You can't stand people: here's how to fix it

Some people can't stand socializing with others because they find it too uncomfortable, challenging and unhelpful. Although this situation seems irreversible, the truth is that much can be done to overcome it.

To begin with, you have to identify the cause that leads an individual to not tolerate people. From then on, you have to work internally to change that circumstance.

Understanding what happens to you

If pressure and worries overwhelm you, it is common to feel irritability. Often, what may seem like a lack of patience with others is actually a reflection of your emotional state and not necessarily a personality trait. It is important to stop and reflect on whether this tendency has always been present or whether it has arisen with increased stress.

Instead of distressing yourself about your social behavior, focus on lowering your stress levels. Review your habits and priorities, incorporate relaxation techniques, and be sure to set aside time for leisure and rest. By releasing tension, your social tolerance and well-being are likely to improve naturally.

Introverted people often feel fatigued after long interactions. In fact, they need moments of solitude to recharge their energies.

First, accept your need for quiet. There is nothing wrong with preferring quiet to constant stimulation. However, it is critical that you strike a balance between your alone time and your social interactions. Be selective about the people you associate with and choose environments that you find pleasant.

If you have experienced intense conflict, rejection or betrayal in the past, you may find it difficult to trust others today. These experiences leave an imprint on the way you view people and relationships, creating a kind of emotional wall that protects you from the pain you have already felt.

Psychotherapy can be a valuable tool for healing those wounds and mitigating their effects. It also allows you to approach new social interactions gradually, choosing those who make you feel safe.

Your values, interests and beliefs may differ from those around you. If they value aspects that you do not share, or vice versa, it is understandable that you may not feel connected or comfortable in their company, especially if you feel they do not enrich you.

In this sense, the work is twofold and complementary. On the one hand, it is essential that you seek relationships with people who, to some extent, share your vision and way of life. At the same time, it is crucial to maintain an open and tolerant attitude towards differences, always respecting your own limits.

Self-knowledge

You may think you are antisocial because you find it extremely uncomfortable interacting with other people or sharing a space. In the field of psychology, there are two terms to distinguish: antisocial and asocial.

The term antisocial refers to those individuals who defy social norms and disregard the needs and rights of others. People with antisocial personality disorder often lack empathy, are impulsive and, on many occasions, act in an aggressive or manipulative manner.

On the other hand, having an asocial inclination is simply a personality trait that does not involve violent or destructive behavior. In fact, it is not considered a personality disorder. Rather, it is a lack of interest in participating in social activities and seeking the company of others.

An asocial person is someone who has little interest in social relationships and chooses to enjoy their own company. It is not that they lack the ability to socialize, but that they prefer to avoid social situations whenever they can. For them, activities such as reading, watching movies or engaging in hobbies at home are much more seductive than participating in social events or meetings with other people.

A person with this tendency may have friends, although it is likely to be a small circle. He or she may not participate in activities with them on a regular basis. Highly stimulating environments are often uncomfortable for those with asocial traits. By choice, they are more likely to opt for quiet places, such as museums, temples or libraries. They may also find pleasure in natural landscapes where the density of people is not as high as in urban areas.