Never Letting My Disability Disable Me

I have Cerebral Palsy, but it does not have me. Through out my 28 years of living, I have had to consistently choose between two paths. On my left is the path of acceptance; do I choose to accept that this disability is a part of who I am and use it to empower myself and the world? On my right is the path of pity; do I feel sorry for myself and allow others to feel the same? Allow them to treat me as less than human? Some times I do take the path on the right, but it is my life's goal to always take the path on the left. Sometimes I must fight those who block my choice, but in the end, I will always win.

As a child, I never knew that I was different. I thought all children had to wear corrective gear on their arm and leg. It wasn't until I was introduced to the real world. Full grown adults pointing and laughing at me as I limped in to my kindergarten class, holding my mom's hand with my unaffected hand.

"Mommy, why are they laughing at me" I would ask.

My mom would try her best to save my innocence while also being truthful and for that I will always be grateful. "They just don't understand," she would try to explain, "you are different from the other kids and some people don't like different."

Throughout my early school years, I knew what to expect at the start of every year. I'd walk in to a class and kids would stare and ask me what was wrong. Though I would try my best to explain, no one was better at explaining it than my mom. Every year, she would come in dressed in her medical scrubs and have games and a kid friendly presentation set up. After each presentation, the children understood it better and would accept me for who I am. All except one.

This girl, let's call her Jane, lived just up the street from where I grew up. I first met her in the 3rd grade. Jane was a girl that would be my friend for a month, then I would do something that she did not like, such as disagree on which game to play or have the same crush on a boy, and she would hate me for a few weeks. This game of cat and mouse went on for three and a half years. It came to its climax when, during class, Jane came up to my computer, where I was practicing typing with one hand, and insulted the teacher to me under her breath. The teacher, having heard her, tried to force Jane to repeat what she had just said. When Jane refused, the teacher turned to me. That was the first time that I had to choose the path I wanted my life to go, though I did not know it at the time. I repeated what Jane had said to the teacher. Because of this, Jane spent the next 2 months making my life as terrible as possible. During this whole time, I became stronger and learned the value of being treated as well as I deserve. As I'm sure Jane has forgotten about me, I am sure that I will never forget her and the lessons I learned from her.

After middle school, I was expecting to go to the high school that everyone living in my area would go. However, before the end of my 8th grade year, my parents sat myself and my brother, Nick down and informed us that, because of Nick's basketball, we would be going to a private Christian school. I was infuriated,

"Mom, dad, how could you do this to me!" I exclaimed. "I don't know anyone there, all my friends will be going to the other school! I'm going to be a lonely weirdo!" I was scared that history will repeat itself and I will be the "freak of nature" again.

Nonetheless, I went to the new school. My class had 100 kids in it and I was the new face. Quickly, however, I was accepted and integrated into the school's community. It had felt like I had been there all my life. I joined the Color Guard team and was part of the drama nerds, which I was happy with!

Every year, my school offered a showcase to show off their arts departments. That year, it was Disney themed and I was partnered with my classmate Aaron and tasked to find a scene from a Disney movie that we could preform. We chose Monster's Inc. I was to play Cecelia and Aaron Mike, but we needed a Sully.

"I know the perfect guy!" Aaron confessed.

We went down to the office to ask him to meet us. We called him out of class and waited.

I had never believed in love in first sight. I thought, especially in my condition, that I would never find love, I didn't deserve it. As soon as he turned the corner, love hit me as though I was running full speed in to a brick wall. He gladly did the skit with us and I knew that I had found the man that I was going to marry.

It was confirmed in my mind when we participated in the Every 15 Minutes program and he participated. I saw his "obituary" in the atrium and knew that I could not live with out him. He became friends with Nick, my brother, so I got to know him through their friendship. Tanner did not reciprocate my feelings until late 2010 when he told me he loved me for the first time. We started dating in 2011 and have been happy ever since.

I graduated high school in 2011 standing besides the best people I have ever known with all of my loved ones cheering me on. Every one was asking me what I wanted to do next and I had honestly no idea. So I went to community college, where I blended in with the thousands of other faces. Though I was going through the motions, a voice told me that there was something more waiting for me out there. A certain mouse was waiting for me to go in to his employ.

In late 2011, while looking for a job, I came across the Disney College Program, a internship for college students that allows them to work for the Disney company at either Disneyland or Walt Disney World. After months of interviews and waiting, I was accepted into the program at Walt Disney World. From August 2012 to January 2013, I would live the life that I've had always wanted and meet lifelong friends. It was the hardest work I have ever done, but it was also the happiest I had ever been.

After coming back home from Florida, my parents told me that it was time to get serious about my future. As such, I decided to enroll in a trade school that I saw on T.V. Over the next year and a half, I would be challenged and grow in to the woman I thought was expected to be. Towards the end of my program, one of my professors began telling me how much of a failure I was and that I would never graduate. Over 4 months, every day I had to choose the path on my left or right. Even though my head would tell me to go right, my heart would tell me to go left. The best reward was walking across that graduation stage, shaking the professor's hand and saying "I told you."

Since college I got married, traveled the world, and still choose every day to take the path on the left instead of the right. I challenge you to do the same whatever your disability may be, never let it disable you from doing what makes you happy.