Life being partially deaf

My name is Shawn, currently at work at my overnight job as a security guard as I was typing this and gathering up thoughts to add to this story. I’m a guy with a hearing impairment trying and striving to reach my fullest potential in life, hurdling every possible obstacles on the roadway to achieve greatness, and even have days where I want to be on pause after going day to day trying to reach my goals when they’re not in reach. I’ve lost my hearing when i was at a young age, in both ears. I’ve got an ear infection in my left ear, but according to my mom and what she had told me, I have damaged my right ear with a Q-tip. I so happened to find it somewhere, picked it up and massaged my ear before damaging it. My mom had to take me to the clinic to have the doctor remove the broken Q-tip lodged in my ear. It was completely black for the fact of it being in my ear for a long period of time. Have I had been aware at a young age of my crazy doings and knew it would affect my life in a moderate way, Of course i wouldn’t have done it. I was only a baby and babies tend to not know what they getting themselves into. I just wish my mom was extra careful with me and what’s in my surroundings. I even got a lifelong scar on my right forearm for accidentally hurting myself playing around a damaged furniture. All I can say was life must’ve been rough for me back then even though I don’t remember much of what happened. My hearing complication, left me unable to make a sound and it’s been that way for a minute until my mom realize something was wrong. I had to attend to a speech therapist to learn the English language. I couldn’t remember half of what I went through as a young kid because at a young age, your brain isn’t fully developed and doesn’t have the capacity to store all of those memories. I was able to talk thanks to the therapist, I know for sure it’s been rough. Life as a hard of hearing person is not a pleasant one. Half of the time, i would have to ask the person to repeat the things they tell me and sometimes they would get frustrated to the point to where they would just say, “never mind don’t worry about it!” It bothers me sometimes. I used to feel ashamed of the impediment for the fact that a very small percentage of the world’s population have this problem. My speech isn’t clear enough either and oftentimes, I would have to repeat myself for the person to understand what i’m telling them. Covid 19 came around, and it got worst for me. I had to tell every individual i come across to bring down their mask so I can read their lips and understand what’s been said. It just disturbs me how institutions, jobs, and even regular everyday people don’t even bother to do their research on a clear lense mask and encourage the usage of them in consideration for the hearing impaired. I should’ve have to remind anyone about this. Now, after all these years of having to wear hearing aids and later realizing that hearing aids aren’t fully effective due to the loud background noise, I’m in the process of receiving the cochlear implant (ear) surgery to improve every areas of my life: social life, school, work, regular interactions. Wish me luck on my surgery, i would surely appreciate it!