LIVING WITH A COVID-19

I have never been the type to share my thoughts, or surface stories of things I have experienced in my life, on any social media platform. Due to public scrutiny, and fears of being judged. I was apprehensive in voicing my opinions and expressing myself. But this time around is different; a pandemic was lighting up the world and has hit closer to home than expected. My father had fallen victim to COVID-19, and it has flipped my world upside down. So I feel it is imperative to share my emotions and thoughts on this, for the world to continue to have faith in humanity. Therefore, I am voicing out hope and faith to those with no voice, and for those at this time that feel defeated. I hope my story finds you, and gives you perspective and the strength to keep fighting at your weakest moments, and embrace and always cherish family, life and gratitude.

It has been exactly a week now from today, bringing my dad into the emergency room. He started to feel ill just two days prior. Currently living at home with your parents, you are obligated to spend time with them and helping out anyway you can. Being that they are older now, I try to spend as much time with them as possible. I remember vividly just how everything played out. I was in our family room, watching Netflix with my mom. As cliche as I hate for that to sound, it is exactly what went on. With my parent’s room attached to the family room we could see exactly what was about to unfold. My dad voiced out he felt ill: headache, aching throughout his body, fever and chills etc… I did not panic and made my way into the kitchen, to make him a drink that many people from the South use, as a remedy for flu/cold. A drink called “hot toddy”. It is a mixture of hot water, lemon, honey and whiskey. I guess after years of working at a medical center as a nursing assistant, you just see far worse things, and become immune to what the healthcare world exposes you of.

During a time like this, when everyone’s health is compromised is not the time to be selfishly acting. Immediately following, my mom and I got dressed. I take the keys and take every bit of precaution necessary entering his car. I spray everything down with disinfectant: Steering wheel, the shift stick, seats, back seat passenger seat etc… Luckily enough, I never had to worry about my mom following suit. I cannot stress enough just how significant disinfecting is; whether it be the door knobs, washing your hands, it saves you in the long run. Although, COVID-19 is more than just hand washing alone; it is always essential to practice good hygiene.

Driving up to the hospital where I once worked, I could not believe how desolate it appeared to be. What once was a domain for the ill/injured to seek refuge, has now solely become a place filled with despair. It terrified me just how SURREAL it was; we were amidst a pandemic. Something I could not fathom nor wanted to comprehend fully at the time. As I pulled up to the emergency section, we were instructed to remain in the car by a valet worker, until medical personnel came out. A nurse then came out, asking who the affected person was. She then began assessing my dad and delved into procedural questions. She proceeded to ask my father basic questions about: height, weight, age. Furthermore into questions such as: symptoms he felt, if he had taken any medications, when he was feeling all of it, and checking vital signs(blood pressure, heart rate, pulse). We were informed to stay in the car until further notice. After the nurse had left, it put us into a bit of shock and became irritated with my father, and rightfully so.

We started to point the finger, and was incessant about why he refused to listen at the time he was told not to go into work and to just rest; that all of this could have been prevented. It became so pestering to the point that he lashed out all his negativity and spoke of things, irrelevant to the argument. After the constant blaming, I could see a man walking up to the car pushing a wheelchair, and tapered over it, was a white sheet that covered it completely. The man was ready to take my dad to the neighboring lot filled with large white tents for patients.

I drove off to park at an empty space and sat anxiously waiting for the outcome alongside my mother. Exhausted after everything, my eyes slowly began to shut and fell asleep in the car. My mom however, was too nervous and worried. After about an hour and a half had passed. I woke up to my dad knocking on the window. With a stutter worry in his words, he opens the door to tell us. He was positive for COVID-19. With a stressful sigh. I drove off, just eagerly waiting to get home and get to bed. It was about almost 4 am getting home and we were all restless. We did our part ensuring he was comfortable in the room, providing him with water at the time, and at this point he just needed sleep and to rest.

Tuesday afternoon, his emergency room nurse made a follow up phone call stating my dad needed to be quarantined in his room for the initial 7 days, and that if his symptoms persist, an additional 7 days were to be implemented in the process.

Since last Monday, my mom, brother and I have been diligently working together for a smooth transition in our daily routine since the quarantine came into effect. Ever since my father tested positive for COVID-19, it made us realize that at a blink of an eye, just how quickly things can take a turn for the worse and to never take anything for granted. My mother, turning 63 this June has slowly been recovering from a meniscus tear, that she acquired overtime working 12 hour shifts, 5-6 days a week as a nurse. Sometimes, I just take a moment to pause and appreciate, just how strong my mother has been through all this. Of course, there have been days where she is feeling defeat, but with continuous prayers, waving through our family worldwide, it brings a sense of comfort, just how alive everyone is during a crisis. My father’s condition has been unpredictable and unstable. You never know what to expect the next day. Sometimes his symptoms surface; minimal appetite, a steer in moods, and weakness in the body. Then the next, an uplift in his mood, and more energy. I have recognized that COVID-19 comes in different levels of severity, as well as comorbidities. So, to say that COVID-19 is always fatal, would be false.

I have so many thoughts and emotions running through me. With everything going on in the world, and with everything going on in my home. I have managed to stay afloat through this pandemic. With the help and support of my friends, family and partner I am blessed in knowing that the good people in my life remain a constant anchor in my readiness to fight whatever comes my way. I have hope for a better day each day, and I hope for peace in this world.

For those reading this, and especially for the younger generation. I want you to know how blessed I am and thankful for my experience. Despite the chaos surrounding me, I am fortunate to have a roof over my head, lungs to breathe, eyes to see, fingers to type this experience to be able to share with all of you. A mouth so I can eat, a mother who has been our solid rock for love and support, and a brother who has continuously displayed characteristics of a humbling and loving man, and a father learning from his mistake.

With my father affected by this COVID-19, this has been one of the most frightening times for my family. But with continuous prayers, ample support, togetherness, we fight to keep hope, strength and faith alive. We also pray for the rest of the world to be healed and one day united. As a human race, may we all continue to fight collectively to form a nation of unselfish, unconditional love and respect for every person, of a different creed, color, professional status and race. This is my story...