How to Find Things to Look Forward to While Socially Isolated

As we enter the third year of isolation, I finally took some action. Actually, it’s the first year for us, but you know what I mean. I know that, depending on where you are in the world, the schedule may be different for you. This has affected many of you much longer than us. But the problems and principles are the same.

We’re bored. And we're not out of the woods yet.

Not only that, but the days have slid into a sameness that is depressing. I met a neighbor in the street one afternoon last week as we took out the trash bins. He looked at me like a man doomed and said, “Well, I guess I’ll go to bed now.” The seeming lack of anything to do was sending him off to sleep at five in the afternoon.

Not good.

I understand the need for, and the logic behind, social isolation, but I think we need to change some things, even if in our own minds, to stay sane. I live in an over-55 community, and we probably have a higher percentage of at-risk individuals than most, but surviving the pandemic holds little value if depression and isolation create worse problems. I’m not saying end the isolation but end the desolation.

We need to start inside our own heads. For people that still work, the change has been more radical. But for us, and most of our neighbors, a lot of the changes are mental. For instance, many in our community, including the man I met at the curb on trash day, spend the evenings at home watching television. So what changed? Nothing, except perhaps for what we watch. And that’s the first change I think we need to implement. Stop watching the news. Clear your social media feeds of the rubbish.

I get it. It’s bad and getting worse. I don’t need to be told that every five minutes all day long.

And while we’re at it, how about dropping that ugly red blob every news station has as a backdrop. You could also lose the video of those guys in hazmat suits steam cleaning the streets. We’re already depressed. Stop beating us over the head with it.

Get back to what you are good at, trashing Trump and keeping us informed about the royal family.

But I digress. For us retired folk, we first need to acknowledge and be grateful for what hasn’t changed. We used to stay home most nights and watch television. That we now have to stay home and watch television doesn’t really change that.

So, as much as possible, stick to a normal schedule. Don’t just lie about the house all day, unless that’s what you did before. And certainly don’t just stay in bed. I spoke a bit about this in my work from home article, but it bears repeating. Get up, shower, shave or put on make-up if that’s your custom, and get dressed. Do whatever you used to do while you were at home. That part hasn’t changed.

Next, we need to address the future. Thinking that tomorrow will always be the same as today is discouraging. So change it up. I know that in some areas, they don’t allow you to drive anywhere non-essential, but that particular restriction hasn’t hit here yet. So why not go for a drive? You can be just as socially isolated in your car as in your home. I’m not talking about blowing a tank of gas on an all-day journey. Just head out every other day for a thirty-minute drive. See that the world is still out there. Put that on your calendar and to-do lists, so you have something to look forward to.

I was on one of my many daily walks around the community when another neighbor came driving up, grinning. “What are you so happy about?” I asked. “I had to drive across town to meet a lawyer,” she said. I can’t think of anything that would make me smile less than meeting with a lawyer, but I got it. She had seen the world. Spring is popping up all over. The pear, cherry, and Japanese magnolias know nothing of a virus and are blooming everywhere. She got to see that and it made her day. Probably made her week.

Several of our neighbors are having all of their groceries delivered. For some, this isn’t a change. But we are still making a weekly or biweekly trip to the market, partially because we have taken on caring for some shut-ins. In our area, we are fortunate that the stores are getting stocked regularly and the hoarders seem to be satisfied with their five-year supply of toilet paper.

Honestly, our shopping trips aren’t much fewer than they used to be, but the focus and implementation have changed. We now take many precautions before, during, and after the trip to ensure safety and sanitation for ourselves and others. Instead of maybe picking up a couple of items, our lists are more focused, including specific things our neighbors need. “Is that a 4 or 10 lb bag of sugar you need? If we can’t find eggs, is there something else?” Several neighbors have joined the movement to make masks for health-care workers, so we are always on the lookout for their supplies. And I added those trips to our calendar.

We almost never ate out for dinner before the crisis, so that hasn’t changed, but we always went out for lunch. Every day. We miss that the most, so we go out a few days a week for takeout. There are several locally-owned restaurants in the area that we would truly hate to see go under. So three times a week, I have added some of those places to our list of things to do, again, taking proper cautions.

This has all been sort of ad hoc so far. This is a new world for us and we are still charting untested waters, if you don’t mind mixing a couple of metaphors. But today, I am changing that. I cranked up my calendar software and created a new one called Social Isolation. I wanted to call it something else, maybe anti-social isolation, but you get the point.

On the weekly view of this new calendar, I added our walks and the trips to the store. I plugged in lunch takeout on a few days. I wanted to make one day special, so I scheduled a late breakfast at home Sunday morning, followed by a trip to the store and takeout all on the same day. I capped that off with a movie at our clubhouse. It will be one of our old DVDs and we’ll probably watch it alone, although I am hoping we can invite another couple or two. There is plenty of room to create personal space and the room is stocked with Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, and gloves.

When I finished, I printed out the calendar and stuck it to the fridge. Looking at it, I realize just how busy my week looked. I realize that everyone’s circumstances are different and that the conditions from place to place differ. But I don’t think it is as bleak as the media pundits would have us believe. So I have my calendar.

And every day, we have something to look forward to.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I found a couple of mismatched socks I need to deal with.

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