Start the Thing, Stop the Nonsense

***This story was previously published on Medium.com by the author***

Life is the toughest teacher. It throws things at you that you never expect — like a car accident after you’ve looked both ways.

But nothing compares to the insights you get from experience. Mistakes are great teachers, and learning from them helps you learn about yourself, and the more you live, the more you learn.

After several decades of bumping into the same lessons (disguised in different outfits, of course), I’ve gathered some wisdom. Let’s call them Vickie’s 15 Rules for Surviving Life With Only Mild Regret.

1. The best way to start something new is to start.

Earth-shattering, I know. But honestly, I’ve spent more time planning, preparing, and procrastinating than actually doing the thing.

To begin, begin. — William Wordsworth

I guess he never had TikTok.

2. The best way to stop something is to quit doing it.

Addicted to bad habits? Toxic people? Doom-scrolling? Smoking? Here’s your exit strategy: stop.

Not always easy. Definitely simple. Also applies to relationships, carbs, and arguing with strangers on Facebook.

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.” W.C. Fields

He had the right idea: just stop.

3. Most everything on the internet is just someone’s opinion.

Even this article. Especially this article. The internet is a giant suggestion box, and half the suggestions come from folks who think birds are government surveillance drones.

“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts.” Daniel Patrick Moynihan.

I guess he never saw Twitter.

4. If you have an opinion, you better know why.

Because “I just feel it” doesn’t hold up in debates. Or in marriages. Or courtrooms. Or with your teenager.

Google it. Check the history. Do your homework before you open your mouth.

5. There is no such thing as ‘just sex.’

Unless you’re a toaster. Then it’s truly just electricity.

For humans? Feelings get involved. Memories get made. Awkwardness is guaranteed. Let’s not pretend it’s a handshake.

“Sex is like a bridge; if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.” Mae West.

6. Take responsibility for your actions, own up to your mistakes.

Except for cats. They can knock stuff over, stare you dead in the eye, and walk away guilt-free.

The rest of us? Apologize and grow up. No one is coming to save you. Don’t play the victim.

There is always a choice. It isn’t other people and circumstances keeping you down — it’s YOU keeping yourself down.

"Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown — ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.” Russell Brunson

7. When you feel down, step into the sunshine. Touch some grass. Feel the world around you.

This sounds like hippie nonsense until you try it. Suddenly, you’re grounded and wondering why you ever thought binge-watching crime documentaries would cheer you up.

A bad day isn’t a bad life.

“It’s impossible to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger is self-destructive. Let it go…laugh!” Wayne Dyer

Hard to stay miserable when you’re getting vitamin D.

8. Stay connected. To friends, clients, community.

Also, your Wi-Fi, if we’re being honest. But mostly to people.

Especially the ones who check on you when you disappear for 72 hours and don’t even text back.

“The only way to have a friend is to be one.” Anonymous

9. You may be right, but so am I.

This is how mature adults agree to disagree — and stay civil in the process. It works in marriages, friendships, and even politics.

It is possible to remember that multiple perspectives can exist without anyone flipping a table or slapping a face.

Your uncle watches one news channel, your neighbor watches another, and somehow, both think they’re absolutely right. Maybe they are. Maybe nobody is.

10. People aren’t perfect, so marriage is never going to be perfect.

It’s two flawed humans trying to build a life while navigating stress, bills, mismatched thermostat preferences, and possibly a shared bathroom.

Perfection isn’t the goal. Partnership is.

Pick someone who’ll grow with you, not someone who checks off a list.

“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” — Ruth Bell Graham

11. Allowing someone else to take over a task means giving them permission to do it their way.

If you want help, you can’t micromanage it.

Handing something off means surrendering control — even if they fold the towels “wrong” or load the dishwasher like a four-year-old.

Breathe. Let it go.

It got done. And, wasn’t that the goal?

12. Change is inevitable.

And also annoying. But necessary. Like taxes. Or your mom’s advice. You don’t want it, but deep down, you know she’s right.

“There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it.” — Shannon L. Alder

13. It’s better to be happy than sad.

Happy people are more positive, more fun. Feeling sadness is heavy and just leads to more sadness. This isn’t toxic positivity — it’s basic emotional math.

“Happiness is never by chance, it is by choice.” — Jim Rohn

Happiness is a choice — so choose wisely.

14. You’ll never be satisfied if you don’t know what you want.

Most people know what they don’t want. That’s easy.

But if you don’t know what you do want, how will you know when you get it?

“People are never satisfied. If they have a little, they want more. If they have a lot, they want still more.” — Paulo Coelho

15. Don’t burn bridges. You never know what the future may bring.

Sometimes the person you cut out of your life holds the key to an opportunity you didn’t see coming, or at least a decent restaurant recommendation.

Also, bad decisions make for great regret later, and regret has a long memory.

“He who burns his bridges better be a damn good swimmer.” — Harvey Mackay

..........

Life keeps coming at us, whether we’re ready or not.

Sometimes it creeps in quietly. Other times, it hits like a tornado made of paperwork and bad timing.

Your entire life can change in an instant.

You can’t control most of what happens, but you can control how you respond.

So here’s what I try to remember:

• Be courteous, nice, and kind.
• Be thankful.
• Be cooperative.
• Don’t waste time on regret.
• Don’t wait for “later.”
• What you do today shapes who you are tomorrow.

Take the risk. Say the thing. Start the project. End the nonsense. Laugh at yourself often.

And when life acts like a circus, go ahead and enjoy the show — just don’t mistake the clowns for ringmasters.

I’m still learning, still growing, and still writing it all down — one life lesson at a time.

© 2025 Vickie Radovich

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***Story previously published on Medium.com by the author***