My disability

Since I’ve had my last operation lots of people have been asking what happened or why I need another operation and due to me being stuck in the house bored I thought I would do a blog and hopefully a few more people could understand the condition I have.

I was born in 1977 with a condition called club feet or talipes for some people it can be treated as a child and normally by the time the child starts school has little or no effect on their life but I had a severe case of it so severe my mum was told I would never ever walk. How ever she was put in touch with a new specialist at the law hospital in Lanarkshire a few months later called Mr Sharma who was to become a huge part of my life for many years. With the condition comes other things too I have 1 leg shorter then the other and my pelvis sits at an angle which causes back pain as well as the pain in my feet and legs

Mr sharma gave my mum the options available but the usual gentle manipulation of my feet by this time was not an option and speaking with Mr Sharma later he regards me as a failure I on the other hand don’t.

I am so greatful to him and my mum for deciding to go ahead with the operations as the life I have had up until now in my opinion has been great with some amazing opportunities which would not have been possible had they decided not to go for the operations.

I was in plaster for my first 2 years with a bar between my legs so this meant that all my mobility development was delayed but it could have been worse. When I started school my mum and grandparents were worried about me being bullied because of my condition but my close friends were excellent Kenny Buggy, Damien McKenna, John Cambell, Alison Welsh, Michelle McFadyen, were my closest mates and would never allow anybody to pick on me or bully me because of it and this was the case right through out my school life and am still in contact with them today I’m not saying nobody ever said anything about it or made nasty comments they did but because of my mates at school it didn’t bother me also my mates at home who went to another school Liam Smith, James Murray, John Whiteford and a few more I think the fact they grew up along with me it was just second nature to them to accept it.

During my school life I missed a lot of school especially primary school as a catholic child you go through certain stages growing up and I could have missed out but due to my determination and help from family, friends and school staff I managed to be included in everything my first communion and my first confirmation I was on crutches and I felt very much part of it all.

As a child you don’t really feel the pain but I was in pain everyday and my teachers used to have a heart attack every time they saw me running around or climbing on things because they were frightened I would hurt my feet and have to be off again a teacher called Mrs Cope was the worst and asked my mum once how she stopped me from running and mum told her she couldn’t. One of my worst moments in school was trying to join the school football team which all my mates were in even the girls played football but was never allowed and I stood 1 day staring through the fence crying as all my mates went and played for the school team and I was left behind.

I vowed to myself after that day nobody would ever tell me I couldn’t do anything because of my disability again and if they did I would prove them wrong which I have done on many occasion.

I left school and moved to whitburn after mum met my step dad Donny which at first I wasn’t happy about as I left all my friends behind in Newmains. but it was the best thing ever to happen to us I have a little sister who I felt missed out as when I had my operations most of mums attention was on me but again as a child you don’t see that.

During my childhood I was involved in the youth club and I also was in the newmains outdoor project and the cubs and scouts these were great for me as although the leaders looked out for me they never ever stopped me from doing stuff that everyone else was doing like canoeing off a 50 ft cliff into a river, going camping and hill walking which you may think is nothing but for a kid with severe club feet was amazing to do. I remember going away for the weekend to a place called Arisaig near Malliag North Scotland where the group of us had to show our parents some skills we had learned with the outdoor project 1 of them was 3 of us would connect our canoes together then 1 of us would get out and run around the 3 canoes my mum couldn’t believe I was doing this and had to be calmed down by 1 of the leaders Betty Quinn which I thought was hilarious don’t think she did though.

Anyway I started work and after a few jobs after i left school I got a job in what everyone wants in Livingston where I met my Mags little did I know then she was going to be my life long partner and mother to my 2 kids which when I was a kid if anyone had told me I was going to have a family I would have disagreed because I thought who was going to look twice at me with my condition but she saw something don’t know what but something I had moved out of the family home by now and its here my feet got worse as an adult and as a result needed to start attending the law hospital again.

In 1995 my daughter Jade was born and I was absolutely petrified that she would have the same condition however I needn’t have worried she was perfect and we were over the moon in 1996 my son Declan was born on the lead up to his birth I had the same feelings as I had with jade but i needn’t have worried with him either as his feet were fine also. I needed to go for another operation in the law at the same time we moved into our new home in Seafield where we have been ever since.

Once I was recovered I started a new job with Rock Steady Security in Edinburgh which I loved and have had the pleasure of working with some amazing colleagues who have became great friends I have also had the pleasure and delight to work with the worlds top artists and events its now changed to G4S but I still love the work.

Over the last few years its got extremely difficult for me to keep working and do my volunteering because of the increased pain. Since my kids were born I have done quite a lot of volunteering and helping others which I absolutely love. The list of stuff is endless I’ve been involved in the playgroup, the school board and the pta, helping running the local community centre, the community council, the food co-op and many others.

I was nominated to carry the Olympic torch by some of the people from the village which I am internally greatful for and is a day I will never forget I was so proud and honoured to be part of that event and I couldn’t look at my wife or kids as it was such an emotional day and was trying to hold back the tears some of my family and close friends came over to fife to see me carrying it and I took the torch into some of the local schools the best day of that being pinewood school in Blackburn the special needs school the staff and pupils were amazing I had a great day and the memories will last with me for the rest of my life we even got in touch with the now retired Mr Sharma and he and his wife came to fife also. As if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have had half the life I had.

