Two years, Three Public Speaking Clubs. Here Is What I Have Learned About Public Speaking

Slay the Dragon

Repulse the words “Public Speaking”? You are not alone. This post is written by a guy who feared public speaking throughout his life.

To make you feel better, 73% of the global population struggles with a certain level of fear of public speaking. Yeah, you are in the majority.

Okay this is getting silly, public speaking is worse than death for most.

It’s way bigger, more dangerous, than Coronavirus, though it plagues us in a different way.

Can’t remember how many times I put it into my “New Year Resolutions” under “The Dragons to be Slain”. It’s never been slain. Every single time, it jumps out, grimaces, teases, devours me.

My family moved to Southern California in 2018. It’s the home of Toastmasters Clubs for people looking to fight the fear of public speaking.

I never heard about the name Toastmasters before. After attending a couple of open houses, I signed up for one club in early 2019. Three months later, I joined another one. When Covid pushed all the meetings to Zoom, I embraced the virtual era and signed up for the third one— I am sick and tired of being hunted by this dragon, I am going to run after it.

I barely missed any meetings and training in the past two years. I can say I am a better public speaker now. But this is not the theme of this article. It’s not a journal, nor a review.

Toastmasters highlights three core values throughout all its programs: Public Speaking (PS), Communication(CM), and Leadership(LD). I was intrigued. Alongside the meetings and training, I made some observations and research to seek the dynamic relationship between the three terms. The study is still ongoing but I have had some findings. They may sound counterintuitive in regard to what’s consensus about the three values, but they help make my PS exercise simpler and more effective.

In this article, I want to shed some light on PS, untangle it a bit from CM and LD. Maybe it doesn’t have to bear so many goals. Maybe it’s just another exercise, like Yoga or running. Maybe it will make the dragon a little less monstrous, the fight less intimidating.

Maybe, after all, the dragon is just ourselves.

Please take it with a grain of salt. For those who are fighting the dragon of PS, I am here with you forever. Hopefully, these findings will help you advance a bit in the fight.

Throwing Yourself to The Public Is Easier Than You Think (Don’t run from the dragon, face it!)

Toastmasters International is founded in California, U. S. in 1924. It’s now a worldwide nonprofit organization that helps people conquer the fear of public speaking and improve leadership skills. Just passing the 95th anniversary in 2020, it now has over 357k members in more than 16,600 clubs and 143 countries.

When I first saw it, its mission statement, “improve public speaking”, got my attention. With a $7.5/month membership fee, I can have one meeting per week, access online training programs, and meet a lot of fellow members with the same interests.

In my previous career, whether through self-assessment or colleagues, I was pretty good at communication. But I was a very poor public speaker. The symptoms were common: An okay talker when faced with individuals or friends; once thrown to the public, the disconnect between my thoughts and my mouth becomes a dark abyss. I always blurt out wrong words, or fillers like ahs, ems, you-knows. I want to kick myself right after the speech because I only delivered 10% of what I wanted to say, the rest is just gibberish.

WTF, the true ending line of my speech, each time. I just swallow it so they won’t hear.

If you now have confusion between CM and PS, you should really keep reading.

$7.5/month was a no-brainer, the public speaking scenarios were all real (we turned to zoom meetings after Covid). Coming to face my dragon has never been easier. Soon I joined another two Toastmasters clubs. So I had more chances to come up to the stage, speak the damn speaking.

After two years, over 60 public speeches at three clubs, I am still fighting the dragon. But I am always thrilled feeling the dragon in my mind retreat a bit for every second I stand behind the lectern. It doesn’t really matter what you speak about and how well you have prepared,

Just stand there, that’s all that matters.

The real audience has magical power. It may destroy you the very second you stand there, but you can’t grow without that very second. If you’re writing consistently you will know it. There are days that you feel you are the sh*ttest writer in the world. Keep writing, one day it will hit you that you are so much better than the crappy writer six months ago.

A Good Public Speaker Is Just Halfway Through Communication

It caught my attention that Toastmasters tries to build a strong bond between the three skills: PS, CM, and LD. They always come together.

Do they really?

How are they connected? Do they guarantee one another? If I am a good public speaker, then I will be a good communicator, then I am a good leader? Is this thought sequence legitimate?

