My Gym Addiction

It seems like the world is only focused on one thing: looks. I never was interested in working out or how I looked in the clothes I wore. At this time I was 19, going out every night, drinking every weekend. I really only got into fitness because of an ex. I began going to the gym just to do something during the day. After about a week of my free trial, I ended up just going alone. I looked around the gym while I was working out and noticed this woman. She must have been in her late 20s but oh my goodness. She looked perfect. Her body was skinny yet muscular, if you can imagine a little more buffer than most guys. I wanted to be just like her. I did so much research on workouts, supplements I should take. Eight months later, I was just about her size, everyone knew who I was, and I was at the gym for at least two hours a day, six days a week.

Fast forward almost two years I was still doing the same routines. Throughout all this time, the gym became an addiction. I was working 4 AM to 9 AM shifts as a stock person at a store, and would leave work to go lift. Then I'd come home, do what I needed to, and go right back to the gym around 6 PM. I wouldn't go out with friends, missed family parties, and eventually was forgetting who I was. I fell into this depression after I was working out one day I'll never forget. It was storming out so I ended up staying at the gym longer then planned. I went into one of the back rooms where they have a more quiet private space to do your own things. I had my headphones on and didn't have my music playing. There were two girls working out in front of me—they were starring at me while I was getting all of my equipment together. I guess they figured I had my music playing and couldn't hear them, but they whispered saying, "That girl seriously looks like a man. She needs to quit whatever she's taking." I dropped my equipment, looked at them, and walked out.

"I was in great shape," I said to myself in the mirror. I had a perfect flat stomach, toned body, and everyone told me they wished they looked like me. I became upset and hated how I looked every day. I eventually cut out a lot of foods and wasn't really hungry. It took me a long time to figure out that there was nothing wrong with me or how I looked. Of course to some women out there, looking the way I did wasn't ideal. Looking skinny and small was how it was supposed to be, or so that's how the world saw it. Fast forward and I am now 24-years-old with my first born son who is 6 months. I am 5'0" and weigh 110 pounds. When I was 9 months pregnant, I weighed 152 pounds and lost it all in as little as a month. I was also walking on a treadmill still the entire pregnancy, but I learned during that experience what an amazing journey pregnancy really is. I loved that baby bump and was working out and walking the entire pregnancy. In the end I am happy and healthy and continuing my fitness goals in a healthy, smart way.

If I were to give anyone advice, I would tell them this: It is great to have goals and accomplish them, just remember to take your time. Nothing happens overnight. Even the greatest sport stars took years to get to where they are. Keep your mind clear of hatred from others. Everyone judges, so keep your head up and remember who you are. Never change for anyone, and be fit and healthy in a healthy and smart way!