In 2014 I had the amazing opertunity of being involved in the commonwealth games I volunteered as a driver and was an amazing experience and I met some amzing people who will remain my friends for a very long time. Laura, Bally, Jo, Suzanne, Paul, Simon, Jim to name but a few and most of us got through with out damaging any cars Laura and I ended up on almost every shift and built up a great friendship and we car shared although she was always late and you get strange looks when your sitting in a hotel carpark at all times of the day and night. I was also seeing a new orthopaedic surgeon at St Johns Hospital and I have to undergo another surgery for my right foot this time which is causing me the worst pain. I have to wait until Mr Shalaby has a suitable date to carry out this work as it will be a major operation and require metal plates being put in to my foot and screws up through my heel and some nerves being cut and replaced.

My operation was set for the 23rd December 2 days before xmas which had set back my plans of working through until January as that’s the busiest time for me but with the pain getting worse every day I couldn’t put it off as there was no guarantee when I would get another date for it. So had to tell my work which I had planned to do in the new year I had 2 jobs to tell as I had started doing some driving for Driven Scotland with some old security mates this is a great job driving top of the range cars and being paid for it and with the funniest group of guys. Russell, Martin, Ian, Kenny, David, Andy and a few others but its always 21 degrees in your car whatever the weather outside.

The big day came and my wife mags dropped me off at the hospital I was 1st on the list and was expected back on the ward around midday but I never came back until about 4.30 and was allowed home on Christmas eve thankfully. The operation consisted of a complete restructuring of my right foot with nerves and tendons being moved and stretched my recovery is to be between 6 months to a year depending if its worked or not so I pray everyday that it has. I don’t see Mr Shalaby until next month so hopefully it will be good news when I do and will have a better idea of what’s happening I could never have done this with out Mags and the kids as the after care is essential with non wait bearing for 12 weeks and a further 12 weeks in plaster before physio and stuff and I love you with all my heart every day.

So home after the hospital supposed to be to enjoy Christmas but I was on very strong painkillers and cant remember much of it at all only what I've been told by the family. Because of my strong tablets I couldn’t be left alone in case I did something stupid which I did on numerous occasions like forget I had the operation altogether and attempted to stand up which if I had done would have been a complete disaster and everything I was doing was done in slow motion Mags has a video which she laughs at all the time she thinks its hilarious (I don’t lol). for the first time in 20 years she had me home on Hogmanay and I was a bit more alert and used to the tablets and complained that the TV was crap and no wonder I worked but it was good to be home although I was wondering what was happening at my beloved corn exchange were the staff doing a good job were the venue happy was the corn exchange staff being looked after by the security team its very hard to forget about something when you’ve done it for so long.

My recovery was slow which we were told but a bit too slow for me as I’m not 1 to be lying around doing nothing watching daytime TV (bloody Jeremy Kyle) after a few check up appointments I saw Mr Shalaby again and had an in depth discussion about my working life which didn’t go the way I had hoped and was devastated to hear that his advice was to give up security altogether a job I had done for 20 years which I loved. I went into a bit of a depression thinking that’s me stuck behind a desk for the rest of my life which is a fine job but just not for me im an outdoor guy dealing face to face with the public however I needn’t have worried too much as Driven Scotland offered me full time work. Obviously it was an easy choice driving top of the range car’s, outdoors and meeting new people everyday.

The hours are long sometimes but for what we do its paid well and the drivers are all appreciated and well looked after the only thing im still trying to get used to is on some jobs we need to stay away in hotels but im sure i’ll get used to it ive always gone home from work sometimes in the very early hours but still i’ve always went home . I was asked to do a film in the summer called tommy’s honour which is the story of golf’s founding father and son Tommy Morris. The cast and crew were superb and had a fantastic time and made some fantastic freindships Max Deacon Paul Tinto who were nicknamed max and paddy and such a laugh Louise Rashman who wore THE best leggings ever, Therese Bradley and young Dash Connery who’s dad Jason was the director and his project. There are a few more like Jack who plays young Tommy and Ophelia Lovibond who played the lead female Meg Drinnen and the other drivers Martin who owns the company with Russell, Gerry McKinnon and my old mate Ian McBain.

After that it was on to the next few projects with them a production for the bbc and Outlander which is a massive show where even the regular drivers have a fan page. The hours on Outlander are very long and don’t know how the fulltime drivers Andy, Davie, Euan, Peter, Martin and Kenny do it everyday for months on end I only drive on it when its out on location but its a great cast and crew also. so were now off on Xmas holidays but its going to be another busy year next year I think right from the beginning of January so I’m looking forward to that.

In between times I had gone to work alongside another friend I had made through the years Andy Macdougall with his wife Lorna at the Edinburgh international art fayre at the Edinburgh corn exchange and had a great time over the 4 days and look forward to working with them again in the future and the exhibitors also who are fabulous too.

I’m still involved in lots of volunteering in the community which when I’m not working takes up a lot of my time but I love it and there is always a challenge to overcome ! of the challenges just now is trying to get more of the community into the bowling club which is struggling as many others are so with the committee we are trying our best to keep it going and with my other commitments like the community council, community centre management committee its all go and I’m so glad and so grateful that I can still have the opportunities to work and volunteer as at the beginning of the year it looked like I wasn’t going to be able to do anything.

As always stay safe #stayhomesaveslives