0. Don't Drink Coffee

As a young person, I haven’t had as many life experiences as an old wise person that one would expect to hear life advice from. I suppose the reason I am writing this is because I want it to be a rule book for the rest of my life. I am making a prescription to myself, and offering guidelines (or suggestions) to others on how they may improve their current state of being.

I am not a licensed medical professional, I am just a scatter-brained twenty-something with a lot of spare time. This is as much a meditation on the first quarter of my life as it is a way for me to offer help, guidance, suggestion, or alternate perspectives on life.

I am numbering this section "zero" because I think it is not so much a lesson or rule that I want everyone to follow. Rather, it is a guide on how to read the rest of what I have to offer.

0. Don't Drink Coffee

“You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you." -Mark Twain

My intention with this section is not to rewrite Kant’s “Categorical Imperative”. These two big words refer to a rule that Immanuel Kant proposed in The Groundwork of the Metaphysics of Morals. This rule was something that he believed should be implemented in all situations (hence “Categorical”), and that it is not optional, but mandated, (hence “imperative”). So what’s this rule that must be applied all the time and everywhere?

It’s not so much a rule as much as it is a way in which one should evaluate the morality of their actions. The way to act morally, says Kant, is to act according to rules that you believe should be universal. In other words, when you act according to a rule, you need to ask yourself if that rule should be followed by everyone in the world. If you shoplift a small item from a drugstore, do you think everyone should start doing that? No? Then shoplifting is probably not very moral. If you help your neighbor haul in their groceries, do you think everyone should help theirs? Yes? Well, you get the idea. Don’t worry. Remember, I said I’m NOT trying to rewrite this or force people to learn and live this.

Take a look at the title of this article. I’m willing to bet that you laughed and said “Yeah, sorry, I’m not gonna stop drinking coffee.” Okay, why not? I haven’t drank coffee habitually at any point in my life. In fact, I could probably count on one hand the number of cups of coffee I’ve had in my life. I don’t even need hands to count how many dollars I’ve spent on coffee. Some days are harder than others, but in general I have no problem feeling awake in the morning. I’m not impatient with people, and I don’t get sleepy during the day. It also helps that I don’t like the taste of the stuff.

“Very interesting, but not all of us operate that way.”

I’m well aware of this. I know that it’s a bit odd that I don’t consume the world’s most popular beverage. This is why there’s no way in hell that I’d immediately recommend that everyone should copy me. It would create a world of cranky and tired zombies. Productivity would plummet, socialization would become a nightmare, and we'd have no Starbucks to exploit for free Wi-Fi.

On the other hand, I know there are some people out there that are just like me, who don’t feel the need to drink cup after cup, day after day, dollar after dollar. There is also a group of people who have developed a habit of drinking coffee to raise their energy and awareness despite the fact that they know that it also raises their anxiety levels. And what about those decaf folks? They enjoy the taste of coffee without the need for caffeine. Those psychopaths...

There really are people out there might see a positive outcome in following my rule of not drinking coffee, but plenty of others that would be negatively affected by it. My point here is that, like all advice in life, some will benefit more than others from following the ideas that I share throughout this series of articles. I’m not going to the same extreme as Kant and say that everyone, in all situations, must not drink coffee. I want the reader to remember that this is life advice from a young person who has seen benefits in his life from these tips. What I request is that you remain open-minded as you read the rest of my tips, but don't tumble down a rabbit-hole of bad habits if you find that some advice doesn't work for you. I believe that anyone will at least have a good time as they read this, as long as it gets them thinking, or even makes them laugh.