Real Bodies

"Changing your BODY won't automatically change your BODY IMAGE. But fixing what's going on inside your heart, your soul, your mind? Well that, darling, that is a complete game changer"

"- So make your heart the most beautiful thing about you"

Quotes from @recoveryloveandcare and @danaemercer on Instagram

It's Time to Talk

Being body positive is completely exhausting, at least that's what I've found.

I think we get so caught up in how we look, we seem to forget that nobody is actually looking at us - Yeah that's right! Nobody is looking.

'but what if they make a comment about my body?' Simple - they aren't. They're thinking about what THEY look like and what insecurities THEY have...and then projecting it onto you.

That can be a strange and uncomfortable pill to swallow for some people, but it's the truth; once you realise that everyone is only ever worried about themselves, it becomes easier.

Pick Your Influences

"If following someone makes you feel like garbage, take out the trash.

It's them. Not you.

Unfollow"

@DietitianAnna on Instagram

Who here remembers the 'thigh gap' trend?

I remember it well - it was (and still is) by all accounts, complete bullshit. I think I even heard that people were going so far as to get surgery to change it.

I remember thinking about how unrealistic and completely damaging it was. And to be perfectly honest I will say the same for the tiny waist, big bum trend that I still see today in some places - people nearly breaking themselves to achieve this body image which is most likely not going to happen (unless you're lucky or you go under the knife).

Dare I say it? I even went through the phase of wanting that perfect fitness booty...I did squats, lunges...anything you name it! But the only reason I thought I wanted it in the first place was because it was all I ever saw on my social media feed.

So what did I do to change this? I know some people who have deleted social media all together and gone cold turkey, which works!

I made the choice to go through each of my platforms and purge my following list, I scrolled down the list and asked myself questions for each person; why am I actually invested in you? Why am I actually following you? Are you a good influence? Do I just find you attractive and that's it? Do I keep you around as a subconscious way of comparing my life to yours? I even went through my Facebook and unfriended people I never spoke to, people who only posted negativity and marketing accounts.

My next step was finding people to follow who I genuinely liked and were actually a good influence - this didn't happen over night, I had to take a good look at myself and figure out what image I wanted to see. It was then that I started binging The Good Place on Netflix and discovered the wonder woman who is Jameela Jamil (who taught me what it meant to be 'body neutral', which I will go on to explain later!)

From then on I found other humans to follow, ED warriors and survivors who promoted 'normal bodies' - bodies with stretch marks, cellulite, acne and wobbly bits - and helped others with a more accepting and realistic body image. I filled my feed with them and over time felt myself become desensitised to my imperfections.

Instagrammers to fill your feed with: @danaemercer, @bemoremvmt, @mikzazon, @i_weigh, @megan_rose_lane, @rawbeautytalks, @jameelajamilofficial, @isabelladavis6, @hannahwitton, @atlantabean, also search for the #NormalizeNormalBodies hashtag.

Podcasts to fill your ears with: I Weigh with Jameela Jamil, Doing it! with Hannah Witton, I'm Over It with Atlanta de Cadenet Taylor which are all available on Spotify.

Being Body Neutral

"My body image held me back a lot in my life and that's because I was trained for it to do so by society, by media, by magazines, by people at school, by my family even. I can't do body positivity because it takes up still too much of my time! Stand there in front of the mirror and be like, 'I love thighs! I love my cellulite!

I'm still too body dysmorphic to be able to do that, so instead, I just don't think about it. I'm neutral! I don't love my body, I don't hate my body."

Jameela Jamil for Bang Showbiz 2020

Body Neutral = accepting your body for what it is and what it does rather than what it looks like.

A body isn't there to be attractive to someone else, it's a fantastic collection of organs with a brain and a heart that keeps you breathing and (more importantly) keeps you alive.

I mentioned before that I found being body positive exhausting...I'm mid range when it comes to weight; I'm small, however I've never been stick thin, I've fluctuated as I've grown up but I've never been overweight - I've always been just in between and what I used to think was unattractive and out of shape was actually a normal and neutral body weight.

So don't weigh yourself in fat or muscle, weigh yourself in the things that actually matter - your kindness, your bravery, your skill and the size of your heart.

"iWeigh is all about weighing yourself in achievements and experiences, not “f*cking KGs”

Jameela Jamil on her podcast iWeigh

Businesses to Support

Moki Studios make bespoke bust statues with gold leaf stretch marks, they come in all shapes and sizes and they even do custom orders!

Commen by Mik Zazon is a small clothing brand centred around promoting normal bodies with cute slogans, for all shapes and sizes.

ModCloth are a clothing brand who were the first brand to sign an anti-photoshopping pledge as part of a Truth in Advertising bill, something that more and more retailers (like ASOS and Missguided) are starting to do.

Restless Network is an app/website who's aim is to create a safe online environment for all women to discuss whatever they like - from sex and relationships to racial justice and the #MeToo movement.

Big Bud Press if you love Lucy and Yak then you will love this brand too! A small business based in LA, not only are they size inclusive with all the funky colours you could ask for - they're also Eco friendly and sustainable, making all of their pieces by hand.

Do Something That Terrifies You

I'm going to finish this post with a photo.

This is a photo of me that - even a few months ago - I wouldn't have had the courage to post, and if it wasn't for the refreshing influence of the people I follow on social media then I never would have chosen to become body neutral and this mini photoshoot would never have happened.

So here it is.

Stay kind, stay brave and stay true everybody!

WARNING: the following contains images of a normal and healthy body! Side effects may include positive influence, noticeable reduction of 'giving a shit', smiling and being a boss ass bitch.