgery patients. Now, doctors prescribed it for almost everything. Not really.... but it was easy enough for her to get from her doctor. She was grateful for that.

She waited awhile.... nothing yet...she felt her stomach getting sick...she prayed and took the rest with what was left of the Crown. She felt herself being covered in velvet.... warm velvet...there was a silence that included every sound and voice she had ever heard. Faces came to her...lingered and left. It was sweet...like top shelf whisky or Belgium chocolate. Her body slumped to the side after a short period of time. She was sure that God had done that on purpose so that she could not be seen in the field unless someone knew where to look. She was glad she had left the note saying she had gone to the Tree.

Her daughter was packing her cases into the rental car.... she'd go get mom.... get her to the Villa and be on the red eye home.... Thank God this was over. She pulled away from the hotel and headed towards her mother's house. She hoped her mother would not make a scene. Yes, leaving might be hard, but it was just another part of living. It would be a long day. "I'll be home by morning." she said as she turned on the radio and sped towards her mother and the Leavin Tree.