Part one of- I'm not shy I'm introverted

For so many years i have been labelled as shy, by friends, family, professionals and even by myself.

I was a quiet baby, a quiet child and now I'm a quiet adult.

It wasn't until a few years ago a video when I was led in bed unable to sleep and browsing tik tok, which is a short video app, that I came across a video about introverts and extroverts.

I had heard of the terms before but I never knew what they meant and never for a second thought that they could apply to me.

All i knew that in the world there seemed to be loud people and quiet ones and i fell in with the latter.

now this was only a short video on tik tok so after watching i opened up google chrome on my phone,

oh and yes, this is the reason why i never sleep much, because i have this very addictive habit of scrolling through tik tok, which is full of not just funny but interesting or informative videos and if something that interests me comes on i have to go and research more about it.

It isn't something i can wait until the morning to do, ive tried that and it doesn't work, not for me anyway.

i just lay in bed with my eyes closed, my body relaxes, but my brain, damn my brain is in hyperdrive, thinking about the topic i want to know more about,

wondering how it all works, wondering what it all means and coming up with my own beliefs and assumptions before i have even read up on it.

This goes on for so long that i eventually find myself wide awake, eyes open, unable to sleep and almost sub consciously i grab my phone , open google chrome and then get lost for a good few hours in my new topic.

right now back to this introvert topic i had found, sorry, that is a habit of mines, i always have 50, 000 things running around in my mind all the time and i do get side tracked and lose track of what i am supposed to be talking or writing about.

so i apologise for that now and i will also apologise again in advance because i am about 99 percent sure that it

!WILL! happen again haha.

So back to the introvert topic, i browsed many web pages until i found the one i liked, the right one, i never just google a topic and read any old page, the colours have to be right, the design, the pictures, the wording and how big the text is etc.

is this just me or does anyone else do this?

i read for about ten minutes and not only did i find the topic interesting , i also discovered , quite shockingly at 40 years old that i am not shy as i and everyone around me had also thought, that i am actually a introvert.

I'm not going to go into the topic here of what a introvert and extrovert is here, partly because i do not feel educated enough about it all and partly because on browsing many different webpages on the topic i realised that every web site has their own interpretations. widely similar ones but also slightly different.

so I've come under the conclusion that being a introvert or extrovert is a personal experience, one list on the internet may not be a exact representation of who or how you think you are.

so my advice there is to do your research on google or YouTube as much as you can and find out what being extrovert or introvert is for you personally, not just what any website or video tells you.

for myself it just took reading one article to realise that i am a introvert but it may take you longer.

from what i have read, a basic little bit about it, this is not at all a professional opinion .

for those who have no idea what i am talking about is that introverts are supposed to be people who live a lot inside of their own heads, they think silently in their heads, rather then speaking,

they are often quiet until they have something that means something to say and they seem shy.

They are observers, big crowds often overwhelm them and they need time alone after socialising, they do not need or necessarily like to have social attention and if they do there is almost always a limit of how much they can take until they want to withdraw,

they don't hate parties and clubs but they prefer quieter things like a walk on the beach in the evening when all the families have gone home, a trip to that café at the corner of town that never gets busy, or if they must attend a party you will probably find them sat in a corner somewhere with the host pet, or a book, or just sat quietly with one or two people they know.

they actually like, love and need to be this way, this is how they were born, this is their natural.

Extroverts are meant to be the opposite of introverts, they are meant to be much more chatty, they love talking, verbalise their thoughts, they love social attention and are less likely to be shy in large groups, they are meant to thrive in it and crave it.

some extroverts can get very down if they do not speak to another person in just a short space of the time,

not all but many extroverts have many friends, they love to go out with as many friends as possible, its like socialising gives them energy.

they are meant to be loud as well, if you have someone in your group of friends who is always singing as loud as possible when you are out, cracking jokes and being loud then he may just be a extrovert.

it is also possible to be a mix of both introvert and extrovert.

Many of you may have read that and agreed with it all, many of you may just agree with some of what I've said and others probably don't agree with any of it and think its all bullshit.

Do you see what i mean? everybody has a different understanding and interpretation of things and that's why i just want to talk about my experiences of what being a introvert means to me personally.

so in part two of im not shy im introverted ill be writing about the thoughts and feelings ive had since childhood of being a introvert.