"Interior" Motive

My mother has depression, anxiety, manic-obsessive compulsive disorder, insomnia, and is, overall, just a subconscious burden on my mind, and also on her own mind. Tortured by her past, there was one thing that stuck out for her; her obsession for all things orderly, and all things clean. It has been part of my life for the better part of 15 years, and for her, her whole life. Because of this, I have always said the same thing to myself for the past couple of years: "why does she always flip out in this house?"

When she leaves the house, she's completely fine, cheery, talkative. But when she comes back, it's like the whole place flipped upside down, as if someone keeps beating her. If there is even a little bit of trash on the floor, or the the dishes didn't get put away, she turns into Joan Crawford. The details aren't necessary.

With all that being said, I still love my mother, and I did everything in my power to help her. But I wasn't doing enough. One day my mother got herself a shelving unit for her bedroom. For the first time in a long time, maybe even the first time ever, she was... relieved. Not joyous, not ecstatic, but definitely just okay.

That's what got me, that's what got me to do interior decorating. You see I knew I wanted to help people, but I tried talking, I tried understanding, but sometimes all people really need to be open with someone else, is what my mother needed: a change in environment.

It works for Queer Eye. You see the interviews with these five men, and they all change real people's lives within a week or two. If you watch each episode like I did, you can see that along with the change in clothes, lifestyle, and guru-like talk, they always seem to breakdown in tears. It's only when they do the great and epic reveal of their home, completely re-done, and unrecognizable from their previous surroundings. When they breakdown like that, I recognize that same gesture of relief that I saw in my mom. Sure, maybe it wasn't dramatic like in the show, but the little smile behind her eyes still shows. When I became a certified interior decorator, I wanted to do more than charge people for putting together their house or office. Each interior, each person living in that interior, are completely different. They all want to experience that "thing." That sigh of relief, that complete and utter bliss.

Unfortunately what works in Queer Eye, doesn't work in the real world. In the show, it seems like unlimited funds are poured into this person's house, so it can be changed and perfected. That's why it works, the change becomes so overwhelming that you have no choice but to change with it, and therefore alter your life drastically with the change. But us working class people do not have that luxury of unlimited funds, so we change one part of something in a room, but then wait maybe another couple of weeks, or in my parent's case, months, before buying something else to spruce up the place. Probably in maybe a total of three years, my parents FINALLY buy the last matching couch for the living room. I know this is the story of a majority of people. This completely long intro leads to my very first tip of, I hope, useful info that I had to discover myself to change the perception of people's worlds, so you can, for once, sleep peaceful at night and maybe, just maybe, finally your past stays where it belongs: in the past.

Change the room. The whole room.

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT change a room one piece at a time. You have no idea what that does to your mental health. "Oh I'll just buy a sofa now, and wait for two weeks until I get paid to get the coffee table. Hopefully my bills will allow me to do that." How many times have you had that discussion in your head? It makes sense right? You've got rent and utilities to pay, and that comes first no doubt, because that's obvious. But what will happen to that shiny new thing you bought for your space when you're waiting for the extra cash flow to complete the look? It will deteriorate, lose its new look. When you first buy something nice for yourself, you like it. But after a while, it becomes part of your collection of forgotten things. Same goes for furniture and home accessories, you buy it new, get excited, and think about all the other things you would buy to match the rest of it for the room, but then you don't because something came up, or you ran out of money, and then those "new" pieces you bought turn old and get damaged, and then all of a sudden you're screwed, and back to square one. But I got just the solution for all walks of economic life.

For the people who are middle to upper-middle class, take out credit at a furniture store. I actually suggest this for young people too, who don't have any car payments or student loan debt. In order to get a house in the future, you need to show major on-time payments. Any furniture dealer will help you take out credit for furniture, and those on-time payments go towards a fantastic credit score when done right. Good environment and good credit, a win-win!

For the Mr. Budget family that can't afford to take another major payment, I suggest re-using old pieces, and turning them into something "new." For all sofas and loveseats, go ahead and buy a fabulous afghan, or a throw blanket. If you place them randomly on the back of the sofa, and then have them lightly bleed into the mid-section, along with matching throw pillows with a pattern on them, or picture, instead of standard color, it can change that living room from old to "accidental Bohemian" in no time. Putting family photos in new frames, and placing them on a naked wall in either a shape, or even random-like tiles, will suffice. You won't need to buy an expensive large painting to hide the nakedness.

Have this mindset for all parts of the house. See outside the box of things. It's easier said than done, I know. Believe me, it's much easier to buy new things instead of recycling old. Believe me, it feels just as good to re-use your old stuff to create art when compared to buying new stuff. Whatever you decide to do with your space, just remember: Do all of it. Do not start to do it, and then get lazy. You work Monday through Friday? Then make it a priority to change things up on the weekend. Listen to music, make a cappuccino, make a day out of it! If you're living on your own, invite a friend to make it enjoyable. You've got roommates, or a boyfriend/girlfriend? Even better!

Listen, I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety too, just like my mom. I left trash in my room, I didn't take care of it. Your interiors matches your brain. In order to change your brain, you gotta change the interior. As soon as I did a complete over-haul of my bedroom when I was living in my parents house, it sparked confidence, and a mood boost almost overnight. I suddenly gave a damn about my looks. I wanted to do more with myself. And with constant trials to maintaining it, I found that when my environment changed, I became more patient with my fellow man, and all the suicidal thoughts seemed to drift away. We all have our reasons for a change in scenery, but maybe you never knew why you have the urge to change it. You'll be surprised what your sub-conscious is telling you without you even realizing it. That "gut feeling" for something new, listen to it.