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How to Plan a Perfect First Date

First Date Tips for Men & Women: What to Do & What to Avoid

By Ryan BirdPublished 10 months ago 4 min read

First dates are weird. One minute, you're hyping yourself up in the mirror, telling yourself you're totally normal and definitely charming, and the next, you're sitting across from someone, sweating over the fact that you just forgot how words work.

Relax. First dates don’t have to be stressful. They’re supposed to be fun—a chance to meet someone new and see if you get along. So, how do you plan the ideal first date without making it feel like a job interview or an awkward school presentation? Let’s break it down.

Step 1. Don’t Overcomplicate It—Just Pick a Solid Plan

The best first date ideas are simple. No grand gestures, no expensive five-course meals, no skydiving unless you’re absolutely sure they’re into that.

The goal? Pick something that:

  • Allows conversation (so, no loud concerts or packed nightclubs).
  • Isn’t too intense (like, maybe don’t do an escape room on date one).
  • Gives you an easy “exit strategy” in case things go south.

Best First Date Ideas That Actually Work

  • Casual coffee or drinks – Low pressure, easy to extend if it’s going well.
  • Walk through a cool part of town – A mix of strolling, stopping for a snack, and people-watching.
  • Mini golf or bowling – Just competitive enough to make things fun without getting weird.

Avoid dinner-and-a-movie. It’s long, expensive, and sitting in silence for two hours isn’t exactly a great way to connect.

Step 2. First Date Etiquette

You don’t have to be Prince Charming, but a little dating etiquette is always a good idea.

What NOT to do:

  • Show up late (if you’re running behind, at least text).
  • Talk about your ex (this should go without saying, yet here we are).
  • Complain the whole time (no one wants to hear about how much you hate your job).
  • Stare at your phone (unless you’re showing them a funny meme, keep it in your pocket).

What TO do:

  • Be on time.
  • Listen. Ask questions. Actually care about the answers.
  • Keep the conversation balanced—don’t just talk about yourself.
  • Pay attention to the vibe. If they’re into it, great. If not, don’t force it.

Basically, just be normal. That’s it. That’s the bar.

Step 3. How to Act on a First Date Without Overthinking It

Nervous? That’s normal. But the trick is to not let it show.

If you’re wondering what to do on first date, the answer is simple: be yourself, but your best version.

  • Confidence > Cockiness – There’s a difference between being confident and listing all your achievements like you’re at a job interview.
  • Flirting > Trying Too Hard – Playful teasing? Good. Trying to force a spark? Awkward.
  • Casual > Overprepared – Having a few conversation starters in your head? Smart. Bringing a checklist of talking points? Maybe dial it back.

You better be keeping things light. Think of it as hanging out with someone interesting—because that’s all a date really is.

Step 4. First Date Rules That Are Actually Important

Forget whatever nonsense you’ve heard about “playing it cool” or waiting exactly three days to text after. Real first date rules are way simpler.

1. Don’t Fake Who You Are

If you pretend to love jazz when you actually hate it, guess what? You’re going to be stuck listening to jazz for months if things work out. Just be honest.

2. Be Nice to the Waitstaff

You can learn a lot about someone by how they treat servers. If you’re rude, impatient, or act like you own the place—red flag.

3. Don’t Turn It into a Therapy Session

Yes, life is hard. No, your date doesn’t need to hear about your childhood trauma or your ex’s emotional unavailability just yet.

4. Offer to Pay, but Don’t Make It Weird

If you asked them out, you should offer to pay. If they insist on splitting, don’t argue. And if they want to cover it, let them. Just be cool about it.

Step 5. First Date Tips for Men (or Anyone, Really)

Want some first date tips for men that actually make a difference? Here’s what separates a meh date from a great one.

  • Dress appropriately – No need for a suit, but maybe don’t show up in a hoodie that smells like last night’s takeout.
  • Have a plan, but be ready to change it – If she says she’s not feeling drinks, suggest a walk instead.
  • Don’t try to impress—just connect – Fancy words and name-dropping won’t do as much as actually listening.
  • Confidence is attractive, arrogance is not – There’s a fine line. Don’t cross it.
  • Relax. It’s just a date.

If you can just make them laugh and show genuine interest, you’re already winning.

Step 6. What to Do on a First Date to Make It Memorable

The best first date advice? Make it feel like an event, not just another checklist item.

  • Add a little spontaneity – After coffee, suggest walking to that cool bookstore nearby.
  • Make a bet – Loser buys the next round of drinks or has to pick the next date spot.
  • Find a little adventure – Instead of just sitting and talking, go see a new part of town together.

Make the date feel fun and natural!

Step 7: What Happens After the Date?

You had a good time. Now what?

DO:

  • Text them to say you had fun (yes, even if you’re a guy).
  • If you want a second date, say so. Don’t play games.
  • Keep the momentum going—don’t wait a week to reach out.

DON’T:

  • Overanalyze every detail of what they said or did.
  • Panic if they don’t text back immediately.
  • Assume silence means rejection—sometimes people just get busy.

At the end of the day, dating isn’t that complicated. If you like them, tell them. If they like you too, great. If not, move on.

Final Thoughts

There’s no such thing as a perfect first date. Things might go off-track. You might spill a drink. There might be an awkward silence. That’s fine. What really matters is how you handle it. Laugh it off. Keep the energy light. If you have fun, they will too.

So, forget the pressure. Just be yourself. That’s how great connections actually happen!

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About the Creator

Ryan Bird

I'm Ryan Bird, Assistant Editor at HookupGuru.com. After 6+ years on dating apps, hookup sites, and cams, I know what works. I share real tips to help you match faster and chat better!

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