I tried to find a way to illustrate it. Thankfully, Toastmasters has made the illustration a bit simpler. It’s all about information flowing among people. So I made this chart.

It shows two points:

When it comes to information flow, speaking is one-way traffic, while communication is two-way, and leading has many two-ways. As for leadership, there are many more qualities beyond the communication circle, to name some, vision, intelligence, integrity, responsibility, and perseverance. And a personal note, I strongly believe the once-per-life opportunity could work as a trigger to generate great leaders, who would otherwise be disguised forever.

In the communication circle, PS is just a basic element in LD, really basic. A good public speaker is one step closer to a good leader. But drawing an equation between public speaking and leadership is alarmingly misleading.

Along with the membership, I am also the officer of the three clubs at a variety of positions (President, VP of Education, VP of Public Relation). Toastmasters meetings and officer works have largely helped me understand the interaction between the three skills.

All the officers are voluntary. But taking the positions is still a promise nevertheless, you shouldn’t voluntarily less deliver it.

I have seen some officers stay up the whole night to prepare a speech (they are not born lazy), but wouldn’t bother to fulfill their basic duty for the club.

Great speech delivered, the audience is truly influenced. But are they great leaders?

Some great speakers are so eloquent on the stage but have zero communication after the speech.

Meanwhile, there are some members and officers. They are not good speakers at all, but they have great CM with fellow members. They serve the club with heart. They influence the club and members in such a positive way, that in fact, they are the real leaders of the club.

These findings got me excited. If they don’t fully guarantee one another, how much are the intersections?

Public Speaking Has Little, If Any, To Do With Leadership

I know it’s a highly unpopular opinion.

I went further to make three circles to represent the numbers of the three skills in two formats: number of people and number of activities.

We can see all the different kinds of people and activities in life in each section. The intersection between good speakers and good leaders, maybe surprising to many, is pretty small.

There is a middle section, communication. It shows that a good leader is more likely to be a good communicator than a good speaker. This is in line with my observation: CM is a more important skill for effective LD. A leader might be able to lead the team forward, for example, even she is not a good speaker. But she can’t survive with a poor CM.

This finding will guide the focus of my PS practice.

It’s great if one day I find myself in the little intersection that connects all three circles. It won’t bother me if not, though, as my goal is to slay the PS dragon. It’s like a bodybuilder who doesn’t have to envy a runner for the stamina — he has his own power zone.

When public speaking becomes an on-stage performance

I also observed some fallacies in the PS practice:

· They believe that a good public speaker is in possession of leadership skills. The reversal order might be right, but this claim is simply delusional.

· They generate a false sense of achievement: good speaker -> good leader.

· They encourage the pursuit of on-stage performance, not communication skills in real life. Search “Toastmasters Champion Speeches” at Youtube and see the comments below.

· They don’t help to build dynamic thinking. Why? Because they think acting is the key. Nothing is wrong with the acting, only it has little to do with LD.

In the business world, we always hear “idea is cheap, execution is valuable.” I would add, in leadership, “PS is cheap, CM is valuable”. This might be my biased defense as in my career, I am a better communicator than a public speaker. But it wouldn’t stop me from pursuing speaking skills, nor would it have me give up the communication skills.

Poor communication is more alarming a flaw than poor public speaking. As the saying goes:

“Lack of communication ruins everything.” (quote, unknown origin)

These findings help me a lot to take some weight off Toastmasters. A PS club is not an LD school. It’s more a mental workout for me than a crash course of LD.

With a clearer, lower goal, I feel more poised and confident practicing my PS.

Conclusion

A great leader is most likely a great public speaker;

A great public speaker doesn’t suffice, by far, to make a great leader.

Something sounds amiss? Or discouraging, as it seems I’m writing to help slay the dragon? But for those who’ve hopped on the wagon of PS and thought you are heading to great LD, think again.

Maybe you can give your trip a clearer, lower goal so that you are more focused.

Maybe PS is just another exercise, like workout or running. You don’t have to come back feeling you will save the world, just feeling your chest pumped after a shower or endorphins flow in the brain. You are healthier and happier.

I am totally okay that I will never be a great speaker. What really matters is I am a better public speaker today than yesterday, I am gaining control on the dragon battlefield.

Let’s do it together. It’s a squad of 73% human beings.