Imposter Syndrome - How To Start Believing In Yourself

Perhaps you have recognized a voice within you that often tells you that you are, in fact, an impostor who does not deserve your professional success, position or status. It’s only a matter of days before someone “breaks in” on you and reveals that, in fact, you have no idea what you’re doing or what you’re even talking about.

Imposter syndrome occurs in people who are actually very successful in what they do, but are unable to accept that this success was obtained through their work and effort, but tend to attribute it to lucky circumstances or completely devalue their own work (“it’s nothing special”). Mostly these people hardly accept compliments, they have the impression that they don’t deserve their success and that at some point someone will “discover” them.

The term imposter syndrome was introduced by clinical psychologists Paulina R. Klans and Susan A. Imes in 1978. There are even different types of “imposters” when we talk about this syndrome, and author and expert in this field Valerie Young has written more on this topic.

Today I am sharing with you a few suggestions that helped me to deal more easily with the “imposter” on a daily level:

Become aware of your “imposter”

Although it seems simple, it often takes a long time to notice your own thoughts that tend to doubt and devalue your personal success. Start paying attention to your own thoughts in situations where, for example, you receive a compliment, a promotion, recognition…any kind of praise related to your competence, knowledge or success.

Pay attention on:

Inner dialogue: What do you say to yourself? What thoughts occur to you? Are these thoughts true about you? Pay attention to the reality of your thoughts and what may be the tendency of your “fraudster” to find a reason in everything, the sense that something is not good enough, valuable, important… Maybe these thoughts are often accompanied by certain feelings or, on the other hand, bodily sensations? Notice when they occur and in what exact situations?

Your reactions: How do you behave in these situations, what do you do? Do you give thanks for receiving the award/compliment, or do you show by your reaction that you don’t deserve it — perhaps through humor, downplaying, or some other way?

If feelings of self-doubt, inadequacy, or diminished recognition arise, watch them unfold and recognize what is reality and what is your impostor syndrome.

Talking to the inner voice

Often when I am faced with thoughts of doubt, questioning and diminishing my own worth and work, I have an honest conversation with my inner voice, and the following questions I ask myself help me quiet the influence of this voice:

– What are the facts that tell about my success — results, time invested, achievements, goals achieved?

– What facts, evidence indicate that I didn’t do something well enough?

– What do I need to hear that will be encouraging and supportive whenever I am faced with questioning my success?

What does the criticized part of me need?

We are used to speaking to ourselves with words of criticism, diminishing our success, judgment, and we generally believe that this is the only way to motivate ourselves or “raise” ourselves.

This is not true.

We can motivate and encourage ourselves with words of support, not criticism and self-flagellation. We just need time to discover what those concrete, personal sentences of empowerment are. It is necessary that those words are deeply authentic, and not copied from self-help books that we would not otherwise use in our ordinary everyday conversations.

These are some questions that can be a good guide for you on the way to finding exactly those words of support, instead of criticism and condemnation (which, unfortunately, are usually the first things that come to mind):

– What does that criticized part of me need at that moment?

– Who are the people who could help me in those moments and in what way?

– What would I rather hear when I make a mistake, instead of that criticism?

– How would I treat my friend in this situation?

Awareness that many struggle with a similar challenge

Share with others your experiences regarding your struggle with impostor syndrome! Read about successful and famous people who have faced this syndrome just like you (it is much more present than we realize!).

You are definitely not alone in this story, and when you see that others are overwhelmed with a sense of inadequacy, doubt and fear of being “discovered”, and, for example, in your eyes they are models of success — then it will be easier for you to you believe in your own success and worth.

This story was originally published on Medium.