Letting Go

“Stay home, stay safe.” “Self-quarantine.” “Social-distance.” “Required to wear a mask to enter.” “Six-feet apart.” These words and phrases have become a social standard in the year 2020, a never ending headline. COVID-19 has brought the world to a grinding halt and created a new normal. 2020 was the year for jobs to go remote. The year for people to stay away from each other and participate remotely in activities. There were some bonuses to everything being shut down: more time with the people that we live with, more time to focus on hobbies and home improvements, and more time to binge watch our favorite shows. Yet many would say this year has been one of the worst of their lives. Many lost loved ones. Furloughed jobs turned into unemployment. Stimulus money ran out. Isolation created a healthy physical environment, but also the perfect breeding grounds for both anxiety. 2020 is a year that will go down in the history books.

But as with every year, after exactly 365 days, that chapter comes to a close. A new year is ushered in: 2021. In most cases, a new year entails new year’s resolutions. The majority of these are related to discipline in our habits and attitudes. We want to lose weight and eat healthy, get more sleep, spend less time on social media, spend more time with family and friends, pick up a new hobby. We want to end the year knowing that we did something different and have become someone a little healthier, more skilled, and more diversified. It’s a goal that sometimes sticks and sometimes doesn’t. I’ve been there, done that for both. One year I decided that I would not watch any Netflix by myself for the entire year. I did that. Another year I decided I wanted to do a different fun activity every month. I managed that too. Yet other times, I have wanted to go to the gym more and eat healthier. That didn’t happen. I wanted to make more meals at home myself. Nope that didn’t happen either. Each time, I just wanted to be slightly different or add a few new experiences to my life. I never thought to tackle something that affects me on an hour by hour basis.

This year, I have decided on a fresh start of a different type. This resolution focuses on attitude. What 2020 highlighted for many was the significance of mental health in our lives. The effect of isolating ourselves from people and halting our lives was detrimental to the psyche in many ways. As one counselor told me, “basically every person living in 2020 can say that they have had anxiety about something.” For me this was true. Being around people made me wonder if I was about to catch the virus. Any little sneeze, sniffle, or cough made me think I was about to die. I worried about whether I would still have work to go to or be even capable of performing the work I was required to adapt to. That makes sense. But what hasn’t been focused on is the years leading up to 2020, where I suffered from having generalized anxiety. My mind festered on the what-if’s; my thoughts would spin out of control about the worst possible outcome. This was never healthy. I worked for quite some time over the years with learning not only how to cope with this anxiety, which included medication and behavior change, but also to thrive. 2020 was quite a setback. But for 2021, I have committed myself to having this year to be the year of letting go- letting go of the what-if’s and worst-case scenarios. I’ve decided I have had enough of these spirals. No more allowing myself to dwell and continue in these trains of thought. This year I can be both positive and realistic. It might be the healthiest new year’s resolution I have ever made.

I wonder if 2021 should have some new phrases. “Live positive.” “Striving for healthy minds and attitudes.” “Let the negative go.” “Never give up.” “Look out for your neighbor.” Could 2021 can be the year that we look at our own mental health statuses and strive to be the best versions of ourselves? Could it be the year known for checking in on one another and fostering an entire community committed to psychological and emotional well-being? It's up to us to decide what will fill the headlines and history books' next chapter. 2021 could go down in history too, but this time for giving our minds a fresh start, a clean slate, and an uplifted spirit.