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The psychology of love is very complex

love and psychology

By lusy Lusy.qw1Published about a year ago 5 min read

The psychology of love is very complex, intertwined with biological, psychological, and social aspects that specify how one feels and expresses love. The following is a list of the most salient psychological principles which promote love:  

Oxytocin: Acts generally through the prevalent use when it's medically labeled in hormones as a ''love hormone. It, however, takes part significantly in the main function of bonding through physical touch during childbirth and breastfeeding. It also strengthens emotional connections between partners beyond trust, empathy, or social bonding. 

  Dopamine: This reward system activates the brain through dopamine while having a high effect on which we usually define an act of falling in love. Hence, dopamine is concerned with pleasure, motivation, and learning associated with reinforcement rewarding romantic experiences by becoming addictive.

Serotonin: This is the neurotransmitter in charge of modulating the mood. In the early stages of love, a person experiences fluctuation in serotonin levels, which can result in almost ecstatic feelings or obsessiveness. Irregularities in serotonin can also contribute to mood shifts in a love relationship.

Endorphins: The "feel-good" chemicals released naturally during cuddling, and coziness such as hugs or kisses they create; promote fulfillment and happiness over a long time with others in their relationships. 

The study of love comprises psychological theories regarding why and when we fall in love. 

Triangular Theory of Love (Robert Sternberg)**: Sternberg established that love consists of three components: 

Intimacies (emotional closeness), 

Passion (physical attraction and sexual desire), and 

Commitment (the decision to maintain the relationship).

Attachment Theory (John Bowlby): This theory seeks to account for the impact of early experience with caregivers on attachment style in adult relationships. Bowlby elaborated on four major attachment styles:

Secure: Comfortable and capable of intimacy; independent.

Anxious: Preoccupation with relationships, abandonment fearing.

Avoidant: Difficulty in intimacy and emotional closeness.

Disorganized: A mix of anxious and avoidant behaviors.

Those early attachment patterns make the link through which one would later connect to romantic partners in adult life.

Social Exchange Theory: Love and relationships are based on some cost-benefit analysis. Individuals bring emotional resources or benefits (for example, attachment, companionship, etc.) in that they may consider the costs (for instance, some burdens or conflicts) when weighing how they make sacrifices. A person is more likely to stay in a relationship where the perceived rewards outweigh the costs Emotional and Cognitive Factors: 

Attraction: Most of the time, people are attracted to other people similar to them (between similarity attraction hypothesis), physical appearance (the halo effect), or give them benefits or resources (social exchange theory). Physical appearance could make a strong initial attraction; however, as time passes, emotional compatibility is more dominant.

Cognitive Dissonance: At times, people manage to convince themselves that they are in love to lessen the feeling of discomfort or inconsistency between feelings and actions. For instance, someone in a relationship could start feeling doubt but would tend to rationalize these feelings to reduce cognitive dissonance.

John Bowlby's Attachment Theory is about how your relationships in early childhood with your primary caregivers affect the style of that attachment concerning adult relationships. Bowlby identified four attachment styles as a result:

Secure: Comfortable with intimacy and independence

Anxious: Jumps over relationships with fears of abandonment

Avoidant: Having trouble getting emotionally close or intimate

Disorganized: A blend of anxious and avoidant behavior types resulting from trauma or inconsistent caregiving

Generally, these early patterns that develop become relevant in forming romantic relationships later in an individual's life.

Social Exchange Theory: According to this theory, love and relationships exist in a cost-benefit analysis. Benefits accrue to people (niceties, company, and help while costing effort, ability to sacrifice, and conflict, in that order). Thus, when the benefits outweigh the costs, people are more predisposed to remaining in a relationship.

Emotional and cognitive variables

Attraction: In such cases, we are most often attracted to similar individuals (similarity attraction hypothesis), and physically attractive ones (the halo effect), and use those who are of value to us in terms of resources and benefits (social exchange theory). Physical looks tend to act as a potent draw that may elicit a very quick interest, over time, though, emotional compatibility tends to matter more.

Cognitive dissonance: Sometimes people lie to themselves so as to make a theme of being madly in love. In this case, the inconsistency between their attitude and their action will pose discomfort in their minds which goes something like this: "The man loves the girl but is really not sure about her". For example, in a relationship, a person who is feeling unsure will rationalize their feelings so that cognitive dissonance can be reduced.

Narratives: The building blocks of love are culture, society, and personal experiences. One or more theoretical postulates proposing that people create stories about what love means to them as shaped by culture-family dynamics and pre-experiences are Love as a Story model by Robert Sternberg, among others.

Cultural Influences

From culture to culture, love is not experienced the same way. What to one culture is a lifelong commitment that slowly grows over the years is to another culture nothing but a grand, consuming fire that burns bright and then dwindles ever so quickly.

Individualism Vs. Collectivism: The same romantic love in individualistic societies is related to an ontological fulfillment, an individual's autonomy and self-expression. In contrast, however, a collectivist culture would burden people with familial approval and societal expectations.

Romantic Love Ideas: There are differences across different cultures in the aspects that each regards as ideal romance, such as the idea of soulmates in Western cultures or arranged marriages in other parts of the world. Such beliefs dictate how the experience of love has developed and how much expectation leans toward relationships.

Stages of Love: Love scale Development

Love does develop with time, and studies say that romantic relationships usually pass through several notable stages:

First Attraction: Honeymoon characterized by infatuation, excessive physical attractiveness, and excitement.

Building Intimacy: Sharing personal feelings about values and experiences- Mostly, one obtains a deeper emotional connection during this stage.

Mature Love: It usually depends on transitions from passionate to companionate memories, producing the deepest grounds towards faith, commitments, and emotional support in relationships.

Dissolution or End of Love: A few dissolutions cause to end of relationship syndromes, because of the absence of communication, a result of infidelity, two humans growing apart, or different, normally unmet needs.

Love and Identity

The importance of love won't only take its value when it comes to identity shaping; being in love would rather activate an inner appraisal and an outer one, thereby changing the way individuals perceive themselves, their role in the world, and towards someone else. Most of the time, the person always defines himself together with the partner (for example, "We aren't just a team"), which will further consolidate the person's identity.

Love's Contribution to Mental Health

Healthy, sustainable relationships correlate with good mental health outcomes and refer to lower incidences of anxiety and depression; on the other hand, unhealthy, imbalanced relationships can greatly damage mental health, increasing stress and at times a sense of insecurity.

The psychology of love is very complicated, more biological and emotional, individual and cultural differences, and personal development. It shapes our thinking about behavior and well-being. Love, which we usually think of as an emotional experience, is fueled more than that by cognitive, social, and even evolutionary forces that explain the phenomenon .

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